I am now taking over this pub.

[JYAP]

AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU FOOLS CAN DO! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! :devil: :devil: :devil: :devil: :devil: :devil: :devil: :devil: :devil: :devil:

</random insanity>

[Halfwingseen]

*stops takeover* ( what you expected a dramatic plot no i just stop it period thats how good I am dont liek it? too bad! )

[JYAP]

(Halfwingseen is smitten)
(resumes takeover)

[Almuric]

Does this mean half price drinks? :whisky:

[Halfwingseen]

( smiten? hm doubt it *summons in his charactors all aligned against JYAP ( has been playing since NWN came out i have 10k ++ charactors and around 1000ish lvl 40's most mages ) stop there JYAP

[JYAP]

(a Awesome armed with 4 Clan ER PPCs falls on most of halfwing's minions,and fires upon the rest. Reflex save for praying to God you don't go to hell is allowed.)
No,this means QUADRUPLE PRICED DRINKS WITH 10x THE TAX! BWAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAA!

[Halfwingseen]

*logs on as dm, smites takes Pub over and puts free drinks sign up*

[JYAP]

(as Halfwing tries to log on as a DM,he triggers a trap)
(reflex save or die)
(DC 999)
(Halfwing's save:5)
(20s are disabled)

[Almuric]

Your Awesome is no match for my Thor!!

[Halfwingseen]

*gets an atlas with maximum amounts of flamers fires at once causing explosion of awesome*

[JYAP]

Too bad my Awesome backed up.
(fires all 4 PPCs upon both of you guys' cockpits,instantly destroying your mech plus snagging some sweet salvage)

[Halfwingseen]

*flies in 2000 elementals who swram yoru awesome form all sides planting thousands of mines on it then detonates them*

[JYAP]

(Awesome self-destructs as all elementals close in,killing them all)
(next Awesome is deployed)

[Almuric]

*Declares Pub as his own with the incredible power that is the forums ADMIN*

Now go spam somewhere else. :P

[JYAP]

(Almuric is swallowed by Kirby before he can do anything)
(Kirby is sucked into an alternate dimension before he utilizes his new power)
I never lose insanity battles. Ever.

[WNxGoRule]

(opens the pub doors)

wow you guys are really goin at it!

(descides eh what the hell... and reaches for his never ending bag of noobs)

(starts throwing noobs at everyone else)

oh and they are explosive, anti-kirby noobs too!!!

(blows up JYAP, Halfwing, all the kirbys, looks around for al to blow him up but he not there)

Everyone is dead! :eek:

The pub is all mine...

(and before anyone can rebuddle GoRule drinks all the pubs alcohol!!!) :moon: :beer: :whisky: :beer: :whisky: :beer: :whisky: :beer: :whisky: :beer: :whisky: :woot:

[JYAP]

(GoRule is intercepted by my OTHER army of minions-the Shy Guys!)
(GoRule is used as a ball for each Shy Guy to practice hitting home runs on)
(bag of noobs falls into Eternal War)

[WNxGoRule]

(as GoRule is used as a home run practice ball the shy guys didnt realize how much he just had to drink and on that first hit he hurls on every shy guy in site along with jyap)

(the shy guys along with jyap start to get sick them selves and start to hurl so much they eventually puke their actual brains out *plop... plop... plop... plop... plop... plop... plop... plop... plop... plop... plop... plop... plop... plop... plop... plop... plop... plop... plop... plop... splat... splat... splat... splat... splat... splat... splat... splat... splat... splat... splat... splat... splat... splat... splat... splat... splat... splat... splat... * and with that nasty victory gorule continues his quest to fill his stomache with alcohol yet again since it was now all over the shyguys and jyap)

the end.... or is it

[JYAP]

(unfortunately,the puke made the Shy Guys' masks fall off,revealing...oh,you don't wanna know that)
(suffice it is to say gorule dies of shock)
(as for me,I was mimicing Felonious' Infinite Projectile Deflection)

[Halfwingseen]

*ducks from noobs and ummmmmmm as you two run away locks the doors and takes over*

[WNxGoRule]

(GoRule's evil twin 200 lb midget sumo wrestling brother enters the pub from the back door that was apparently left open)

ME WANT FOOD!!!

(as he comes out from the shadows to reveal his face you notice his extremley large mouth and nose but he has no Eyes!!!)

MEEEE WAAANNNTTT FOOODDD!!!

(he leapad to halfwing and swallows him whole ((the acids in his mouth decay through any type of barrier magic or not and halfwing is killed)

(as the front door of the pub is bashed down by the unmasked shy-guys and JYAP they look at this Fat! midget! sumo wrestler! and try to shock him to death with their (unspeakable horrid) faces ...BUT HE HAS NO EYES TO SEE THEM)

(the evil twin smells them coming toward him and starts to leap towards them to eat them as well)

wen all of a sudden....

THE ULTIMATE EVIL LAND OTTER APPEARS IN THE MIDDLE!!!

with one touch he turns the evil twin into ashes!!!

and then he turns towards JYAP and the shy-guys

his nose twitches and they all turn into pez candy in which he places in his pez dispencer and starts to eat them then he is gone just like that

the end .....or is it (evil badger eyes start to glow red as the scene fades to black)


GoRule: wait wait wait This S*** Fn Sux....
(gorule fades the scene back in kiks the badger in the nutz and in return the badger spits out the pez and JYAP and his shy-guys turn back to normal ... then sifts through his evil twins ashes and finds a tag "just ad water" so he takes a leak on the ashes and then "POOF" his evil twin comes back...)

GoRule: He Dildo head spit out halfwing NOW or ill beat you down with the spatula again!!!!

Evil Twin: Grrrrrrrr

(gets beat up side the head with a spatula)

(evil twin spits out halfwing)

GoRule:ok now that we got all that S*** taken care of lets all have a drink ....


