View Full Version : Serverama - A fanfic I made. (Note:Got this idea from JYAP.)
Protoss119
09-05-2005, 06:23 AM
I got this idea from JYAP's fanfic - all credit for the actual fanfic idea goes to him.
Anywho, this Futurama-based fanfic is not just about EB. It's also about Eternal War, Atomic Chicken (an old favorite of mine), and many other servers I've been to, starring Protoss119 (Me), JYAP, Menice, Barrey, and two guests from Battle.net:Highsephiroth and Deltashadow.
So let's get started.
Serverama
A fanfic (so to speak) by Protoss119 aka Dredoc Anthorngleas
Episode 1:The Phantom Noob
Protoss119, JYAP, Barrey, Menice, Highsephiroth, and Deltashadow are all playing Elemental Battlegrounds. Protoss, using his kukri rogue, sneak attacks JYAP's Bard, who was at battle with Deltashadow's Sorcerer. JYAP is concealed 50%, and so Protoss misses.
Meanwhile, in the shadows of Mootophia...
A viewscreen shows the characters at war and their masters at play.
???:Are they at Elemental Battlegrounds?
Noob: Duh.
???:SHUT UP! Exellent...soon my noob army shall conquer Elemental Battlegrounds and countless other servers...soon they shall know the wrath of...
The lights turn on. Why didn't I say they were off?
???:...GENERALGRIEVOUS666!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!111111111onemillion!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111
Noob:Yes, they most certainly would...if you would hurry up and attack.
General Grievous 666:Alright fine...Deploythenoobarmy.
Noob:Yes, your noobishness.
Protoss119
09-05-2005, 06:47 AM
Episode II:The Mootophia Grand Army
From outside the Deadly Abode where this is taking place, noobs are being deployed to annihilate our heroes. They soon have gotten to the center and start attacking them with their noobish weapons.
Barrey:It's a newbie assault! By god!
Protoss119:AAAAHH!!!
Highsephiroth:AAAHH!!!
JYAP:AAAAHH!!!
Menice:AAAAHH!!!
Deltashadow:AAAAHH!!!
JYAP:AAAAHH!!!
Protoss119:AAAAHH!!!
Barrey:AAAAHH!!!
Menice:AAAAHH!!!
Highsephiroth:AAAAHH!!!
Protoss119:AAAAHHTHISISGETTINGOLD!!!
JYAP:AAAAHHLETSSTOP!!!
Protoss119:AAAAHHOK!!!
The pros wall themselves in as the newbie assault grows ever greater.
Menice:Isn't there anything that can save us?
Barrey:I don't know!
Meanwhile, deep in space, in an Imperial Star Destroyer...
Imperial Officer:Captain Needa, we have located a rebel base. It is located at..."Elemental Battlegrounds"?
Captain Needa:Inform Lord Vader and move to the surface. We shall conquer this single planet with this single Star Destroyer. The rebels will know fear.
The Star Destroyer jumps to lightspeed. Meanwhile, at the Deadly Abode, the makeshift wall in which our heroes are cowering by-
JYAP:Shut up.
-has almost been completely destroyed. Suddenly, the Star Destroyer jumps out of lightspeed, and about 72 TIE Fighters attack the newbies.
Protoss119:Holy Hell! The Galactic Empire!
Aboard the Star Destroyer...
Captain Needa:They don't look like rebels...but who cares what they look like. Hell, who cares if they're rebels! I just want to kill them! Lord Vader has nothing on this...
Imperial Officer:We're being hailed by Lord Vader, sir. We're sending the message in.
Captain Needa:...hell, that brick can't even kill his own son! Who are we to fear-
Darth Vader:Captain Needa?
Captain Needa turns to face him, looking shocked, and bows.
Captain Needa:Lord Vader?
Darth Vader:I seem to recall you mention a Brick?
Captain Needa:Oh...I was talking about...the, uh...Darth...Vader in, uh...Dagobah! Yeah!
Captain Needa starts choking, as if someone is denying him breath by squeezing his neck. Darth Vader is using Force Grip on him.
Darth Vader:Land all ground units on the surface an intitiate a call for reinforcements.
The viewscreen closes.
Protoss119
09-05-2005, 07:05 AM
Episode III:Wrath of the Empire
The newbies start retreating as the Imperial Stormtroopers, AT-STs, and almighty AT-ATs walk all over them. Literally.
Meanwhile, our heroes have retreated to the Forbidden Peaks, where they plot their next move.
Protoss119:OK. From what I know, the Empire must think we are Rebels, and they will destroy all of us when they get the chance.
Menice:At least they plowed through the newbies.
Protoss119:Yeah, that's true...
JYAP:Wait a minute, how'd you learn all this?
Protoss119:Imperial Spyware.
JYAP:Bad Protoss.
Protoss119:Shut up.
Whispering Voice:Psst! Over here!
A hand motions for them to come over, and they all do so. There, they find Aribeth (the NPC).
Protoss119:Aribeth, what the hell are you doing here?
Aribeth:The Empire chased me here, but they haven't decided to invade here yet.
Protoss119:...which doesn't make sense.
Aribeth:I know. Vader can be strange sometimes.
Deltashadow:Indeed. So - what do you suppose we do now?
Highsephiroth:I have a plan.
Menice:GASP!
Highsephiroth:Shut up, I'm new here.
Menice:NEWBIE!
Highsephiroth:SHUT UP!
JYAP:OK, what's your plan?
Highsephiroth:Deltashadow's a Sorc, right?
Deltashadow:Yeah, and Barrey's a Sorc, and Menice is a Wizzy.
Highsephiroth:The roads leading to the Deadly Abode are all blown up, giving us a vantage point at which to cast at the Star Destroyer and other big things. The Stormtroopers will be likely to stop us, however, so we'll have to use hit and run tactics.
JYAP:That's for squares!
Protoss119:Shut up.
Highsephiroth:Anyone else is welcome to use the Snow Speeders docked here.
Protoss119:Pwnage!
JYAP, Protoss119, Aribeth, and Highsephiroth take the Snowspeeders and they all go to the Deadly Abode.
Snowspeeder 1-Protoss119 Pilot, JYAP Gunner.
Snowspeeder 2-Aribeth Pilot, Highsephiroth Gunner.
Protoss119
09-05-2005, 09:57 AM
Episode IV:Forget it, I'm not gonna name this one.
The Snow Speeders are taking off.
Deltashadow:YOU FORGOT TO TELL US HOW TO GET TO THE DEADLY ABODE!!!!
Highsephiroth:THAT'S VERY NICE, NOW GO AWAY!!!
The Snow Speeders fly off.
Deltashadow:Well, yeah. How are we supposed to-
Suddenly, hundreds of arrows, bolts, bullets, throwing axes, darts, shurikens, and other throwing weapons fly at Barrey, Menice, and Deltashadow.
Barrey:Incoming Noobs!
Barrey instantly casts a spell that takes all 3 of them to Deadly Abode. They are very unfortunate to land in the middle, however.
Stormtrooper:Hands up, rebel!
Deltashadow:Really, I don't know anything about Star Wars. What are you?
Stormtrooper:...HE'S CROSSED THE LINE OF FANTASY!!! RUN!!!!!
All the stormtroopers, AT-STs, AT-ATs, and all Empire-Related stuff blow up. The snow speeders land.
JYAP:What'd I miss?
Menice:The imperials suddenly died!
All:YAY!
100 Star Destroyers and a peanut drop out of hyperspace.
All:CRAP!
JYAP:Beware the peanut! It makes up most of the military power!
Aribeth:Just RUN!
Everyone runs until they find a Lambda-Class shuttle, and they get inside and take off.
All:YAY!
Aribeth:I have one question for you, JYAP...
JYAP:Um...yeah?
Aribeth:...why did you rescue a noob?
Noob:HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-
A big brawl begins.
~thwack pow bang zap blam ka-boom sock!~
The noob is dead.
All:YAY!
Afterwards, they all stop saying "yay!" at the same time.
All:YAY!
Shut up.
Protoss119:So...where to?
Highsephiroth:Elemental Battlegrounds?
Protoss119:OK!
They fly to Elemental Battlegrounds, where 100 Star Destroyers and a peanut await them there.
JYAP:Run away from the peanut!
They fly away from Elemental Battlegrounds.
Protoss119:So...where to?
Highsephiroth:Elemental Battlegr-~is smacked by JYAP~
JYAP:How about Eternal War?
Protoss119:OK!
They fly to Eternal War, where they discover hundreds of Noobs imprisoning Trazzac Bendor and Armaggedon's Psychotic Storyteller.
JYAP:Hi Arma!
Armaggedon:Get us out of here!
Trazzac Bendor:Get me out, too!
Armaggedon:Yeah, that's nice, Trazzac.
JYAP:OK!
They rescue Armaggedon, but just as Kyth is about to board, the door closes. The noobs don't do anything, fearing the Empire's wrath should they destroy the shuttle. Our heroes fly into space. Again.
Menice:How much more can we hold on this thing?
Aribeth:Oh, let's see...about...0 people, if you include the noob that just boarded us.
Noob:HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII~massacred~
Protoss119
09-05-2005, 02:18 PM
Episode V:Titles are for Squares
On Darth Vader's Super Star Destroyer...
Moff Eah (pun intended):Lord Vader, Aribeth and the Rebels have escaped twice from our fleet at Elemental Battlegrounds. I reccomend removing the peanut.
Darth Vader:Leave them to me. I have hired a Bounty Hunter who is not Samus Aran to the disappointment of every game freak who is reading this text right now. His intelligence states that they are headed toward Atomic Chicken. Deploy your fleets there.
Moff Eah:Yes, my lord.
Meanwhile, in the Lambda Shuttle housing our heroes...
JYAP:Where are we going now? Most modules here are CEP, and this ship isn't CEP.
Protoss119:How about Atomic Chicken?
Menice:Atomic Chicken?
Protoss119:Yeah. It's a PVP Module housing a very helpful and friendly DM. Let's go there.
JYAP:OK.
They fly to Atomic Chicken. As they exit the ship, a mysterious face is there to greet them.
???:Welcome, welcome all, to Atomic Chicken!
Protoss119:Hey, Div.
???:Toss! What's up?
JYAP: Div?
Protoss119:Yeah. This is Divinity, the friendly DM I was talking about. Div, this is JYAP, Menice...blah, you already know.
Divinity:Of course I do. What brings you here?
Protoss119:We're being humorlessly chased by the empire.
Divinity:That sucks.
Deltashadow:Indeed.
Divinity:I'll create a bunch of Atomic Chicken soldiers to help fight them off.
In 1 second, the very peaceful arena becomes a huge fortress, with Turrets, Finesse Fighters, Sorcs, Wizzies, Clerics, Bards, a Barbarian or two-
Noob:HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII I!
-maybe an Adept OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT!?~massacred~
Anywho, the empire soon arrives with 100 Star Destroyers and a peanut.
Barrey:Hit the peanut!
Divinity:Why?
Barrey:Because I said so!
Divinity:Why do you keep using exclamation points?
Barrey:Because I want to! Why do you keep asking questions! We need to focus! Hit that peanut!
Divinity:OK. ~sigh~ Fireatthepeanut.
Aribeth:In case things don't go well, I have a plan of escape...
They all huddle together, and Aribeth whispers to them a plan...
JYAP:What?
Aribeth:I said we just hack through the troops and escape.
Deltashadow:Yes, I'm sure we were all thinking the exact same thing. Hack through the troops and escape! Who would have thought? Do you have whispers? I might kill you tonight.
All except Deltashadow:O_O
Divinity:Whatever. It looks like we're doing pretty well...We have boarding craft ready to send a battalion of captured noobs into enemy vessels, we have mages fireballing the Star Destroyers...everything's going pretty well. What possibly could go wrong?
TO BE CONTINUED...
Protoss119:That.
Two thumbs up. :tup: :tup:
Protoss119
09-06-2005, 02:28 PM
At first, I was expecting some negative feedback, but oh well.
Chapter VI:404 Title Not Found
Suddenly, Darth Vader poofs where our heroes are.
Aribeth:Vader!
Darth Vader:Yes, Aribeth...and look who I brought with me.
Emperor Palpatine stands right next to him.
Palpatine:1 4m 3mp3r0r P41p471n3 1 w111 pwn j00
Protoss119:How did you get here?
Darth Vader: Plot Device.
Menice:CAN I HAVE IT!?
Darth Vader:No.
Menice:CURSE YOU!
Darth Vader:Yup.
Aribeth:Run away!
They run into the shuttle and take off.
Protoss119:I think we lost them...
Darth Vader:Yep, we did...
Protoss119: OK...Oh, look! It's Vader! Hi Vader!
Darth Vader:You will all die.
Emperor Palpatine: Pr3p4r3 2 b pwned
Darth Vader and Palpatine are thrown out of the ship.
Emperor Palpatine:N3x7 t1m3 1 w111 pwn j00!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111onethousand!!!!!!!!!!111111
The two of them fall to their doom.
"Our Heroes killed Darth Vader for 1138 point(s)"
"Our Heroes killed Emperor Palpatine for 1337 point(s)."
Vader and Palpatine respawn at Evil Base.
Darth Vader:This is Darth Vader to any Imperial Forces in the area. Evacuate us to the nearest Star Destroyer immediately.
A Super Star Destroyer, the Executor, drops out of lightspeed. Vader and Palpatine board it.
Darth Vader:OK. It's time to charge into Atomic Chicken and kick some arse. Prepare the Executor for a jump into lightspeed.
Palpatine:0r 1 5h411 pwn j00!
Darth Vader:You threaten to pwn everyone, Palpatine.
Palpatine:0h y34h? W47ch 7h15!
Palpatine pwns a person with a pwnage gun.
Darth Vader:That doesn't explain anything.
Palpatine:Wh0 C4r35? L375 g0!
The Super Star Destroyer jumps to lightspeed.
Ooh,ooh,can I help? Can I help?
Meanwhile,in some other Eternal arena...
Rain:(cell phone rings)Hello? Oh,hi Hail,how are you?(chops off a noob's head)
Hail:Perfectly fine. How's the noobslaying going?
Rain:Good as usual.(kills another noob)
Hail:I can tell. There's blood all other me.
(camera zooms out,revealing Hail hidden near Rain)
Rain:...whoops...
Protoss119
09-06-2005, 03:34 PM
Lol, sure. Go ahead. :jump: :jump: :jump: :jump: :jump: :jump: :jump: :jump: :jump:
More mini-fics!
Sleet:So...bored...can't...kill...anything...
Hail:26...(thunk)27...(thunk)28...
Heat:ACHOO!
Noob:HOLY HELL MY HAIR'S ON FIRE!
Snow:Smitten!
Noob:(smote)
Sleet:Hmm...what can I do?(looks at weird ring Hail dropped)...
Moments later.
Opposing Team:WTF? Chocobos aren't in this game!(die)
Sleet:Onwards,Chocobos!
Protoss119
09-07-2005, 02:53 PM
Lol. :-)
Chapter VII:HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII~big brawl~
The empire retreats from Atomic Chicken.
All:YAY!
Listen, guys, that's getting kind of old, so can you just stop?
All:No.
Wait a minute, I seem to recall not putting in a character called All.
All:You didn't. I'm everyone.
No fair!
Anywho, our heroes (Divinity has joined the group, just so you know), having left atomic chicken, are enjoying an average day in the Lambda Shuttle. Deltashadow and Highsephiroth are playing a LAN game of Starcraft; Aribeth is praying at an altar to Tyr while Protoss119 is trying to bombify the altar but fails every time in a Wile E. Coyote-like way; and JYAP, Menice, and Barrey are all playing a LAN game of Elemental Battlegrounds. Divinity is busy being DM for the entire shuttle.
Arma:Wait! I'm supposed to do something, too!
You just watch TV.
Arma:But TV is bad for you! It kills brain cells!
I SAID WATCH TV!
Arma:OK, fine, fine...
Suddenly, they see a mummy in space.
JYAP:Why is there a mummy in space-~is pushed out of the way by Protoss119~
Protoss119:A MUMMY! MUMMY MUMMY MUMMY MUMMY MUMMY! Can we ressurect it? Pleeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaase?
JYAP:Why do you want to ressurect a Mummy?
Protoss119:I just want to test out my ever-so-rare book.
Protoss119 shows everyone a book called Ressurecting the Dead:The Official Do-It-Yourself Guide.
Menice:Cool. How did you get it?
Protoss119:It wasn't easy...
FLASHBACK...
Protoss119:OK, I'll trade you a full 2 Kernels of Corn for that book.
Noob: Done.
...KCABHSALF
JYAP:Wow. Noobs are stupider than I thought.
Protoss119:Yup.
Suddenly, the Executor drops out of lightspeed above our heroes and Darth Vader hails them.
Darth Vader:This is Darth Vader. Surrender immediately.
Emperor Palpatine:0r w3 5h411 pwn j00!
Darth Vader:Quiet, you.
Protoss119:Oh hell.
TO BE CONTINUED...
JYAP:Saved by the bell!
Protoss119
09-07-2005, 02:59 PM
Typo:...KCABHSALF not ...KCABHSALP
...KCABHSALF is supposed to be "Flashback" backwards, for those who don't know.
EDIT: As self-proclaimed (lol) president of this post, I find it useless as I have gone back and fixed the typo.
Another mini-chapter!
Rain:(finds the Life VS Death model changer)Oooh,what's this thingy do?
Changer:Select Model.
Rain: 8)
Later...
Noob:HOLY HELL! HASTED SPECTRE ATTACKING! RUN FOR YOUR-(dies)
Protoss119
09-08-2005, 01:58 PM
ROTFLOLMFAOEOEFJEIFIWFRIEWIEIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!1111111111111111111111shift+1 :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
BTW, what do you think of the chapters so far?
Chapter VIII:The continuation of Chapter VII which is the continuation of Chapter VI which is the continuation of-
Shut up!
Anywho, our heroes watch in turmoil as the Executor hovers above them, about to destroy them.
Darth Vader:Prepare to fire!
Suddenly, a newbie ship crashes into the Super Star Destroyer.
Emperor Palpatine:N00bs! Th3y 5h411 b pwned!
The newbie ship and the Executor attack each other, and our heroes escape.
Everyone:Wait a minute! All isn't everyone! I AM!
All:No, you're not!
Oh, brother.
Both:Shut up!
Wait...who are you?
Both:I'm both!
Everyone:I'm everyone!
All:No, you're not.
Everyone:Yes, I am! You're stealing my identity!
All:~mocking Everyone~ You're stealing my identity!
...
Everyone:...
Both:...
All:Uh-oh...
~big brawl lasts for 10 seconds~
~all is dead~
Thank god! Wait...who are you?
~just shut up and continue the story~
But I couldn't continue the story if I shut up.
~I SAID CONTINUE IT~
Oh, right. Anyway, our heroes have escaped to Antiworld.
Good guy newb:Welcome, warrior!
Deltashadow:How odd. A good guy that's a noob.
Good guy newb:Please, join us in glorious-
JYAP:Shut up.
Good guy newb:You dare taunt me!?
JYAP kills the noob.
Protoss119:Hey, how'd you automatically kill that noob?
JYAP:Super-duper noob-killing device.
Protoss119:How does it know who's a noob and who doesn't?
JYAP:It doesn't.
Protoss119:Then it's not a noob-killing device.
JYAP:Exactly. Hehehehehe... :naughty:
Protoss119:Hey, Div, any server bastards around?
Divinity:One. Wald Aylown.
Protoss119:Damn. PREPARE THE SPAM CANNON!
JYAP:Prepare the spam cannon!
Menice:Prepare the spam cannon!
Barrey:Prepare the spam cannon!
Deltashadow:Prepare the spam cannon!
Highsephiroth:Prepare the spam cannon!
Note:They relay the message to each other and don't all say it at the same time.
Arma:Hey! Aren't you forgetting someone!
Oh, yeah.
Aribeth:Prepare the spam cannon!
Shuttle Computer:Loading spam... :bump: :spam: :spam: :spam: :spam:
Arma:Wait, this ship had a computer?
Shuttle Computer:...spam loaded.
Aribeth:FIRE!
The ship fires the spam at Wald Aylown, who is killing effies and cursing and breaking rules. All the spam hits him and spreads like a disease.
Wald:AAAAUUUUUUUUUGGHHHH!!!!
Wald is eventually overcome by the spam and dies. The spam is the only thing that's left.
Protoss119:OK, let's go.
JYAP:I agree. This place isn't the best of places.
They leave Antiworld.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Menice:WHAT!? I WAS gonna suggest we go to Elemental, but the stupid to be continued thingie killed the idea! Who's writing this!? I demand to-
Menice is knocked out by a cane (like one used to pull bad comedians off the stage) to the back.
Pretty good.
Snow:Hey Rain,what's up?
Rain:Through PRC I realized I could amplify my noobslaying skills threefold if I took 5 levels in werewolf.