(hours and hours of non stop drink go on and on and on and on... well you get the picture... they pretty much get really Fn retarded from all the booze)

Halfwing: (Heegup) HeY! Guuyss! aRE WEe FOR..For....ForgEttin sooo....

(BAM halfwing hits the bar floor passed out!)

JYAP: OOohhh yeaaHH!! HAHAHAHA we fErgEt to geT AL bAk

GoRule: Oooopsh!!! Bwahahaha!!

(cuts to scene of a finger pushing a red button ...)

(AL sitting at his computer watching the drunken monkeys laughing .....then)


POP POP!!!!!!!!!!!! both their head blow up and AL wins the pub!!!!!

the end

[JYAP]

That's why I have a permanent Aura from Evil and Good on me. As thus,I am immune to any attacks evil twins or otters can do. Anyhoo...
(Yoshi swallows gorule,poops him out off the cliff as a egg)
Besides,if that fails...

Grammar Nazis:DIE YOU HEATHEN!(BANGBANGBANGBANGBANG)

God,that made my eyes bleed.

Oh,I forgot Halfwing!
(sends a Hunter Killer probe after him)
No more Halfwing.

(BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM)

[WNxGoRule]

As gorule is falling he realizes he is to Stupid to Die thus just bouncing off the ground at the bottom of the cliff and landing back on yoshi... he wispers something sooo very evil and twisted that it instantly makes yoshi his slave forever!!! yoshi then takes off towards jyap...

jyap of course already noticed yoshi running towards him in a totally dark and evil rage, and thus just turned around and put out his arm grabed yoshi by the tongue and rips out his insides..


during this totally disgusting display of organ dissembowlment GoRule shoots jyap center mass with his anti-jyap ray :insta: and not only was it an anti jyap ray but it was modified to remove the keys from his RL keyboard (Gorule gets up runs to Jyaps place and steals his keyboard)

Moohahahaha!!!

[Halfwingseen]

*punches gorule* okay imdone *leaves pub*

[WNxGoRule]

:-( that hurt >.< lol...

hey you guys gunna be gamin tonight? like around 11 EST

[JYAP]

Why else did I deploy the Grammar Nazis to shoot you and your computer dead?
(sends 5 more Hunter Killer probes after Halfwing)

[Halfwingseen]

sadly gorule i wont be just got off of my suspension and have school 2morrow *is far enough away that hunter drones get confsed and seek some blood i left on gorule*

[JYAP]

(Halfwing is crushed by a giant unabridged dictionary, thesaurus, and atlas all in one)
(places Yoshis,Shy Guys,Kirbies, and Grammar Nazis around the pub armed with their preferred weapons to defend it)

[WNxGoRule]

sneaks behind JYAP attatches a 50 gallon barrel full of C4 to his ass and attatches an egg timer set for 10 seconds to the C4 *RUNS LIKE HELL*

(as the explosives blow up, everyone and thing within a 10 block radius is well.... blown to SH**!!!! and of course gorule doesnt make it out of range in time but only an idiot would set a 10 second timer to that much C4!!!)

[JYAP]

(sadly, gorule was attacked and gobbled by a hungry Purple Yoshi)

[JYAP]

This pub is now MINE! BWAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

[JYAP]

Well,get on with it. I demand a rename to JYAP's Pub of DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

[JYAP]

Elaborate as to how this is not JYAP's Pub. I killed/beat/pwned everyone else here,I WANT IT RENAMED!

(quickly blows off everyone else's head before he gets opposition)

[Protoss119]

I-

~head blasted off before he can say anything~

Heeheeheehee. That was cool...

[JYAP]

Waiting...fools...

[Protoss119]

Well- ~head blasted off again~

Ever wonder how I get so many heads?

~head respawns and is blasted off, then it respawns and blasted off again, and so on and so on~

[Felonious Monk]

It can't be renamed unless I say so, and you haven't given me good enough reason to allow it. Dance for me, monkey-boy.

[JYAP]

(blows up Monkey with a well-placed mortar)
Reason enough?

[Felonious Monk]

*deflects mortar*

No! I said dance!

[JYAP]

(mortar explodes on deflection)
(shoots up corpse with minigun to be sure)
(makes sure monk gets NO reflex save whatsoever)

[Felonious Monk]

*Improved Evasion negates mortar damage*
*deflects bullets back at JYAP*

[JYAP]

(pulls rulebook out of nowhere)
(shows you can't evade a blast 1mm in front of you)
(deflects bullets back,but misses and shoots up everyone else)
(settles for making Monk drunk,destroying his reflex save)
(then beats him with a spiked warhammer till he croaks)

[Felonious Monk]

Your rules-fu is weak.



INFINITE DEFLECTION [EPIC]

Prerequisites: Dex 25, Combat Reflexes, Deflect Arrows, Improved Unarmed Strike.

Benefit: The character may perform any number of deflections each round, as the Deflect Arrows feat.




EXCEPTIONAL DEFLECTION [EPIC]

Prerequisites: Dex 21, Wis 19, Deflect Arrows, Improved Unarmed Strike.

Benefit: The character can deflect any ranged attacks (including spells that require ranged touch attacks) as if they were arrows.


*Diamond Body prevents intoxication*
*feels nothing as the warhammer can't pierce inherent DR*
*barfs on JYAP*
*kicks JYAP in jewel bag*
*shoves warhammer up JYAP's nostril*
*tapes entire thing for submission to AFHV*

[JYAP]

(clone explodes)
(Monk dies,no save)
(burns tape)
(IF Monk comes back,nerfs his Dex to 3)

[Felonious Monk]

*reincarnated as overdeity, divine rank ∞*
*uses Life and Death salient divine ability on JYAP*
*JYAP can never be resurrected or restored by any means*

Game, set, match.

[Protoss119]

Ooookay...well, later Felonious.

~pushes him off a cloud where he falls to his doom~

ggnore

[Felonious Monk]

Maybe you missed that whole "overdiety" thing. I have no need for your petty clouds. Besides, I can fly with perfect manueverability.

*Divine Splendor kills Protoss119 for simply being in my presence, no save*

[Protoss119]

~before being stricken with Divine Splendor, Toss pulls out a remote and changes the channel to Cartoon Network where he promptly wreaks havok on all the Cartoon Network characters except for the cast of Ed, Edd, 'n Eddy, the Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy, the Cartoon Cartoon show, and Foster's home for Imaginary Friends~

Dude, you are NOT a god.

Put the healing miracle down.

Back away from your cute cuddly animal.

Black & White geek.

(JK)

[JYAP]

I'm still alive Wise One.
(undoes effect)
(sends in a heretic Kirby to swallow you)
(being a heretic, Kirby is immune to Divine Splendor)
(Kirby explodes after digesting you)

[Felonious Monk]

Cartoon Network?

*emerges from Kirby unharmed*

Like a pink marshmallow could do anything even if I hadn't attained a state of existence beyond your comprehension.

*boots Protoss back into Kids WB*
*consigns JYAP to the pit of neverending Mimi, where all songs are by Mariah Carey, the only movie is Glitter, and the only means of escape is to watch every episode of every season of Real World... twice*

[JYAP]

(casts Haste on the TV playing Real World 99 times as well as the satellite just in case)
(when returned,calls Olcadan to fight Monk)
(since Olcadan,from Soul Calibur III,has NEVER lost a fight,Monk has no chance)
(simply because no matter what status you're in,when fighting a SCIII char,you automatically enter a SCIII battle)
(plus,Olcadan's AI is set to the highest level possible)

[Protoss119]

~shrugs, just switches the channel back to Cartoon Network again~

[JYAP]

(does a very hostile takeover of Cartoon Network)
(it involves something along the lines of a Counterstrike game in action,except it's Rain and Co. VS The staff of CN)
(various crud happens such as 13 consecutive headshots in a row,an idiot pulling a John Kerry and wounding himself with his grenade launcher,and a reenactment of the Burly Brawl by Rain)
(yes,it was pwnsauce)
(the others run out of ammo,which leaves Rain to go up against the manager,with his anime bodyguards)
(Rain draws razor,shaves the fools,who die instantly,then smites the manager)
(new show is played showing what just happened,only in much extensive detail)
(and Monk is warped into the show and killed at least twice every episode)

[Protoss119]

Rotlflolmfao!!!!!

Goddamn it, they won't let me type in all caps.

[Felonious Monk]

*starts mashing buttons*
*pwns Olcadan*
*hops over to Cinemax, vegetates for a while*

*Protoss gets smacked down by the filter*

[JYAP]

Mashing buttons? What do you think this is,SCII?
(Olcadan pwns Monk with a Perfect and 29 Guard Impacts)

[Protoss119]

~the filter is no match for the power of the dark side of the force, a.k.a. starts using force lightning to zap through filter after filter after filter~

[JYAP]

Yay! The pub is mine!
(throws Protoss out)
NO FREAKS ALLOWED! (JK)

[Felonious Monk]

*kicks Olcadan's ass... again*
*ejects JYAP from Rune's Pub*

[JYAP]

(Monkey's button-mashing only gets him schooled...3761 times in a row)
I see no Rune. Do you?

[Felonious Monk]

*kills Olcadan 3762 more times*

He doesn't have to be present to maintain ownership.

[JYAP]

(Olcadon STILL doesn't lose)
(thus,Monkey is owned 3762 more times)
(Olcadon gets bored and calls in Night Terror to fight for him)
(and Night Terror is one mean *****)

[Protoss119]

~grabs custom Arwing, complete with 2 rapid-firing UT GOYTE Shock Rifles which gun down Felonious~

[Felonious Monk]

*kills Night Terror too, then makes references to Olcadan's mother being a very large lady of the evening*

*deflects Arwing blasts towards Flippy*

[Protoss119]

coughcoughit'sSlippycoughcough

~nova-bombs a point near Felonious with the splash damage killing him~

[Felonious Monk]

*evades splash damage*
*fires EMP cannon at Protoss' Arwing*

[JYAP]

(drops giant unabridged dictionary/thesaurus/atlas on Monk)
(wins)
(sets him up the bomb and warps him in space JUST to be sure)
(has him hit by a comet and thrown into the sun to be incredibly sure)
(and destroys all means of Monk ressurrecting)

[Protoss119]

~all systems shut down and Toss goes tumbling...into Felonious's throat and gets caught in there, unable to escape~

[Felonious Monk]

*absorbs unabridged dictionary/thesaurus/atlas... again*
*douses sun with might stream of justice*
*spits Protoss out at JYAP*
*douses JYAP and Protoss with mighty stream of justice*
*shakes twice*

[Protoss119]

Err, no. What I meant was, I'm caught in your throat and I'm unintentionally cutting off air. A.K.A. I'm choking you.

[JYAP]

(the absorbed information causes Monkey to explode,firing bolts of words everywhere)

[Felonious Monk]

And what I meant was, I cough you up at JYAP and then take a splendorous whiz on the lot of you after extinguishing the sun.

*the complexity of the words causes Protoss and JYAP's brains to explode*
*Monk reassembles over their corpses, then kicks them repeatedly just for fun*

[JYAP]

I have no brain,I'm undead!
(quickly flees this dimension)
(Why? Because reality is now compromised and the zombie clown has been engaged)
(long story short: Clown kills everyone,then dances to the chicken dance)
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/226896
Go there to see what I mean.

[Protoss119]

Two words: I'm smart. ~has just been saved from a major brain asplosion as he can understand whatever the heck the words mean~

~throws Felonious into a Tetris game, rotates him like a block, and then uses another block to trap him in between all the other blocks~

Hint: It's very cramped inside the blocks.