Snow:But you're level 17.
Rain:Well,it wasn't easy.
FLASHBACK
Rain:DELEVEL ME TWICE IN FIGHTER OR I'LL REDEFINE LIVING HELL!
DM:(complys)
END FLASHBACK
Snow:So what can you do?
Rain:(morphs into a werewolf,taps noob on shoulder)
Noob:(suffers heart attack,dies)
Snow:...can I see this PRC of yours?
Protoss119
09-09-2005, 02:44 PM
ROTLF!
Chapter X:The Narrator Behind the Stupid Anime Title
Title spoof of Inuyasha:The Castle Behind the Looking Glass (which I have never seen and don't want to see anyway)
Narrator is a trademark of JYAP. All rights reserved. Copyright (C) JYAP
Our heroes are in space. Menice is still unconsious from the cane, but overall, it's a pretty normal day.
Menice:~comes to~ Uuuggh...what happened? Oh, yeah. I DEMAND to know who's writing thi-
Menice is beaten over the back with the same cane.
Protoss119:Oh, hell. Now he's gonna get beaten over with the same cane over and over again.
Divinity:Well, I could always zap his memory so he won't remember that he demanded to know who was writing this.
Protoss119:That works.
Menice:~comes to~
Protoss119:Already?
Menice:Uuughh...what happened?
Protoss119:NOW!
Divinity zaps Menice's memory.
Menice:Strange...for a while there, everything tasted red. Ah, well. Hey, JYAP! Mind if I join you?
JYAP:Yeah.
Menice:...you cruel, twisted thing.
Protoss119:Hey, Menice! Wanna help me bombify the Holy Altar of Tyr?
Menice:OK!
Menice helps Protoss119 bombify Aribeth's altar, and they are successful for the first time.
Aribeth:...blast! My altar's been destroyed. Good thing I have about 1000 more in my room.
Aribeth leaves for her room to go get an altar.
Protoss119:...N0000000000000000000000000000!!!!!!! !zero!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now what am I to do?
JYAP:You could try piloting the ship because nobody's doing that.
Protoss119:OK!
Highsephiroth:So, wanna go to Elemental Battlegrounds?
Protoss119:OK!
Highsephiroth:Can you stop saying "OK!"?
Protoss119:OK!
Highsephiroth:No, I mean it.
Protoss119:OK!
JYAP:Protoss, shut up.
Protoss119:OK!
JYAP:NOW.
Protoss119:O-
JYAP tackles Protoss119 and rips his OKifier out of his body.
Protoss119:E...OL? AK? ~OKifier stolen~
JYAP:You can have it back when we get to Elemental.
Protoss119:You are a cruel, twisted, evil man.
Deltashadow:Can I add on? Please? Please? PLEASE!?!?!?!?
Protoss119:AK-err, sure.
Deltashadow:OK! You are a cruel, twisted, evil, sock man.
JYAP:Sock's not an adjective.
Deltashadow:...What's an adjective?
Aribeth:We're here.
Protoss119:Good, I'm tired of arguing.
They all get out of the Lambda Shuttle and enter Elemental, choosing their characters.
JYAP gets Worst.Singer.Ever., Menice gets Menice12, Barrey gets Siam, Deltashadow already has his character, and so does Highsephiroth and Arma, Protoss119 gets Dredoc the Kukri Man, Divinity's the DM, and Aribeth is Aribeth. Wow, that's a lot of people. I'm not complaining, though, as this is just a-
Darth Vader:Get on with it.
Emperor Palpatine:Y34h! G3t 0n w1th 1t!
Alright, fine. Anywho, Aribeth encounters Deltashadow at the (repaired) Deadly Abode.
Aribeth:By the power of Tyr's justice, I, Aribeth de Tylmarande, shall smite you-~is blown away by Deltashadow's fireball~
Deltashadow has killed Aribeth de Tylmarande.
Aribeth:That...
Deltashadow:Sucked?
Aribeth:Indeed.
Aribeth respawns at the Elemental Plane of Earth. The game kind of goes on for a while...but somewhere in the shadows, a foreboding figure lurks in the darkness...
???:Boba Fett here. I've found 'em.
The Executor hovers in space among the proud remains of the newbie vessel.
Darth Vader:Where are they?
Boba Fett:They at-
TO BE CONTINUED...
Boba Fett:God damnit!
Hail:Hey Heat.
Heat:Yes Hail?
Hail:Why are we named like this?
Heat:If I told you,your head would asplode.
Hail:No it won't.
Heat:Well,it's because-(No head asploding for you!)
Hail:(head asploded)
Protoss119
09-12-2005, 02:03 PM
Lol.
Chapter XI:The quest for the To Be Continued machine
Boba Fett:Finally! Anyway, they're at-
Boba looks one more time to see that they are gone.
Boba Fett:GOD! That's it! I'm damn tired of this To Be Continued thingie! I'm gonna-
TO BE CONTINUE-
Boba Fett blasts the To Be Continued sign.
Boba Fett:-find the source of these To Be Continueds! Vader, postpone this mission until further notice.
Darth Vader:To be continued.
Boba Fett:Not funny.
Darth Vader:I don't care. Mission postponed.
Boba Fett:OK.
Meanwhile, in the Lambda Shuttle housing our heroes, another normal day is occuring when suddenly, a server appears in front of them saying "Kest Nihan's Legit".
Protoss119:At last! It's back up!
They land on the server in a place that resembles Port Llast...
Aribeth:This resembles Port Llast...
...except that newbies have occupied the town.
Aribeth:...except that newbies have occupied the town.
Stop copying the narrator.
Aribeth:Stop copying the narrator.
No, I mean it.
Aribeth:No, I mean it.
I'm stupid.
Aribeth:You're stupid.
GAH! Meanwhile, as they land, a CSer attacks Protoss119 and flees. Protoss119 doesn't even suffer a scratch.
Protoss119:Did you feel something?
The CSer attacks him again and flees.
Protoss119:Ah, it was probably nothing.
The CSer attacks him again and flees.
Protoss119:C'mon, guys.
The CSer attacks him in full, not fleeing.
Protoss119:ENEMY NOOB! ATTACK!!!
The CSer is disintegrated by a killer Arclite Shock Cannon on the shuttle.
JYAP:God, CSers suck.
Menice:Yup.
Aribeth:Agreed.
Deltashadow:Indeed.
Barrey:Uh-huh.
Protoss119:Yeah.
Arma:Yup.
Highsephiroth:Yep.
JYAP:Yep.
Arma:Uh-huh.
Aribeth:Indeed.
Deltashadow:I concur.
Noob:1 w111 pwn j00!
The noob is also disintegrated by the Arclite Shock Cannon.
Meanwhile, in deep space, the Slave I flies to a strange, colorful planet...
Boba Fett:Fett here. I've tracked the To Be Continueds to planet Bob. I'm heading there as soon as possible.
Boba Fett enters the atmosphere of planet Bob and is attacked by sucky noob fighters.
Boba Fett:I knew the noobs were involved somehow.
No you didn't.
Boba Fett:Quiet you.
I'M THE NARRATOR! I'M SUPPOSED TO SAY THAT TO J00!
Boba Fett:Too bad.
Suddenly, Boba Fett suffers an engine failure and crashes onto the surface. Ha ha. Anywho, he finds a lone To Be Continued generator. Arming his E-5 Blaster Rifle, he fires and destroys the generator.
Boba Fett:That should end the To Be Continueds.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Boba Fett:Hey, I thought I got rid of tho-~sees a To Be Continued generator factory~...oh crap...
Rain:GODDAMN CSERS! JUST FALL IN A HOLE AND DIE!
Hail:I cam help with that!
Rain:Elaborate.
Hail:Watch.
CSer:(sneaks towards Rain)
Hail:(throws glitter on CSer having spotted him)
CSer:Hah,it's only-ARGH! I'M BLIND! GOTTA HI-why can't I blend in-ARGH!(dies)
Rain:You killed him with glitter.
Hail:No,this is killing with glitter.(grabs CSer,shoves glitter down his throat,choking him to death)
Protoss119
09-13-2005, 03:24 PM
LOL! Funny as usual.
BTW, I'm working on Dredoc's PnP D&D Character Sheet. I've done everything except Feats (working on), spells, and Ravane, his wolf animal companion (really).
Chapter XII:File:Title. Downloads:0.
Our heroes have just landed on Kest Nihan's Legit where we left off.
Protoss119:Hey, guys.
JYAP:Yeah?
Protoss119:Why are we here?
JYAP:Because we're running away from the empire.
Protoss119:I know, but why were we born?
Aribeth:Because...~gives explanation as to why he was born~
Protoss119:Yeah, but what is our purpose?
JYAP:To be here.
Protoss119:GAH! You'll never understand.
Aarin Gend walks out of Kendrack's Mercenary Barracks.
Aarin Gend:M'lady, it's good to see you again. If we are to find the cult, it will be with your aid.
Aribeth:Could I ask as to why-~is pushed out of the way by JYAP~
JYAP:What's with all the noobs?
Aarin Gend:I've been meaning to talk about that. These amateur noobs have us hostage.
JYAP:But that's the same thing.
Aarin Gend:Not really. They're just amateurs at being noobs.
JYAP:Then they're pros.
Aarin Gend:No, they're not.
JYAP:Then they're noobs.
Aarin Gend:Well, they're not true noobs.
JYAP:Can you just give me a straight answer!?
Aarin Gend:They're amateur noobs.
JYAP:Meaning they're pros, right?
Aarin Gend:No, they're noobs. They're just bad at being noobs.
JYAP:Then they're not noobs!
Aarin Gend:Yes they are.
This argument continues for a long time. Meanwhile, on Planet Bob...
Boba Fett:Hey, Almuric.
Almuric:Yeah?
Boba Fett:See that factory over there?
Almuric:What do you want me to do to it?
Boba Fett:It's spamming To Be Continued generators. Can you deal with it, please?
Almuric:Sure.
The To Be Continued generator factory blows up, along with all the To Be Continued generators and their infernal To Be Continueds.
Boba Fett:That should do it. Thanks.
Almuric:No problem, just doing my job.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Boba Fett:NOW WHAT!? ~sees a To Be Continued generator factory factory~ OK, that's it. I'm leaving.
But-
Boba Fett:BUT NOTHING!
Hail:Wow,Ultimate Ranger sucks.
Rain:What sucks? Where? Is it killable?
Hail:The Ultimate Ranger class. It doesn't seem too appealing.
Rain:Why don't you try it while I try to slay that weirdo with the helmet over there?
Hail:Fine...
Rain:HAVE AT THEE!(charges at Boba Fett,who promptly backhands him,KOing him and sending him back to base)Owww...(returns)
Hail:Oh,hi Rain.
Rain:Hail,how the hell did you manage to slay the entire server with 10 packs of arrows in 10 seconds?
Noob:YARR!
Hail:(fires 80+ arrows in 1 second)
Noob:HAX-(dies)
Protoss119
09-14-2005, 02:02 PM
:rofl:
:rofl:
:rofl:
:rofl:
Chapter XIII:Search Results for "Title":None.
JYAP finally gets the idea that the noobs holding Kest Nihan's server hostage are amateurs who don't know how to play the game and insist on playing it anyway.
JYAP:Oh, OK. I get it now. So, the noobs. What do you want us to do about them?
Aarin Gend:Kill them.
JYAP:Done.
Aarin:What!? Impossible!
JYAP points to a window, and Aarin Gend goes to look through it, where he sees the remains of a small town and many noob corpses.
Aarin:WHAT THE...Destroying the city was NOT necessary.
JYAP:Yes it was.
Aarin:No, it wasn't.
JYAP:Yes it was.
Aarin:No, it wasn't!
JYAP:Yes it was.
Aarin:NO, IT WASN'T!
JYAP:Yes it was.
Aarin:NO, IT WASN'T!
JYAP:Yes it was.
Aarin:NO, IT WASN'T!
JYAP:Yes it was.
Aarin:NO, IT WASN'T!
Aarin suddenly feels something sharp hit his back, and falls unconsious. Behind him is Aribeth armed with a tranquilizer.
Menice:Thanks.
Aribeth:I have to deal with that all the time.
Meanwhile, behind Planet Bob...
Boba Fett:...mess with me, will ya? Not gonna happen. I'm leaving! I'm not putting up with these To Be Continueds!
An Anvil falls on him.
Boba Fett:Not...coming...back!
Another anvil falls on him.
Boba Fett:Still...not!
1138 Anvils fall on him.
Boba Fett:You can break my bones but...not...my...spirit!
Schoolgirl-like Boba Fett fan who tracks him all over the universe to find him and huggle and kiss him:HIIII!
Boba Fett:OK OK! I'LL STAY! Just get it away from me...
The fan and the anvils disappear, and Boba Fett is introduced back to Planet Bob.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Boba Fett:...
Rain:Damnable homework. Keeps me from seeing use.
Heat:I can help with it.
Rain:Be my guest.
Heat polymorphs into a dragon,and breathes on the homework.
Rain:...do dragons count as dogs?
Heat then BBQs Rain.
Rain:I have fire resist you moron. Now unpolymorph now.
Heat complys.
Heat:You're no fun...
Protoss119
09-15-2005, 03:11 PM
:-)
Pretty much finished the Feats and Spells and am now working on Ravane, Dredoc's Animal Companion.
Chapter XIIII:Titles for Dummies
The Lambda Shuttle housing our heroes have finally departed from Kest Nihan's Legit and fly toward Eternal War for a frontal assault.
Barrey:Why are we attacking Eternal War again?
Arma:Because we're idiots.
Barrey:...that makes sense...
Suddenly, our heroes are ambushed by Uber Starships with Bad Streff Damage.
Everyone:-=SCREAM=-
Oh hell, not you again.
Everyone:So what? You can't do anything about it.
Oh no?
~everyone disappears~
GET OUT OF MY FANFIC! NOW!
Anywho, our heroes are being attacked by Uber Starships with Bad Streff weapons.
Highsephiroth:Don't worry! The heroes always win!
One of the ships roll a 20 in their attack, ensuring doom.
Protoss119:I hate you.
The ship blows up, and it looks like our heroes have finally been put to eternal rest. Suddenly, the Uber ships disappear and the Lambda Shuttle reappears along with our heroes.
Protoss119:Thanks, Al.
Highsephiroth:YOU HATE ME!?
Protoss119:Quiet you.
Almuric:No problem.
Meanwhile, on Planet Bob...
Boba Fett opens up a comlink to Vader.
Boba Fett:Yo, Vader.
Vader:Have you completed your quest yet?
Boba Fett:I failed. They bribed me to stay in.
Vader:Be reluctant that you have stayed. Now...where are the rebels?
Boba Fett:They were on Elemental Battlegrounds, but I think they left.
Vader:Keep searching.
Boba Fett:As you-
TO BE CONTINUED...
Boba Fett:Can't even let me finish a simple ACKNOWLEDGEMENT, can you!?
Snow:Sleet,what are you playing?
Sleet:I'm not playing,I'm summoning!(is holding a GBASP)
Snow:Right...summoning...(walks off...until 4 differently colored wheels speed by)WTF?!?
Sleet:Told you. Slay them all Kirbies!
Kirbies:(swap Wheel Kirby for Mic Kirby,then sing)
Noobs:THEIR SINGING HURTS LIKE THE AGONY OF A THOUSAND DEATHS!(die)
Snow:Well,that's what Blindness/Deafness is for.(trips)
Protoss119
09-19-2005, 03:23 PM
LOLZ0RS! Wish I could summon that many creatures.
Did I mention I have a little something to counter lawninjas?
~2 Dark Jedi Lawyers pop from the ground and zapinate lawninjas with Force Lightning~
Chapter XIIIII: PnP Titles and Narrators
The Lamba Shuttle housing our heroes-
Barrey:Jesus H. Christ! Can't you name it something shorter?
No.
Barrey:C'mon!
OK...the Winnebago.
Barrey:...
The Plymoth Neon?
Barrey:...
Hotdog?
Barrey:On second thought, forget I asked.
Suddenly, an Imperial Star Destroyer drops out of lightspeed to greet our heroes. They are hailed by Moff T.
Moff T:This is Moff T of the Galactic Empire.
Menice:Go away.
Moff T:No. You are under arrest. Surrrender and you will have yet to live.
Menice: Let me rephrase that:Go away or be pwninated.
Moff T: Don't be rediculous.
Suddenly, the Imperial Star Destroyer is hurled toward Eternal War. On the surface, 10000 Caradril Jadystines (Halberd WMs) marching and one behind them.
Caradril Jadystine (the one behind the armies):Mwahahahhaahahahahahaha! Soon, all of Eternal War shall be mine, cleansed of newbies, CSers, KD spammers, and pros alike! It will be a perfect world!
Suddenly, the Star Destroyer crashes into the army.
Caradril:... :shock:
Meanwhile, on Planet Bob...
TO BE CONTINU-
The To Be Continued is blasted by Boba Fett's E-5 Blaster Rifle.
TO BE CONTI-~blasted~
TO BE CON-~blasted~
TO B-~blasted
TO BE CONTI-
The To Be Continued sign is blasted by the cannons on the Slave I and it exits Planet Bob's atmosphere.
Boba Fett:Thank god.
No, thank me, f00l!
Boba Fett:No.
Boba Fett is suddenly-
TO BE CONTINUED...
Boba Fett:For the first time, I'm actually thankfull for that To Be Continued.
Rain:Don't you just hate it when noobs 4 levels below you get haste and try to kill you?
Hail:I'm only level 9.
Rain:Right. But if you were level 11...
Hail:Yes...what are you gonna do about it?
Rain:Watch.
Noob:DIEDIEDIE
Shy Guy:(makes some Shy Guy noises before slamming a homerunworthy hit into the noob's skull)
Rain:And it counts towards becoming a star player too. Handy ain't it?
Protoss119
09-20-2005, 03:35 PM
:D :D :D
Chapter IIIIII: (Insert Title Insult for Title here)
The Lambda Shuttle housing our heroes that Barrey wants to rename is-
Barrey:When I asked for you to rename it, I expected it to be shorter.
You can't always get what you want.
Barrey:I never get what I want.
Deal with it. Anywho, Protoss119 is watching a commercial on TV.
ON DA COMMERCIAL...
Samus is walking around on SR388.
Samus: Da de daa...
Suddenly, Samus is bombarded by a bunch of Rippers (Shell-like creatures that fly and go in only 2 directions:Left and Right) moving at lightning speed.
Samus:HAX!
Soon, Samus is KO'ed.
You can pwn Samus and other peoples with the new RIPPER GUN!
A weapon similar to an AK-47 appears on the screen.
Each sold separately. Not available on Coruscant, Alderaan, or Washington, DC.
JYAP:Hey, wanna go to Eternal?
Protoss119:OK!
JYAP:Hey, I thought I took that out.
Protoss119:I thought I took that out, too.
They go to lightspeed. Just as they are about to go to Eternal, they drop out of lightspeed and are blocked by a Star Destroyer battling Black Sun and the Rebels in the Skyhook Battle (The final level of Star Wars:Shadows of the Empire).
Protoss119:Oh, for the love of...stupid traffic. ~honks horn~ C'MON, I GOT A SERVER TO GO TO HERE! ~honk honk~ CAN'T THIS WAIT!? ~honk honnnnnk~
Meanwhile, AWAY from Planet Bob...I think I'll give Boba Fett a break.
Boba Fett:Well, that's impossible, since I need to answer to Darth Vader and I'm being bombarded by-
TO BE CONTINUED...
Boba Fett:Those, not to mention the fact that noobs are chasing after-
A piece of tape appears over Boba Fett's mouth.
Boba Fett:That's logically impossible, since-
Just shut up so I can get through with Band Practice!
Suggestion for the shuttle:Star-(is shot for unoriginality) Fine! How bout Striker? Sheesh! You don't have to shoo-(is shot again) DAMMIT-(is shot,then fires back)
Rain:Gangers are moronic,eh?
Heat:Yes,but what do you propose to do about them?
Rain:(is on the phone with Tassadar)So you can come? Cool! Hurry please!(beep)Ok,can you cast invis sphere?
Heat:Yes...
Later...
Ganger Noobs led by Cara Colds(WORST. NOOB. EVER.(moreso than Drow Dumbass)):THERE HE IS!
Rain:Oh merry men!
Heat:(backs up,revealing 100 different Rain hallucination)
Gangers:WTF-(are slain by the real one who gets +30 to damage due to shock)
Protoss119
09-22-2005, 02:23 PM
ROTLF!!!! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Chapter-
~title is tossed out the window~
Dear beloved viewers (mostly),
I'm going to take a break from the fanfic (NOT a permanent break!) and start with a little mini-comic of my own.
Juice
In the Gates to Hell map in Eternal War, Caradril is pwninated by Rain.
Caradril:Oww...
Soon, Caradril respawns at Evil Base.