[JYAP]

(pretty hard to do anything relating to Tetris when there's a evil zombie clown murdering you brutally)
(BTW,he's immortal)
(watch the movie and you'll see what I mean)

[Felonious Monk]

*beats the final level of Tetris, then proceeds to punt the zombie clown into the outer reaches of space*

[Protoss119]

A. Your trapped in between Tetris blocks.

B. I'm playing the game.

~doesn't get any unnecessary lines that might set Felonious free~

[Felonious Monk]

*in that case, manipulates blocks causing Protoss to lose, all while the zombie clown munches on his brains*

[JYAP]

(the clown,after brutally slaying Toss,kills Monkey)

[Protoss119]

-_-

~crushes Felonious under the weight of a thousand blocks~

[JYAP]

(since both Toss and Monkey are dead,establishes dictatorship in place of pub)

[Felonious Monk]

*overthrows JYAP, then leaves for a week to visit in-laws*

[JYAP]

(wonders how Monkey can overthrow me while dead)
(oh,it's impossible to kill the zombie clown)
(see the movie to see why)

[Protoss119]

~that, however doesn't keep him from reviving himself somehow, immobilizing the zombie clown and drawing pretty faces on him~

[JYAP]

(drawing on clown kills him)
Good Lord Toss...what have you DONE?!?
(warps away)
Unseen Voice: OMFG! YOU DON'T KILL CLOWN! CLOWN KILLS YOU!
(clown revives,bludgeons Toss to death with his own head,then dances to the Chicken Dance,while the words CLOWN KILLS YOU! stay on screen)

[Protoss119]

~dodges the attack, takes the words "CLOWN KILLS YOU!" and shoves it down the clown's throat~

[JYAP]

(the words OMFG! YOU DON'T KILL CLOWN! CLOWN KILLS YOU! reappear)
(Clown is revived,stabs Toss with stop sign,then bludgeons him to a bloody pulp)

[Protoss119]

~parries with Yield sign~

~draws paint gun, fires at Zombie Clown painting a bunch of smilie faces on it~

ggnore

[JYAP]

(Clown respawns)
(961751 tries later, Toss dies)

[Protoss119]

~the 961,752nd time, Toss throws a random person in front of him~

~the person is shmacked by whatever the Zombie Clown is using and becomes Toss's shield~

~covered by the shield, Toss fires paint gun all over the Zombie Clown, somehow painting the Mona Lisa on him in the process~

[JYAP]

(reality is already compromised)
(Toss becomes a Madness character)
(which is bad,because if you're not Hank,Jesus,Clown,or the Sheriff,you're ****ed)
(so yeah,Toss dies brutally)

[Protoss119]

~respawns as Darth Vader w/ blue lightsaber (as seen in sig) and slices Clown into itty bitty pieces~

Ph33r t3h 1337 p0w3r 0f t3h spr1t3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111one!!!!!!!1111111 1111shift+1

[JYAP]

(YOU DON'T KILL CLOWN)
(CLOWN KILLS YOU)
(GET THAT THROUGH YOUR ALIEN SKULL)
No really,Clown>All. Yes,Clown>Al.

[Protoss119]

I'm rebellious. So sue me.

~kills clown one more time~

This is fun...

[JYAP]

(Clown whips out Particle Eraser,erases Toss)

[Protoss119]

~at the last second, compromises Sci-Fi and puts Slippy in place of himself, causing Slippy to be erased~

Well, that solves one problem...

[JYAP]

(it homes fool)
(Slippy was already gone anyways)

[Felonious Monk]

*dominates clown via Control Undead*
*clown kills JYAP and defiles his corpse with a glitter pen... a pink glitter pen*

[JYAP]

(the clown cannot be controlled in any manner whatsoever)
(clown erases Monkey as well)

[Protoss119]

~slices Eraser into little itty bits with blue lightsaber~

[Felonious Monk]

*clown erases JYAP*
*Monk redraws himself*

[JYAP]

(was out of dimension already)

[Protoss119]

Well, at least the pub is mine, then.

~calls the League of Custom Sprites to help overthrow Felonious Monk~

Grey Samus: All suits report!

Red Samus: Ready!

Blue Samus: Let's kick some ***!

Green Samus: Awaiting Command.

Purple Samus: Gimme something to shoot, already!

Grey Samus: OK! ATTACK!

~all the Samuses attack Felonious with missiles and super missiles~

~bugs infinite deflection~

[JYAP]

The pub is still mine.
(clown enters dimension I was in)
(quickly returns to this dimension)
(draws katana,slices everyone inside MY pub in two)

[Protoss119]

I was gonna give you a major discount but NOOOO, you had to slice me into itty bitty pieces, didn't you?

~the Grey Samus shoots the katana out of JYAP's hand with his power beam~

~yes, it's a he and not a she since it's not the actual Samus~

[JYAP]

O RLY?
(draws his own arm cannon)
(Wavebusters Grey into submission)
Next!

[Felonious Monk]

*summons the real Samus into the pub, makes her a proxy (bestowing upon her a Divine Rank of 1), and then dominates her with Control Creatures*
*carnage ensues*

[JYAP]

(still Wavebusters the real Samus into submission)

[Protoss119]

~somehow deprives JYAP of missiles, thus rendering him unable to use the Wavebuster~

~Grey is down, but not out, and he gets up and fires the Plasma beam at the actual Samus, with the rest of the team bombarding her with Super Missiles~

[JYAP]

Damn you.
(slams cannon into Toss,then retrieves his stolen missiles)
(Flamethrowers Grey instead of Wavebustering him)
(then pulls out gatling gun and tears through Green)

[Protoss119]

~suddenly, three Corellian Gunships come out of Hyperspace and beat the hell out of JYAP with their many missiles~

~Grey is charred and his armor is darker now~

Grey: YOU MADE ME BLACK! DIE!!!