Caradril:Gah...Rain owns me! What am I gonna do?
Suddenly, a box of steroids appears before him.
Caradril:Hmm...these will certainly help.
He takes the steroids and heads into the arena, where he finds Rain. He makes about 100 attacks in one round, hitting with all of them, killing Rain.
Caradril Jadystine killed Rain Mirnimane for 5 point(s).
Half Fiend:Congrats, Caradril!
Caradril:...
Songbird:You da man!
Caradril:...BLARG!
Caradril starts pwninating his team mates and everyone in the arena until he's the only one in it. Suddenly, he sees Emperor Palpatine.
Emperor Palpatine:Good...use your anger...destroy them all and become one with the dark side of the force.
Caradril:LAAAAAAALALALALALAAAAAAA!!!!!~passes out~
The moral of the story:Don't take steroids as they are hazardous to your health.
Protoss119
09-22-2005, 02:26 PM
And in case you don't know why Caradril did what he did under the influence of steroids:
Pwninating his teamates:Steroid Rage.
Seeing Emperor Palpatine:Hallucination.
Passing out:OD, methinks it's called.
Rain:(floats down on Good Base on some Mario-style platform,with R-98 under it)Stupid Caradril...
Random Noob:...(hits Rain with Ray of Frost,then is hit,killing him in one blow)
Rain:Idiot,bug off.
Noob:(attacks again,is killed again)
Rain:BUG OFF!
Noob:(is killed before he even casts)
Rain:BUG OFF!!!(echo)
Noob:(hits Rain with Magic Missile)
Rain:YEAAAAAAAARGHBLEBLEBLEBLE!!!(takes out a whopping 8 chainsaws(Don't even ask how he can hold them all),attacks)
Rain Mirnimane has chainkilled(literally!) Random Noob for 0,0,0,0,0,0,0,and 10 points.
Rain:Idiot...(forcefully logs him off)
R-98=Rain-98 Lives Left
Protoss119
09-27-2005, 02:01 PM
I know where that idea came from... :D
Chapter VIIIIIII:When french-accented but english-speaking bunnies and piggies attack
Barrey:GOD! Why don't you change it!?
Change what?
Barrey:The title of the shuttle!
What title?
Barrey:RAGGGHEROERNEFNOENFIRNGO!!! :mad:
Stop spamming, spammer.
Barrey:4444HHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111onegoog ol!!!!11111111 :mad: :mad: :mad:
~sigh~ Well, our heroes-
Barrey:Not including you. :P
Shaddup.
Barrey:No. :P
Barrey is soon hit with a bag. Ha ha.
Barrey:~checks what's in the bag~...HEY! WE GOT A MILLION BUCKS!
:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:
Our heroes are so busy arguing that the Lambda Shuttle flies into some unknown server in the far reaches of Gamespy.
Suddenly, tanks in service of the pig army under the command of Iron Tusk (from S.W.I.N.E.) start attacking and are blasted by the Arclite Shock Cannon.
Pig Light Tank Pilot:~blasted~ LONG LIVE IRON TUSK!
Another Pig Light Tank Pilot:~blasted~ HELP ME!
Pig Scout Pilot:~blasted~ LONG LIVE THE GENERAL!
Note:They all have french accents.
Meanwhile, on some distant planet, Imperial Stormtroopers are burning down a clay house with flamethrower.
Inside, a big blob of melted clay falls on Wallace.
Wallace:My word! What is this substance?
Another blob of melted clay falls on Grommit, who throws it on Wallace. Suddenly, Wallace and Grommit start bubbling.
Wallace:I say! What in heavens is going on?!
Wallace, Grommit, and the house suddenly melt altogether. The stormtroopers burn their little hobbit feet trodding among the remains of the clay house.
Storm Trooper:No rebels here.
Storm Trooper Seargent:Keep searching. We won't rest till those rebels are as dead as dead can be.
Storm Trooper:Yes, sir.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Storm Trooper:Hey, what's that? I think it's a rebel...~blasts the To Be Continued~
:D
:D
:D
Rain:WOOT! I'M LEVEL TWENTY! I PWN THE NOOBS!
Snow:Not really.
Hail:Right...
Heat:Yawn.
Sleet:Boring.
Rain:You guys suck.
Heat:Fine fine. Go kill 30 noobs in 1 minute if you want to impress us.
Rain:NOOBS! DIE!(whoosh)
Snow:You just pointed him to Antiworld.
Heat:That's the best part!
Meanwhile,Antiworld's population drops from 64 to 42 to 21 to 7 to 3 to 1 in the span of 1 minute.
Protoss119
09-29-2005, 02:42 PM
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
BTW, I'm going to go to work on...wait...let the suspense build...
...
...
...
DREDOC ANTHORNGLEAS SPRITE SHEET!
Out of NES Samus Aran's sprite sheet, of course.
Chapter XIIIIIIII:The-~smote~
The-
Aribeth:Wait just a moment! If you remember, I was put into this fanfic. So far, I haven't said a word for a long while! I demand you at least give me one line!
Emperor Palpatine:0r 1 sh411 pwn j00!
Boba Fett:Yeah! Wait...who's doing the pwning?
Emperor Palpatine:m3z0r5
Boba Fett:...no way. You aren't worthy!
Emperor Palpatine:N00b
Boba Fett blasts Emperor Palpatine with his E-5 Rifle, and he nearly smites him with a pwnage gun, instead smiting the evil that is Barbie.
Barbie:That is so unfashionable!
Barbie is blasted by both Emperor Palpatine and Boba Fett, destroying her. My fanfic is ruined...
Aribeth:Tell me about it. Where are we?
Err. Aribeth suddenly appears in the-
Barrey:NAME IT! NAME IT NOW!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA111111111eer4444444!
~FLASH~
Our heroes are enjoying a normal day-
Barrey:With our loot.
JYAP:If I may intervene, Barrey, WHY did you buy a lemo with some of our money? We have a shuttle, after all.
Barrey:So we can go places!
JYAP:Barrey...you haven't done many idiotic things...but this and harassing the narrator...is THE most idiotic thing you've done.
Barrey:Kewl! Now we can go pla-
Protoss119:Will you guys shut up? I'm trying to watch TV!
JYAP:TV is for squares.
Menice:Yeah, and squares are for squares.
Menice is beaten over the head with a cane (like the one used to take bad comedians off the stage) and falls unconsious.
Menice:Now...what...~X_X~
Aribeth walks into the room.
Aribeth:Have I mentioned that with every day of your lives, chaos ensues?
JYAP:Um...no. Oh well.
Meanwhile, some Imperial Stormtroopers are attacking Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends.
Stormtrooper:Why are we attacking this place?
Stormtrooper Captain:Rice. Cut.
Stormtrooper:O_O
They keep attacking.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Stormtrooper:Have I mentioned every one of these To Be Continueds are pointless?
Um, no.
Stormtrooper:Well, every one of these To Be Continueds are pointless.
I know. You just said that.
Stormtrooper:No, I didn't.
Yes, you-
TO BE CONTINUED...
Good point.
Rain:I play Kirby in attack mode.
Heat:Then I make my Bronto Burt attack you directly. You lose.
Noob:ZOMG CARD GAMES ARE FOR LOSERS
Rain+Heat:\_/
Noob:HAX! HAX! GANGNOOBS-(doubled up)
Rain:They never appreciate the value of card games.
Heat:Indeed. Care to play another round?
Rain:Ok.
Protoss119
09-30-2005, 01:56 PM
:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
So far, so good when it comes to the sprite sheet. I've finished the recoloring which didn't take long, though the remodeling of Samus's arm cannon may take some time, not to mention the number of them I have to remodel. Oh well, it will all be worth it in the end.
For the card game, as sucky as this might sound, I suggest making some advantages for the noobs so both Pros and Noobs are even sides.
I normally don't do chapters during Fridays/Saturdays/Sundays/Any other no-school days, wanting to enjoy the weekends/holidays/etc. (Unless it's Chrismas or any other holiday), but I've got a really good joke that I wanted to put into it. Best thing to do is save it for Monday (OMFG! MONDAY!).
Protoss119
09-30-2005, 01:59 PM
What I mean by advantages for the noobs is that pros have anti-noob stuff, so shouldn't noobs have anti-pro stuff?
Not really. However,all the pros require a sac,so they can usually be deployed en masse. Plus,the Noob Flood card.
Protoss119
09-30-2005, 03:48 PM
That much is true.
It took some time, but I finally finished the Dredoc Anthorngleas Sprite Sheet! Have a look for yourself.
http://www.freewebs.com/metroidhumor/Dredoc%20Anthorngleas.PNG
Cool. Now make a Rain Mirnimane sheet right down to the scythe.
Protoss119
09-30-2005, 08:18 PM
All done! Enjoy!
http://www.freewebs.com/metroidhumor/Rain%20Mirnimane.PNG
Protoss119
10-01-2005, 06:03 AM
Oh, BTW.
Rain Mirnimane is a trademark of JYAP. Samus Aran is a trademark of Nintendo.
Protoss119
10-03-2005, 03:23 PM
Chapter VIIIIIIIII:~smotten~
Our heroes have decided to take a day off and go to EB. They all have the same characters they had last time and are at Forbidden Peaks.
Deltashadow is being bombarded by Barrey's Missile Storms and suddenly throws a cat at him.
Barrey:Aw, it's sooooooooooo cute! ~pets the cat~
Deltashadow:Yes! The cat is my ultimate weapon and will annihilate you!
Barrey: Don't be so mellodramatic. What could a cat possibly do to hurt me?
KABLAMZORS!
The cat asplodes.
Deltashadow:That's why you NEVER trust cats! I keep telling you, but you never listen! I knew this was going to happen someday!
Barrey:Say, where do cats originate from, anywho?
Meanwhile, the Imperials are on a strange new plane with huge, blue walls keeping them from escaping the grey, sandy terrain.
Stormtrooper:Whoah...would you look at THAT!
The stormtrooper squadrons find a huge pile of...well, I think you know. Suddenly, a dark looming shadow appears over the stormtroopers.
Stormtroopers:-=SCREAMZORS=-
A giant cat tears them apart and sets foot in the litterbox.
TO BE CONTINUED...
A.K.A. I have to practice for band now.
Rain:I'm too bored to make a fic. Go look at my sprite sheet.
Ummm...now would be the time.
I'm serious.
Do you have a life?
Now I know you're just scrolling for these. No more from now on.
Dang.
Fine,you win!(kills a noob) Happy?