~Grey tackles JYAP and beats the crap out of him~

[Felonious Monk]

*eats popcorn while viewing the battle from a remote, undisclosed location*
*presses Big Red Button*
*Death Star annihilates the planet the sprites are on, destroying everyone*
*planetary fragments breach the hulls of the Corellian Gunships, causing explosive decompression*

[JYAP]

(looks at all the missiles coming at him)
(places a homing beacon on Grey and runs)
(Grey is blown away)

[Protoss119]

~at the last second compromises cheese, placing Peppy in place of him and placing himself in a Mon Calamari Cruiser along with 50 Corellian Gunships preparing to attack the Death Star from behind where the superlaser can't get them~

~the fleet comes out of hyperspace and the gunships attack with their many missiles~

~according to Star Wars: Empire at War, missiles can pierce shields and the sheer number of them should be able to do some damage despite the heavy armor on the Death Star~

[Felonious Monk]

*Death Star explodes, destroying Toss and his fleet*

[JYAP]

How handy.
(reclaims pub after disposing remaining Samuses)

[Protoss119]

~the fleet jumped to hyperspace the moment the Death Star exploded, so he is safe~

[Felonious Monk]

*returns from undisclosed location*
*kicks JYAP in the shin really hard and claims the pub as his own*

[JYAP]

(throws Monkey in Halfwing's new WC map)
(Monkey is one of the mechanical slaves a tester just commanded to attack a giant)
(the slave has 1 HP)
(meanwhile,out of nowhere,Kirbies come and destroy Toss's fleet with assorted weapons)

[Protoss119]

DAMMIT!

~the few missiles spewn from the Corellian Gunships that hit the Kirbies incinerate them~

~meanwhile, Corellian Corvettes, armed with anti-fighter guns, easily shoot down swarms of Kirbies~

[Felonious Monk]

*swaps places with JYAP*
*a swarm of Xritra suicide ships appear behind Toss' fleet and destroy everything in a massive explosion*

[Protoss119]

~jumps to hyperspace at the last second~

~has installed an Ion Cannon on Rune's pub~

~If the Ion Cannon fires, whatever it hits will be disabled~

~meanwhile, reinforcements of 30 Corellian Corvettes, 30 Corellian Gunships, and 2 Mon Calamari Cruisers replace his ravaged fleet destroyed by the suicide ships~

There's no law saying the Rebel Alliance can't have big fleets like these, either. And even if there was, the Rebels would just break it anyway.

[JYAP]

(reswaps places just as the giant hits)
(fires Ion Cannon at Toss's fleet)
(then calls for a Slippystrike)
(1000 Slippys charge towards Toss's fleet and tear it apart)

[Protoss119]

~diverts all power to engines, barely escaping the Ion Cannon~

~takes control of a Hypervelocity gun, firing it at the Slippys~

~one hits and the splash damage kills all the Slippys~

~maintains orbital position over Rune's Pub, ruling by fear of his massive fleet~

[Felonious Monk]

*giant misses*
*swaps the giant with JYAP, kicks JYAP really hard*
*swaps places with giant*
*bomb hidden on Toss' ship explodes, sending him carreening through space along with the shattered remnants of his vessel*
*fires Ion Cannon at thread*

[Protoss119]

~switches places with hapless crewman aboard a Corellian Gunship which he nominates as his flagship~

~thread is disabled while Toss and his fleet still rules the pub by ph33r~

[JYAP]

(according to Warcraft,you can't miss unless you're either cursed or the opponent has evasion)
(Monk still gets pwned)
(Rain is teleported onto Toss's ship and starts kicking butt)
(did I mention he's packing 40 levels and one hell of a scythe?)

[Protoss119]

~switches places with yet another hapless crewman aboard another ship, putting two elite rebel marines onto his ship which beat the crap out of Rain~

~continues to rule the pub by ph33r~

[JYAP]

(Rain: Immune to getting the crap beaten out of him)
(Rain smite the two marines,then warps to Toss and decapitates him before he does anything)

[Protoss119]

~0.0000000000000001 seconds before Rain arrives, Toss teleports to the ground with an elite squad of rebels which capture the pub~

Terrorist:JIHAD! ~shoots Rain's immunities and stuff, destroying them~

~the ship that Rain is on self-destructs, killing Rain~

I win.

[Felonious Monk]

*Toss teleports next to the giant and the bloody pulp that is JYAP's remains*
*giant makes Toss go squish*

[Protoss119]

~teleports Slippy in place of himself, coming back home to the pub~

~the fleet shoots the crap out of the Giant as Toss ordered them to fire at the eyes and blow them up~

Protoss119- 2 Felonious Monk- 0

[Felonious Monk]

Pfft. Like you could hold a candle to my Greatness. That's right, capital 'G'.

*turns Toss' fleet into drunken, belligerent frat boys, who overrun the pub and dole out atomic wedgies to everyone in it of Sophomore rank or lower*

[Protoss119]

~throws shield in the way of Felonious's spell thingy~

~burns capital G with candle~

HAR! That's three. Even if you did turn my fleet into frat boys, I'd just bring in another. And another. And another. And another.

Protoss119- 3 Felonious Monk- 0

[JYAP]

(Rain respawns on the fleet generator,rather pissed off)
(the generator asplodes)
(Toss's entire fleet of fleets defects and blows up Toss and Monk)

[Felonious Monk]

*shield turns into a belligerent frat boy and beats up Toss for his lunch money*
*swaps numbers*

Protoss119- 0 Felonious Monk- 3

*trying to figure out how to use the word 'fleet' causes JYAP to have a catastrophic brain aneurysm, killing him instantly*

[JYAP]

(me trying to figure out how to use the word fleet killed Monk)

[Protoss119]

~me trying to figure out how the Frat Boys served me for eternity kills both JYAP and Monk~

Protoss119- 4 Felonious Monk- 0 JYAP- 1337

[Felonious Monk]

*is immune to mind and death effects*
*the internet community attacks Toss for daring to use the dark language, even in a facetious manner*
*they likewise kill the Darth Vader in Toss' sig, only they enjoy it more because he actually means it*
*JYAP... is still dead until further notice*

[Protoss119]

How DARE you!

~defects to the Empire, sends millions of Stormtroopers to kill off the internet community and he personally captures and tortures Felonious Monk~

EDIT: 500th Post!

[Felonious Monk]

*Rebels defeat Empire, Monk escapes to start a business where people can shoot ewoks out of a cannon into space... for a price*
*runs out of ewoks, resorts to dumping salt on gungans*

[Protoss119]

~as Felonious never mentioned HOW the rebels defeated the Empire, the Empire comes back, landing the 501st legion as well as Hell's Hammers to mow down the Rebels~

~captures Felonious and puts him into an inescapable/indestructable Iron Maiden, complete with Gravity Well Generator immune to Monk's powers to keep Monk from teleporting out~

I win.

[Felonious Monk]

*clone explodes, throwing shrapnel and spikes into Toss*
*Gravity Well Generator is unharmed and sucks Toss into it*
*shrapnel and spikes get sucked in too, poking more holes in Toss*
*the impact causes the Gravity Well Generator to malfunction, forming a small black hole out of the generator, scrap metal, and Toss' corpse*
*the intense gravity of the black hole prevents anything within its Schwarzschild radius from escaping*

[Protoss119]

Felonious Monk, you misunderstood how a Gravity Well Generator works. It keeps anything from warping into Hyperspace. Of course, I have altered it to keep anything from moving magically, etc. meaning you can only move physically which you cannot do since you are stuck in an Iron Maiden. Enjoy pain and suffering now.

~this causes Felonious's head to explode in a bloody mess as well as all of his clones~

~it also causes a tear in time and space that sucks up all opposition, including Monk and JYAP~

~rules the Pub through fear~

I win.

[Felonious Monk]

And you, Protoss119, misunderstand what a gravity well is. A gravity well (even a simulated one) is a time-space distortion typically caused by a massive body such as a planet or star. Any gravity well has an intrinsic escape velocity determined by an imaginary term known as its "depth". An object propelled outward from the source of a gravity well at a velocity below that required to escape its gravitational pull is sucked back in. I stand by my post. You are now part of a small black hole with no chance of ever escaping, even if you somehow survived.

I win.

[Protoss119]

You know what? Screw this.

~escapes, relentlessly resisting Monk's theory and destroying it, sending him into, oddly, the pub~

~Imperial Star Destroyers circle the pub and destroy it~

I win. Everyone else loses.

[JYAP]

Wow. This went downhill.
(with pub gone,Toss's fleet disperses)
(my Reincarnation skill got bugged and triggered a half hour later)
(reconstructs pub)
(officially making pub mine)
GG NO RE
(Monk asplodes at the sound of those words and loses all skills restoring him)
(Zerg Rushes Monk's remaining assets just to be sure)

[Protoss119]

...We could relax, and begin the task of maintaining an Empire rather than building one. -Random 501st member

~convinced that Monk's evil was abolished, sends the fleet to orbit the pub and give JYAP cover~

[Felonious Monk]

*becomes one with the pub*

We are pub. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.

*absorbs JYAP then begins attacking Toss' fleet*

[JYAP]

I'm undead you nitwit.
(is immune to assimilation)
(instead,Monk is forced out into a random sheep)

[Protoss119]

Stormtrooper: It's Monk himself! Get him!

~Imperial Star Destroyers pound the hell out of Monk followed by the march of a thousand AT-STs trampling him resulting in his death~

[Felonious Monk]

*being forced out of the pub rips it in twain, destroying everything nearby in a ginormous cataclysm*
*watches with interest from the Far Realm*

[Protoss119]

Well damn.

~builds Pub v. 1.03 and waits quietly for JYAP to take the throne~

[JYAP]

(takes throne)
(meanwhile,Monk is catapulted into a DoTA game against Halfwingseen)
(he's dead,Jim)

[Felonious Monk]

*brings the madness of the Elder Gods with me, driving everything on this plane to insanity*

[JYAP]

(God sees the Elder Gods trying to invade his world)
(smites the crap out of them)

[Protoss119]

~Emperor Palpatine orders the Death Star to fire at one of the Elder Gods, permanently eliminating him~

~Boba Fett assassinates another Elder God, permanently eliminating him as well~

~the rest, of course, are smote by God himself~

[Felonious Monk]

The Elder Gods stayed home, only the rampant, incurable insanity made the trip.

*Emperor Palpatine and Boba Fett are driven to lunacy, decimating civilizations while on their madness bender*

[Protoss119]

~Emperor Palpatine dies due to insanity~

~With Emperor Palpatine dead, takes control of the Empire as the next emperor~

Boba Fett: Immune to insanity. (the kind of insanity that would make you get sent to an insane asylum)

[JYAP]

(still has dominion over pub)
(tears off Boba's head)

[Protoss119]

~sews Boba's head back on~

~Boba Fett assassinates Satan~

[Felonious Monk]

*Satan ends up back in hell (where else is he going to go? Detroit?)*
*Boba Fett turns gun on himself and joins Satan shortly thereafter*

[JYAP]

(still here)
(goes off to play WCIII)
(you really should play WCIII. My username there is JYAP. Go figure.)

[Protoss119]

~one catch - Satan is sent to Detroit, only caged in an inescapable cell in which nothing can pass through - get that? NOTHING!!!!!!!!!exclamationpoint1111111111one!!!!! !!!!!1111111111111~

[Felonious Monk]

*Satan wishes he was in hell*
*assumes control of pub since JYAP left to play freakin Warcraft*
*remembers he's going out of town for a week, so burns it down instead*

[JYAP]

(a AntiFire triggers instead,and Monk incinerates)
(and there is nothing wrong with Warcraft! Come over here unless you're afraid!)