Protoss119
10-04-2005, 02:20 PM
:-)
I'm going to decrease the size of all the Dredoc sprites (to make him look more halfling-like) and add diagonally-facing scythes (because the vertical ones won't work).
Chapter VIIIIIIIIII:Summons can sometimes suck
Our heroes are still on EB and still playing. Menice summons a Minotaur against Highsephiroth.
Minotaur:~roar~
Menice:ATTACK!
Minotaur:~roar~
Menice:I said ATTACK!
Minotaur:~roar~
Menice:I SAID ATTACK, YOU POOR EXCUSE FOR A COW!
Minotaur:~roar~
Menice:Oh brother.
Menice unsummons the Minotaur.
Highsephiroth:Summons can be stupid sometimes.
Meanwhile, the Imperials are...still chopped up.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Stormy trooper:No, we're not!
Yes you are.
Heat:Dammit Sleet, how come you never fight?
Sleet:Shush, I need to concentrate.
Heat:What's to concentrate about feeding fish?
WARNING: ALIEN SIGNATURE DETECTED
(a alien from Insaniquarium pops up and eats several noobs before they shoot it down)
Heat:O_o
Protoss119
10-05-2005, 01:58 PM
:grin: :grin: :grin: :D :D :D
Slight problem:I can't resize Dredoc without killing the sprites altogether. The Aribeth sprites are coming over pretty well, though.
Chapter VIIIIIIIIIII:Deekin's Retribution
Our heroes are-
Audience:WE KNOW! THEY'RE STILL AT ELEMENTAL!
Well, anyway, a battalion of noobs has landed on the surface of Forbidden Peaks and are about to attack Protoss119.
Meanwhile, in Protoss119's corner, Protoss119 is talking to Deekin.
Protoss119:...but you have to understand, the people here are different than the people in Waterdeep. I'm sure they'll love it. Now get in there and knock 'em dead!
Deekin:Boss not be disappointed!
Deekin walks up to the noob battalion and sings the doom song.
Deekin:D00M D00M D000000000000000M!!!!!!
Noobs:~dead~
Deekin:Um...why aren't people alive? You not lies to little Deekin, do you, boss?
Protoss119:No, they've just...uh...fainted...in excitement. Your song was so good, it LITERALLY knocked 'em dead!
Deekin:Deekin's song good after all! Maybe he puts on big play, and you helps Deekin practice!
Protoss119:No no no, please don't don't DON'T-
Deekin:D00M D00M D00000000000000M!!!!!
Protoss119:~dead~
Deekin:Uh...you okay, boss?
Meanwhile, the Imperials are marching all over Hoosac and are confronting Anders Borkman from The Dark Secret of Weatherend.
Anders Borkman:By the power of Wind, Rain, Snow, and-
Anders is blasted before he can finish.
Stormy the Trooper:Why in the world are we looking all over books and TV shoes just to find the rebels?
Stormtrooper Captain:T DIVIDED BY LA!
Stormy the Trooper:~sigh~
TO BE CONTINUED...
Stormy the Trooper:That and why are we being bombarded by To Be Continueds?
Noob:EARTH!
Noob:FIRE!
Noob:WIND!
Noob:WATER!
Noob:HEArT!
Noobs:GO PLANET!
Captain Planet:By your powers combin-
Rain:SHUT UP!(slices down several tress near Planet,crushing him)
1...2...3...CLEAR!
(ZAP)
c0ed: (is owned by Heat...for about the 74th time)**** it. It's time for a L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-LAWSUIT!
Sleet: (stole Delta's DS with game included)DAMN YOU c0ed!
Heat: Oh fine.
c0ed's Lawyer: Well,my client was being brutally pwned-
Heat's Lawninja: Like this?(kills lawyer)
c0ed: NO FAIR! I'm reporting you for breaking a lot of server rules-(SLICE)
Heat: Overruled.
c0ed: (respawns in base) That bastard-...what is that weird pink ball thingy there in front of me? And why does he have 3 others like him-
Sleet: (has summoning GBASP) DIE YOU INFIDEL!
Random Islamic: (explodes,saving the innocent in danger)
Protoss119
03-15-2006, 05:50 PM
Lol! :D :D :D
Chapter VIIIIIIIIIIII: Star Fox Assaulted - the Demo
Our heroes are-
~Imperials instantly assault Forbidden Peaks~
Not yet, you phools!
Darth Vader: All your base are belong to us. So shut up.
Emperor: U b t3h- ~shmacked by Vader~
Meanwhile...
Protoss119: ~pulls out Trombone and plays Bb~
Aribeth: What's that going to- ~asplodes~
Deltashadow: ~crawls out of hole, was being hunted by Aribeth for a month now~ Is she dead?
Protoss119: Yes.
Deltashadow: Permanently?
Protoss119: Yes.
Deltashadow: HOORAY!!!
Protoss119: I never liked her anyway.
JYAP: Well, in case you don't know, the Empire is attacking, so use that sissy little music thing and kill it.
Protoss119: It's a trom-whatcha-ma-call-it!
Suddenly, a warp gate appears out of nowhere and out comes the Great Fox.
Fox: Star Fox team reporting for duty!
All: Yay!
Landmasters spawn on the ground below and our heroes get in it. JYAP is blasting the AT-ATs' necks (their weak point) with the cannon while Protoss119 is just mowing down everything in his way. The others are doing whatever the hell they want. Meanwhile, the Star Fox team has just launched in Arwings, but Slippy is instantly shot out of the sky by TIE fighters.
Slippy: Wheeeeee! ~crashes and asplodes~
The Great Fox fires its guns at the Executor's bridge and thus destroys it. Afterwards, the super star destroyer is going dowwwwwnnnn...until it hits a slope and becomes yet another feature in Forbidden Peaks other than its extreme heights. The Empire retreats.
Everyone: Hooray!
Aribeth: ~wakes up from unsubconsiousness~ I'm ALIVE! ~quickly gunned down by Protoss119~
And so, after saying goodbye to the Star Fox team, our heroes board their Lambda shuttle, taking a few Landmasters with them. It's true, there was a casualty, but there are such things as "Acceptable Losses" if you catch my drift...
All: So what are you waiting for, Al?!
JYAP: Put the damn Star Destroyer in Forbidden Peaks!
TO BE CONTINUED...
Menice: How many times is this going to be TO BE CONTINUED?
Noob Announcer: This just in,there will be no more mini-stories!
Rain: WHAAAAAAAAT?
Heat: WHAAAAAAAAT?
Snow: WHAAAAAAAAT?
Sleet: WHAAAAAAAAT?
Hail: WHAAAAAAAT?
Noob: Yes,that's right,cause I said so! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
(2 seconds later)
Noob: This...just...in...mini-stories...still...in...production...blargh...(dies )
Protoss119
03-17-2006, 01:05 PM
Star Fox Assaulted is in the General Discussion forum of Trogworld. Go the normal route you would go to the arcade, but take the General Discussion forum route instead.
Rain and Co.: (is going on strike) WE WANT CHAPTERS! WE WANT CHAPTERS!
Protoss119
04-11-2006, 11:09 AM
Macbeth Boss: Here ya go!
Go away, stupid Star Fox boss thing.
Macbeth Boss: They're not take'n me seriously.
I said GO AWAY!
Aribeth Sprites = CANCELED. I really really REALLY want to kill Aribeth. Goddamn whiner. It's not like I'm trying to get my point across by cursing her out, but still, now I know exactly what you mean...
Chapter XIIIIIIIIIIIII: When titles attack
Having gotten their fair share of Landmasters, our heroes land at Kest Nihan's Legit (I need to visit there sometime) and start conquering for some reason.
Aribeth: Guys! What the hell are you- ~blasted~
Aarin Gend: THIS ISN'T NECESSARY!!!!!! ~pwned~
Morag: HAW! Now I will rule the- ~gunned down~
Maugrim: My queen- ~also pwned~
Maugrim's apprentice: NOOO- ~gunned down too~
Maugrim's apprentice's apprentice: How long is this gonna- ~shot~
Lizardfolk peep: So now what do we do for pay? You killed our employees.
Protoss119: Join me and together we will rule the galaxy!
Lizardfolk peep: Let's see, so how much does it pay?
Protoss119: 45 chillings an hour.
Lizardfolk peep: Outrageo- ~sees that he is about to be blasted~ Uh...pleasure doing business with you.
Meanwhile, in the Lambda Shuttle...
JYAP: This can't be happening...I can't let them do this! I gotta help the town of Port Llast! ~grabs his custom Landmaster including missile launchers, mega speed, and homing cannons that can be charged up to 7 times in one shot~
JYAP sets out to destroy his evil bretheren.
What happened to them, you ask?
Menice - Missile'd.
Highsephiroth - JYAP's tank sped right through it, leaving nothing but rubble.
Deltashadow - Was hit by 7 charged cannons in one shot.
Armageddon's Psychotic Storyteller: Ditto.
JYAP then encounters Barrey.
JYAP: Barrey! Not you, too!
Barrey: I'm only with them because the stupid author won't come up with a stupid name for the stupid ship!
JYAP: What a stupid reason.
Barrey: You're stupid!
JYAP: OK, that's it. ~missiles him to death~ Just one left, and that's Toss. He's probably searching for the Words of Power so he can rule the server.
Meanwhile, in the Creator Race ruins, Protoss119 is about to get the final word of power having blasted through the walls with his tank and thus averting all riddles.
JYAP: Not so fast, Toss!
Protoss119: JYAP! I should have known you would come seek me out.
JYAP: Hand over the Words of Power!
Protoss119: No! They're mine! YOU CAN'T HAVE THEM!
JYAP: ~shrugs, shoots him dead~
Protoss119: NOOOOOOO!!!! ~asplodes~
JYAP returns to Port Llast, it being a smoldering crater now.
JYAP: Attention, citizens of Port Llast! Your city is saved!
A cricket chirps.
Back in the Lambda Shuttle...
Protoss119: Aww! All I wanted was to take control of the entire server and gain power beyond your imagination but NOOOO! You had to come blow me up, didn't you?
Barrey: I wanted the shuttle to have a name. What the hell is wrong with that?
JYAP: Well, it seems everything's back to normal.
Deltashadow: Except for the fact that everyone except you lost their tanks and we owe HUGE reparations to Kest Drac Nihan.
JYAP: Oh hell.
Fin.
JYAP: ~comes after Toss with chainsaw~ YOU PHOOL! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO SAY TO BE CONTINUED!
Protoss119: ~while being mauled down by chainsaw~ I'm sorry!!!
TO BE CONTINUED...
Hold on,I'm actually doing something GOOD?
(dimensional rift opens,swallowing people)
Sleet: HEAT! I'M SCARED!
Hail: YOU FOOLS! YOU'VE MESSED WITH THE UNIVERSAL ORDER!
Snow: WAAAAAAAAAAH!
(1 second later)
(stick figure with a nametag above saying Rain walks by)
Rain: I'm gonna kill you Protoss...
Protoss119
05-14-2006, 09:29 AM
Whoops. XD
Chapter XXVVVIIIIIIICCT: Attack of the mutant Titles from Outer Sausage
Serind Tylner: We are entering a world of random events and game cameos. We are entering a world where players of all shapes and sizes - that's right, even giant sphere-shaped players - compete for total domination. We are entering...the Server zone. We now enter the life of an ordinary group of adventurers being thrown into a rift in time and space-
Deltashadow: ADVENTURERS?! We're not adventurers!!
Serind Tylner: I thought it was appropriate.
Deltashadow: HELL NO! We're PVP'ers, hear?!
Serind Tylner: Yeah, OK.
Our heroes' Lambda Shuttle has been thrown into a rift in time and space with no real hope for escaping for around 4 hours.
Protoss119: Great. If you hadn't of been a goody goody two-shoes and instead joined me in my ultimate quest for power, we wouldn't have ended up in here!
JYAP: If you want someone to blame, blame the bloody author.
Protoss119: The author is ME, stupid!
All: GASP!
Jeez! Will you get the hell out of my fanfic?!
All: Nobody likes you.
Is that so? Well then...hey, Fett, do you like me?
Boba Fett: Hell no!
Damn. Lord Vader, do you like me?
Darth Vader: Not really.
Your highness, do you like me?
Emperor Palpatine: u r t3h suxx0rs
DAMN!
All: See?
THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! ~throws All out of the forum~
All: Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! ~splat~
So anyway, everyone gasps and stares at Protoss119 in awe and horror.
Protoss119: Uh...oops?
JYAP: YOU made me do something good! Why you black-hearted...
JYAP leaps on Protoss119 and beats the crap out of him. Custom sprites fly everywhere.
Blue SA-X: MORE...
Menice looks out the window to see a white flying disk.
Menice: Hey, guys! What's that white flying disk over there?
The white disk magically flies into the Lambda shuttle and into Menice.
Booming Voice: MENICE IS IT
You again! You ruined my reputation last time, but never again! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!excl amationpointexclamationpointexclamationpoint ~beats the crap out of Booming Voice before throwing him out of the forum~
Booming Voice: THIIIIIIISSSSSSSSS ISSSSSNNNNNNN'TTTTT OOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!! !!!!!!!!! ~splat~
Menice: I'm it? Hooray! I'm it!
Suddenly, a Sith Lord comes after him with a lightsaber.
Menice: Uh, HELP ME GUYS!
Highsephiroth: OK, who hacked the NES Gauntlet II?
The moment Menice comes near Deltashadow, the white disk thingy passes out of Menice and into Deltashadow.
NES Gauntlet II Voice: DELTASHADOW IS IT.
Deltashadow: Oh hell! ~sliced by Sith Lord~
The white disk thingy comes out of Deltashadow's corpse but bumps into a closet door.
Meanwhile, in the closet...
JYAP: OK, it looks like we're being attacked by the it.
Protoss119: Oh no!
Menice: Oh no!
Highsephiroth: Oh no!
Kool-Aid Man: OH YEAH!!! ~realizes that he's in the middle of outer space bursting into a closet and quietly walks away while the broken wall comically repairs itself~
JYAP: To defeat the it, we have to finish the level. That would be...in this closet actually.
Protoss119: Hurry! Get in!
They all jump in the exit and are transported into the next level, which is the same Lambda shuttle, only not in that rift thingy. Our heroes come out of the closet and resume what they were doing. Meanwhile, in the dephts of Atomic Chicken...
Grand Moff Tarkin: Run while you can, phools...for I, Grand Moff Tarkin, have returned and I'm more powerful than ever! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Stormtrooper: Uh, sir, you only rule us two stormtroopers.
Grand Moff Tarkin: SHUT UP!
Stormtrooper: You think he's in denial?
Stormtrooper 2: Yeah. Wanna kill him?
Stormtrooper: Sure.
They do so.
Serind Tylner: What has just transpired here is a way of life here in this universe. It happens every single day of these people's lives. And the pity of it is...that these things cannot be confined to...the Server Zone!
Lawninja: Um, sir?
Serind Tylner: What?!
Lawninja: We're here to maul you down for betrayal.
Serind Tylner: WHAT?! Impossib- ~sliced and diced~
TO BE CONTINUED...
Rain: (has dust all over him) Damn JYAP! How come you don't play anymore? Sooner or later I'm gonna be dele-(Megaman death sound effect)
Hail: Oh joy.
Rain: (drops down Megaman style) 1-up>j00.
Heat: I can fix your computer y'know.
Sleet: You'll eat it. Then spit it out. At a noob.
Drow Dumbass: I resent that!
Snow: Back in your cell!
Protoss119
05-27-2006, 08:41 PM
More episodes!
Guy: Captain! Our shields are down!
Admiral Piett: Intensify the forward firepower! I don't want anything to get through!
~they don't do so~
Admiral Piett: Intensify the forward firepower!!!
Kamikaze Episode Pilot: AAAAAHHHH!!! ~comes hurtling into the Accuser~
Guy 2: Too late! ~ducks and covers~
~suddenly, the Accuser sidesteps the episode~
Admiral Piett: HA! You missed us!
~recolored Ridley crashes into the Accuser and it comes hurtling down into this topic~
Admiral Piett: INTENSIFY THE FORWARD- ~krash~
All: YAY! ~socked in the temples, falls unsubconsious, dies in 0.75 seconds~
Chapter CCCXXXXXXXVVVVVVVVVVVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII: Great titles of fire!
The Lambda Shuttle housing our heroes in which Barrey wants me to name-
Barrey: -_-
Well, you told me to name it.
Barrey: I expected it to be shorter.
Didn't we go through this conversation before? You don't always get what you want.
Barrey: And I told you, I never get what I want.
Who cares?
All the Imperials on the Death Star: WE DO!
~sends a Proton Torpedo through the exhaust port, blowing up the Death Star~ Now who does?
Barrey: I do! Don't make me have to-
~an anvil falls on Barrey~ Don't even think about quitting. I own you, according to this contract, section 4, paragraph 32, word 17: "it".
JYAP: Get on with it.
Darth Vader: Yeah! Get on with it!
Emperor Palpatine: Y34h! G37 0n vv17h 17! (Oh, if you're wondering what the two v's are, they're supposed to form a w)
Fine. Anyway, the Lambda Shuttle is orbiting Eternal War.
JYAP: Gear up, people. We're about to head into noob territory. Therefore, we need all the equipment we need to get our arse kicked- I mean, resist being CSed, KD spammed, Run & Gun'd, and other horrible flaws.
Protoss119: Thankfully, I managed to create a new superweapon for exactly that kind of deal.
JYAP: Superweapon? Show me this "superweapon" then.
Protoss119: I present to you, Killpeoplewhilerunningreallyfast!
A hatch in the wall of the Lambda shuttle opens to reveal a walking suit of armor with a helmet on with a flaming greatsword about the size of an elf walks out.
???: ....KAW!
JYAP: WTF?
Protoss119: Gear includes Evil Full Plate +2, Evil Military Helmet, Evil Harbringer Kin +1, Sturdy Belt, Amulet of Natural Armor +2, Cloak of Protection +2, Silent Slippers, Ring of Discipline, and Ring of Will.
The Lambda Shuttle lands in King Arthur's Court (The Arena) and deploys Killpeoplewhilerunningreallyfast.
Protoss119: Behold, the power of the Fighter/Barbarian/WM, Killpeoplewhilerunningreallyfast-
Barrey: Can't you name him something shorter?!
Protoss119: Does Crowster work?
Barrey: Guess so. What does a crow have to do with him, though?
Killpeoplewhilerunningreallyfast/Crowster: KAW!
Noob: Freeze!
Crowster: KAW!
The Crowster burninates the noob with the flaming greatsword.
Noob 2: CALL FOR REINFORCEMENTS!
Suddenly, an army of noobs comes bursting out of every entrance, exit, hallway, and bathroom. Yes, even the girls' bathroom. They all stop facing the Crowster when he does a whirlwind attack and knocks them all down with a domino effect.
Jigglypuff (Assimilated by Noobs): ~starts singing~ Jigg-a-ly ~shmacked with flaming greatsword~ BLARGH ~dies, becomes normal Jigglypuff again~
Suddenly, a gigantic noob in the shape of a Madcat battlemech stomps on ground violently until he's behind the Crowster and quietly taps him on the shoulder.
Giant Noob: YOU NO KILL NOOBS! NOOBS KILL YOU! YOU DIE NOW! ROFLMFAO!
Crowster: ...KAW!
The moment the giant noob hears that word, he collapses in a big pile of metal, blood, and pie. An awkward silence lasts for 5 seconds.
Menice: ......WICKED!
Armageddon's Psychotic Storyteller: PIE! ~eats all the pie~
JYAP: ~counting noob corpses~ 498...499...500. That's all of 'em. Ooh, sweet salvage. ~gets it all from Giant Noob's corpse~
Barrey: ...WTF just happened!?
Protoss119: Well, I believe it's time to go. C'mon, Crowster.
Crowster: KAW! ~follows the gang back into the shuttle~
Unbeknownst to our heroes, a spy sneaks aboard and the Lambda Shuttle takes off...
Deltashadow: What happened out there? Highsephiroth and I were busy playing on B.net.
Starcraft Game: YOU LOSE.
Deltashadow: Oh, bugger! ~starts new game~
Starcraft Game: YOU LOSE.
Deltashadow: Blast! ~starts new game again~
Starcraft Game: YOU LOSE. ~new game~ YOU LOSE. ~new game~ YOU LOSE. ~new game~ YOU LOSE.
Deltashadow: DAMMIT! ~shoots Starcraft Game~
Starcraft Game: YOU MISSED.
Deltashadow: GODDAMNIT!
Meanwhile...
Spy: If I move quietly enough, they'll never notice me!
Protoss119: ~spots Spy~ Hey, who are you?
Spy: I'm spy. I've been sent by the noobs to spy on you.
Protoss119: Well, welcome aboard! Would you like a tour?
Spy: Naw, I'm good.
JYAP: Toss, you idiot! Spy = Bad!
Spy: DAMMIT! He's onto me...but how did he know? He must have hacked into my secret data file!