[Protoss119]

~does not have Warcraft~

[JYAP]

(buy it you noob)
(and get The Frozen Throne expansion or you'll regret it)

[Protoss119]

~takes message, throws it at Felonious~

~hands fall off from being at Busch Gardens~

[JYAP]

(still claims pub)
(has now established a giant guard force around the pub)
(and made it indestructible)

[Protoss119]

Not a good idea...

~reccommends making the pub destructable again so that if Felonious got inside again, we could blow up the pub and kill him in the process~

[JYAP]

(points out Monkey just blows it up from the outside and that no one can get in without my willing permission)

[Felonious Monk]

*blows it up from the outside*

[JYAP]

(pub blows up)
This bites.
(reverses time to RIGHT before Monk blows it up)
(blows Monk up)

[Felonious Monk]

*takes JYAP and the pub with him*

[JYAP]

(Sarda erases Monk from existance prior to exploding)

[Felonious Monk]

*is redrawn*
*draws mustache on Sarda, and a sign that says "I'm a big wussy girl that peepees in my pants all the time infinity."*
*erases JYAP's phylactery*

[JYAP]

(has infinite backups)
(Sarda already had a mustache)
(he just settles for shoving you in an alternate dimension)

[Felonious Monk]

Now he has two.

Fool! You can't trap a planeswalker in an alternate dimension!

*casts Sarda into Limbo, where the writhing mass of living chaos engulfs him*

[JYAP]

(casting Sarda into Limbo provokes a saving throw against his Will)
(he auto-saves)
(then destroys Monk with the power of a thousand Hadokens concentrated on him)

[Felonious Monk]

*evade x1000*
*brings Limbo to Sarda*
*the chaos claims his sanity*
*the lich queen Gith steals his soul*
*mindflayers devour his brains*
*githyanki children play with his entrails*

[Protoss119]

~sits back and eats popcorn with HK-47~

[JYAP]

But Sarda didn't make Limbo.
(Limbo and all of its contents disappear)
(Sarda Toads Monk,then feeds him to something that eats frogs)

[Protoss119]

Turning me into a toad makes me morph into a Gurab Trooper and beat the living hell out of people.

[Felonious Monk]

*cast Enlarge Self*
*eats thing that east frogs, then eats Sarda*
*disappears for 2 weeks*

[JYAP]

(a semi-universe reset randomly triggers)
(no one is allowed to deal with Sarda and Monk gets no evasion)
(meanwhile,shoots rabid zerglings out of siege tank cannons at Protoss)

[Protoss119]

~has multiple rabies shots for them, inserts as they fly into HK-47, who is being use as a shield~

HK-47: Irritated Statement: I hate you.

~unrabid Zerglings attack the Siege Tanks~

[JYAP]

(siege tanks unsiege,run them over)
(a portal opens,and a Far Seer and about 5 grunts go rush Protoss's base)

[Protoss119]

~unfortunately, arbiters hide the huge number of Zealots & Dragoons~

Zealots: For Aiur!

~Grunts are Psi-bladed~

~meanwhile, because I have no idea how big the Far Seer is, Dragoons fire on him/her/it~

[JYAP]

(the death of the Far Seer triggers a giant wave of Orcs and Tauren rushing down upon the foolish Protoss)
(Wyvern Riders nail the Arbiters with their spears as Troll Batriders throw some liquid fire at others before kamakaziing into them)
(9 Blademasters WW,flank Toss,and all attack,killing him almost instantly)

[Protoss119]

~is recalled to Char at the last second~

~finds himself near a Cerebrate~

~has some fun killing the Cerebrate while it ressurects itself over and over and over...~

[JYAP]

(Cerebrate evolves,gains abilities similiar to that of a Hatchery)
(larva pop out,evolve into Ultralisks,murder Toss)

[Protoss119]

~see, that's why Toss gets 255 upgrades for the Psi Blade~
~Ultralisks are decimated, continues to have fun slicing Larvae & the Cerebrate~

[JYAP]

(one of the larvae get inside Toss's brain)
(instant assimilation)

[Protoss119]

Oooh, tingly...

Overmind (From Larva): AAwaken, my child, and ~insert forgotten part here~. Know that I am the Overmind, and that you have been created to serve-

Ah shaddup. ~somehow gets Larva out of brain with hand~ Here, you have it. ~Arbiter recalls it to Evil Undead Lair in Florida~

[JYAP]

Awesome!
(kills larva)
(revives it)
(has undead larva morph into undead drone,which morphs into a undead hatchery)
(eventually gains a undead Zerg army)
Thanks for the gift!
(undead Zerg destroy the living Zerg with their immunities)

[Protoss119]

~halts the Zerg invasion before it starts~

~coverts the undead zerg to the light and they pass over to heaven~

[JYAP]

(TINK)
(no effect)
(the undead zerg eat Toss,then destroy the living Zerg,then France)

[Protoss119]

~clone is eaten alive~

~real me watches as Char is devastated~

~orders Death Star to fire on Char~

[JYAP]

CARBUNCLE! I CHOOSE YOU!
(Carbuncle Reflects the blast back at the Death Star)

[Protoss119]

~Death Star fires at Reflect's very existence at the last second and blows it up, causing a time reversal resulting in the destruction of Char~

[JYAP]

(except Sarda is tired to death of the Death Star(pun intended) and erases it and its projectile from existance)

[Protoss119]

~Which is why Death Star II gets constructed and blows up Sarda~

[JYAP]

(which is also promptly erased along with the blueprints and any notion of it)

[Protoss119]

~Death Star III, IV, & V blow up Sarda~

[JYAP]

(but there are no more blueprints and no one can even think about it now,therefore the Death Star has ceased to exist)

[Protoss119]

~That's where the Life Star comes into play~

~Life star is exactly like the Death Star, except it's created by some bimbo who has no idea what the Death Star was~

~Proceeds to blow up Sarda~

Note: Anything about the Life Star, including the Life Star itself, is non-canon.

[JYAP]

(Sarda is pissed now)
(Protoss explodes,regenerates,explodes,regenerates...)
(the Life Star and ANYTHING relating to the Death Star in name,function,shape,or whatever,will explode on completion)
(meanwhile,back on the topic of the pub,the pub is now a giant fortress with awesome villainy spires jutting out)

[Protoss119]

~Sarda is crushed by a giant mallet for imba~
~teleports inside the fort- err, pub~
~throws JYAP out of the pub~

[JYAP]

(teleports back in,Hadokens Protoss out)

[Protoss119]

~counters with...~

SHORYUKEN!

~resulting in a magical-lock thingy until Protoss119 (my character from KOTOR II) comes in and throws his silver lightsaber through JYAP's bones~

[JYAP]

(which is what happens as the lightsaber passes through me harmlessly)
Wow...
(a burrowed Crypt Fiend pops up,grabs Toss,and burrows again)
(insta-kill)

Speaking of which,add JYAP@USEast to your buddy list. You're not playing the same game as me,so you have to add the @USEast part.

[Protoss119]

Shweetness! I'll do it right away!

~respawns~

~uses Force Pull to pull the lightsaber to him~

~ignites, stabs Crypt Fiend~

[JYAP]

(except Toss is next to water)
(a Naga Myrmidon drags him under)

[Protoss119]

~magically puts on scuba suit with inexhaustable oxygen supply~

[JYAP]

(the Naga Myrmidon uses his awesome trident to destroy the air tank)

[Protoss119]

~teleports out of the Naga Myrmidon's grasp~

~appears in pub & like some sort of Jedi plays it stealthfully~

[JYAP]

(the WANTED posters with your name on it don't help)
(nor do the fact billions of bucks is on your head)
(and the pub is occupied by all sorts of evil bounty hunters)
(you should know what happens)

[Protoss119]

Surpisingly, they're not on Monkey this time.

Bah, screw this.

~blows up the pub~

~reconstructs pub and claims as own~

[JYAP]

(the evilization of the pub made it damage-proof)

[Protoss119]

Damn it all!

~Zealot Mob breaks in~

Zealot Mob: For Aiur! For Aiur!

~The Zealots rescue Toss before starting their rampage around the pub~

[JYAP]

(as the last Zealot enters,an equal amount of Firelord spawn,each summoning a level 3 lava spawn)
(WTF FIRELORD RUSH OH NOES)

[Protoss119]

~since I still have no idea how big these firelords are, Dragoons fall in through the roof of the pub & shoot down the firelords~

~follows in with a Carrier Rush~

[JYAP]

(the roof is frickin SPIKED)
(Dragoon blood pours through)
(the sight of Dragoon blood filling the pub sickens the Carriers to the point where they lose control and hit Toss)

[Protoss119]

~Blue Arbiter recalls him right behind JYAP~

I find your lack of Starcraft disturbing.

~force-chokes him~

[JYAP]

(is not living and immune to force-choke)
I find your lack of Scout disturbing.
(Red Scout photon torps Blue Arbiter)

[Protoss119]

~Blue Arb uses the boost to get thru, tries a somersault, and just shoots it, Fox~

[JYAP]

(Red Scout does a U-Turn,uses the brakes,and uses bombs wisely)

[Protoss119]

~Blue Arb holds A to charge his laser & uses the brakes~

[JYAP]

(Red Scout's pilot,Alpha 111,pops out,and Demon Launchers the Arbiter)

[Protoss119]

~Pwnage (my guy in Battlefront II) pops out and fires Elite Rifle @ Demon Launcher Missiles~

[JYAP]

(Elite Rifle shots die on contact)
(one missile retargets and kills Pwnage)

[Protoss119]

~Pwnage respawns as a sniper, sniping the missiles~

[JYAP]

(sniper bullets die on contact)
(another missile retargets and nails Pwnage)

[Protoss119]

Play as Obi-Wan? 30
Play as Obi-Wan? 29
Play as Obi-Wan? 28
Play as Obi-Wan? 27

~plays as Obi-Wan~

~throws lightsaber at missile~

[JYAP]

(lightsaber dies on contact)
(guess what happens)

[Protoss119]

~lightsabers can't really die since they're not living~
~same for blaster bolts~
~and sniper shots~

[JYAP]

(then again,this is an insanity topic)
(when have the rules of physics applied?)

[Protoss119]

~In that case, JYAP's scout transforms into something small & heavy since the laws of physics do not exist~

[JYAP]

(which is the same thing as it was before)

[Protoss119]

~Except it's taken to the extreme, like so heavy that even the repulsors can't keep it up & it's like Microscopic~

[JYAP]

(because the laws of physics don't apply anymore,100000 Red Scouts whose weight and density cannot be changed appear out of nowhere)

[Protoss119]

~Blue Arbiters multiply x1,000,000 as do the number of Protosses~

Mwehehehe...which one is real?

~hides a badge in his suit as to tell the difference to avoid any unnecessary arguments~

[JYAP]

(blue-seeking atomic bombs are sent out)

[Protoss119]

~they all join the Green team~

[JYAP]

(which changes the color of the bombs to green)

[Protoss119]

~they all join the uncomprehendable color team, blowing up the bombs~

[JYAP]

(which blows up the arbiters cause they were so close)

[Protoss119]

~messes up the time-space continuum at the last second, resulting in a number of random events ranging from Zergling rushes to suicide TIE fighter attacks~

[JYAP]

(which also results in mass Photon Cannons popping up from nowhere and tons of AA flak cannons gunning down TIEs)

250th post here. This pub is weird.