JYAP: Dude, what are you talking about?
Spy: I dunno. But I've come to take down that superweapon of yours.
Protoss119: You'll never take Crowster down as long as there's a breath in my body.
Spy: His name's Killpeoplewhilerunningreallyfast.
Protoss119: No it isn't. It's Crowster.
Spy: No, it's Killpeoplewhilerunningreallyfast. It's right above him in big blue letters.
Crowster: KAW! ~strikes down big blue letters with flaming greatsword~
Spy: DIE!
Spy tries to fire at the Crowster with a revolver but misses.
Crowster: KAW! KAW! KAW!
Spy: DIE! ~fires, hits~
Crowster falls over on his back.
Spy: Yesss...Muahahahahahahahaha-
Crowster: KAW! ~shot again~
Protoss119: NOOOOOOOOO!!!! My superweapon!
Spy: YES! You will never survive without your precious superweapon! MUAHAHAHA-
JYAP: Ah, shaddup. ~kills Spy with Instagib rifle~
UT Voice: GODLIKE!!!
Barrey: Now what?
Protoss119: Now we wait for the next episode.
3 hours later...
TO BE CONTINUED...
Grand Moff Tarkin: WTF?! You made no mention of me! I demand to know why you didn't do that?! It's just not right! I mean, I was the brainchild of the freakin' Death Star! THE DEATH STAR, DAMMIT! I deserve to be in this- ~instagib'd~
Some Loser Imp Noob: (casts delayed blast fireball 1 inch away from Sleet as he's sneaking)
Sleet: (blows up) WTF! That's the 28th time that happened and I swear to God he does NOT have any points in Spot or Listen! I'll show you hacking...
Imp: (throws DBF near Sleet...but he blows up a cardboard Sleet) Huh?
Sleet: EAT GAUSS RIFLE PUNK! (from inside Hollander,shoots him with Gauss Rifle,tearing through him for 927 points of damage)
Hail: Dammit Sleet,that's my mech! Yours is over there!(points to rusty Commando ready to fall apart)
Bump so Toss sees he needs to update.
Protoss119
09-28-2006, 06:44 PM
Creativity Tanks at 80%. Brainstorming...
Have the party travel to B.Net.
Protoss119
12-07-2006, 01:53 PM
Brainstorming Complete.
Chapter Bob: We wish you a merry Title
Toss: Entering B.net.
Menice: B.net. You'll never find a more wretched hive of scum and evil in the galaxy.
JYAP: Can it. Anyway, Toss, let's play Soulchess-
Deltashadow: Hold it. I still need to fully train Toss in the arts of Starcraft Melee.
JYAP: Since when was he your lackey?
Deltashadow: A long time ago.
Toss: Before I met you.
Deltashadow: I was the author of Matrix D Shadow!
(It's true, he really was. Do an advanced search on starcraft.org for author Deltashadow in Use Map Settings)
JYAP: I am the author of a ton of forum games. What makes you so special?
Deltashadow: I shall duel for the right to Toss!
BATTLE
Wild Deltashadow appeared!
Go, Psion!
~Espeon cry sounds~
Enemy Deltashadow used RP!
~Psion takes 5 damage~
JYAP: C'mon. You can do better than that.
Psion used Psychic!
Enemy Deltashadow fainted!
Psion got 1337 EXP!
JYAP: Too easy.
Deltashadow: I challenge you to a game of SC.
Deltashadow chooses Terran
JYAP chooses Orc
Deltashadow: OMG HAX
~game begins~
OMG FIRELORD RUSH
Victory
Deltashadow: Okay, okay, you win!
JYAP got some phat lewt from Deltashadow!
Fin.
~Toss is chainsaw'd~
TO BE CONTINUED...
You get bonus points for use of Psion. :)
Protoss119
12-08-2006, 01:03 PM
Who cares? There aren't any taverns in SC.
There are now.
(a Firelord attacks a Terran base with the Zerg)
Marine: What the hell is that-(WHOOSH)
Firebat: Fire it up! (explodes)
Protoss119
01-14-2007, 08:09 AM
Chapter Rob: The title could not be displayed
Toss: So we're in B.net. What do you suppose we- OOH! FOOTMEN VS. GRUNTS! ~join'd~
JYAP: Dammit, Toss! I though we we're gonna play...oh screw it. ~joins~
DeltaShadow: What about me?
JYAP: Buy WCIII. Nao.
Meanwhile, in the game...
Theantichristmofo has joined the game.
Theantichristmofo: OMG TOSS UR SITE SUX GET BETTER MUSIX N00B
Toss: I'm sorry, did you just say "My site sucks?"
Theantichristmofo: OMG U NUBLETT
Nuclear Launch Detected.
Theantichristmofo: WTF HAX N00B GTFO-
KA-BLAMZOIDS
In the aftermath of the explosion, radiation sickness kills all noobs within the game...leaving just JYAP, Toss, the host, and Surveyvon who got MC'd into buying WCIII.
Surveyvon: I'm still having doubts about whether or not I should have done that.
Game starts in 5...
Game starts in 4...
Game starts in 3...
Game starts in 2...
Game starts in 1-
Toss: I LIKE CEREAL
The game starts.
Host: OK guys, choose your heroes. No Mighty Pit Lord, no Samurai Jack.
JYAP: The lich. Obviously.
Toss: I CALL DARK RANGER!
Survey: You can buy heroes? Toss, you didn't tell me about that!
JYAP: You notice we're all on the same team?
Toss: Hmm...then who's on the other team?
A bunch of noobs from Kest's server appear.
Noobulous: BONJOUR!
Noobicus: BONJOUR!
Noobman: BONJOUR!
Noobexander the Great: BONJOUR!
Toss: Alexander the Great wasn't French. <_<
JYAP: Great. The one thing worse than noobs - FRENCH noobs.
Noobman: You shall pay for that comment! ATTACK!
Several tons of footmen attack the Horde base, but find themselves getting their ass Frost Nova'd, then Black Arrow'd.
Toss: This is fun.
That is, of course, until one of them pulls out a Mighty Pit Lord. The Host can't ban them either.
Host: WTF HAX
Toss: Anything you can do, I can do better.
The Mighty Pit Lord gets charmed. The hax are still in place, right?
Anyway, they reach the enemy base...only to find that there are umteenbajillion Sky-Fury towers.
Toss: Damn!
JYAP: Anything you can do, I can do better.
JYAP builds a frillion Mega-Sky-Fury towers - specifically designed to combat noobs - and the french noobs get their asses handed back to them as the Heart of the Alliance is destroyed.
~Final Fantasy Victory theme plays~
Noobexander the Great: Le fools! They think to stop us, le great french noobs!
Toss: Change your name, dammit. He wasn't FRENCH!
Nooberman: Ha! You think to make us leave by KILLING US, don't you?
JYAP: Actually-
Nooberman: YOU WERE WRONG! We shall stay, no matter what le circumstance!
Toss: Easily solved.
They all leave.
Noobicus: THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO WORK! LE FOOLS!
Noobulous: WHY DO YOU BLAME ME! I AM NOT LE FOOL HERE!
Meanwhile...
DeltaShadow: Ah, Toss, you're back. Now, be a good boy and go play some melee with me.
Toss: Very well.
START
MUTA RUSH WTF OH NOES
FINISH
Toss: Tada.
Meanwhile in the shadows...
Boba Fett: Fett here. I've tracked the rebels here, but one of them seems to be missing.
Darth Vader: Good riddance.
Boba Fett: Wait a minute...OH THEIR GOD WHAT IS THAT-
TO BE CONTINUED...
Protoss119
01-14-2007, 08:15 AM
Frickin' edit limit...the green text is supposed to be grey. I'm gonna get Al for this...
Protoss119
04-27-2007, 01:49 PM
Chapter Glob: RHEORHEROHDOPHKDFLHSHOPWSRHOETJEORHJORL
Title by Jubilex, Demon Prince of Slime. Body by...something that's not milk.
Darth Vader: I'm getting tired of this. Deploy the Pit Fiend.
A box falls into a remote part of Battle.net and bursts, revealing a smoking Pit Fiend...
Meanwhile...
Aribeth: There you are! I don't know where you've been, but you had me-
All: AAAAH!
JYAP pulls a stake-firing crossbow and opens fire upon Aribeth until he's out.
Toss: I thought that only slays vampires.
Aribeth explodes in a million tiny shards.
JYAP: It also slays emo NPCs.
The millions of shards suddenly turn red and form up a stranger.
???: AAAH!
Toss: AHH!
Pillsbury Doughboy: AAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh....?
JYAP: So who's this feller?
???: M A R A T H O N
Toss: Just Kiith-Somtaaw.
Kiith: Heya.
Toss: So, Aribeth's finally gone forever?
JYAP: I wouldn't count her out. She'll be back.
Menice: What do we have to do?
Toss: OMG MENICE! J00 R BACK!
JYAP: We have to go to her coffin and-
Toss is teleported into a foreboding chamber.
Toss: What the hell...where the hell am I?!
A Pit Fiend appears in a big ball of flame.
Pit Fiend: BOW BEFORE THE DUKE OF HELL!
Toss: Can I help you?
Pit Fiend: Yes, you can. I am Rasovah.
Toss: Well, Blablabla, what can I do ya for?
Rasovah: It's Rasovah.
Toss: Whatever.
Rasovah: I require that one of these people be eliminated.
Toss: It's JYAP, isn't it?
Rasovah: Dammit, you're good.
Toss: NO, DAMMIT! I'M EVIL! EEEEVVVIIIILLLL!
Rasovah: Prove it. If you take the blue lolipop, you wake up in your bed and you believe whatever you want to believe. If you take the red lolipop, you stay in wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.
Toss: I can explore the rabbit hole myself.
Rasovah: Gah, forget it. Just sign this contract.
Toss: What does it do?
Rasovah: In exchange for your immortal soul, you get a lifetime supply of Reesee cups.
Toss: SOLD!
Toss signs the contract and Rasovah laughs evilly.
Toss and Rasovah soon meet up with JYAP, Rasovah polymorphed as a human.
JYAP: Where have you been, Toss? Who's this noob?
Rasovah: Noob? Noob?
Toss: Oh. I got teleported into this room and I signed a contract with Blablabla...
Rasovah: IT'S RASOVAH! GET IT RIGHT!
JYAP: Die.
JYAP riddles the Pit Fiend with stakes, killing it automatically.
Toss: Wow. Stakes can kill everything.
JYAP. Yep. :naughty:
TO BE CONTINUED
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