The (Guest-Friendly) Insanity Thread

[Protoss119]

Hi! Welcome to the insanity thread! Here you can do whatever you want. Bomb france, get married, pwn somebody, reinact the matrix, you name it. Just in case things get out of hand, I have bombs all over the world and my commandoes will set it off on command. Enjoy!

~boxes that were supposed to be bombs fall on the commandoes and they die~

[JYAP]

(invades France with a army consisting of:
1000 Shy Guys On Yoshis
1000 Kirbies On Warp Stars
1000 Shy Guys With Heavy Machinery
1000 Go-Kart Yoshis
1000 Kirbies With Wheel)
(France's army,mixed with noobs,doesn't stand a chance)
(quickly pwns Monk with his glorious internet powers)
(then places edit lock on this)

;)

Re-owned.

[Felonious Monk]

*France quickly surrenders, gets plowed anyway*
*goes all Hammerdin on the encroaching undead hoarde (http://www.theonion.com/content/node/41676)*

[JYAP]

(flies into homocidal rage that can only be executed by lunatics like me)
(brutally tears apart every liberal and beats them to death with their limbs)
(forces media to cover this,then kills the media in the same fashion)
(calms down)'
Stupid liberals. Sooner or later the Constitution will be so warped,it might as well not exist at all.

[JYAP]

(reads link)
(dies in laughter)

[Protoss119]

I'll wait 'till the insanity gets out of hand before I make my appearance.

[JYAP]

(now takes the entire population of Life VS Death,Antiworld,and Bastions of War,and the DMs there,and forces them to be target practice for Shy Guy's homers)
Argh! Unbalanced servers! Blasphemy!
(then draws sniper,snipes all idiots that oppose PM's crit immunities)
(then lets all hell break loose as random video game chars,including zerg and protoss,roam randomly)

[Protoss119]

~opens fire on the world or wherever hell is breaking loose with shortguns and moves in with commandoes using UT Shock Rifles~

[Protoss119]

~steals Dakini Tribe from Populus: The Beginning and becomes the Shaman of such, renaming it to the Curtis Tribe, afterwards training some warriors, firewarriors, and priests out of braves to reinforce his commandoes~

[JYAP]

Oh yeah?
(forms tribe of Shy Guys and becomes Shaman)
(causes volcano to erupt on Curtis Tribe)

[Protoss119]

Oh no you don't!

~quickly summons an Angel of Death to pick off the Shy Guys and bolsters his tribe by giving them Turok 2 Shotguns, Shredders, Plasma Rifles, and Tek Bows~

[JYAP]

(causes tidal wave to kill most of his tribe)
(follows with meteor shower)

[Felonious Monk]

*walks in*
*kicks puppy*
*walks out*

[JYAP]

(gets strategic idea)
(makes a few Shy Guys get some rock instruments)
(makes his shaman avatar walk out in front of the SGs)

Shaman:STORM,EARTH,AND FIRE,HEED MY CALL!

(lightning starts dropping like mad,it's firestorming,and a big earthquake is tearing up the town as the Shy Guys rock on)
(as if that wasn't bad enough,lightning strikes the idle Shy Guys and turns them into WCIII Grunts/Raiders/Peons/Wind Riders/Kodo Beasts)
(the now-transformed army attacks the very weakened Curtis tribe)
(after 3 minutes and 35 Curtis deaths,I activate Armageddon and watch the rest of the mutant Shy Guys slay the last of the Curtis tribe)
(then zaps Dredoc)
gg

[Protoss119]

So you HAVE played Populus:The Beginning. Little do you know, however, that by destroying the Curtis Tribe, you have destroyed the Dakini Tribe and without them, you cannot complete the game! MUAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

~zapped shortly after saying this~

~gathers what little he has and takes his deadly Vex fighter - his ship from Astro Avenger - which includes 250 nukes, 500 Swarm Missiles, 1000 Smart (Seeker) Missiles, and 2000 Straight Missiles along with x5 every weapon in terms of damage and quantity and clones it 100000 times, hiring this many elite pilots to fly them~

~they quickly destroy JYAP's army by firing 200 swarm missiles - missiles that break into 5 more missiles - each~

~medically treats the said puppy~

[JYAP]

O RLY?
(shoots flares on the ships)
(watches all the missiles assumably seek down the ships because heat-seekers track,well,heat)
And as for Populus... www.gamefaqs.com for the win.
(takes Goliath mech)
(replaces machine guns with dual gatling guns,and the missiles with pursuit missile pods from Armored Core,and adds a Yoshi Egg mortar to the back)
(makes them about 3 feet taller and adds a layer of mythril to the armor)
(then takes siege tank and upgrades it so now it hovers in siege mode and can move,and makes the cannon 3 inches bigger for more firepower)
(then upgrades vultures so their now-added plasma grenades do splash damage,and gives then a gatling gun and a extra seat for a second gunner)
(mass produces and gives each now-normal Shy Guy one of the vehicles after cloning them all)
(invades base with vultures taking forward and attacking first,siege tanks laying down artillery fire,and the goliaths as the main line of attack)
ggnore

[Protoss119]

Not today.

~50,000,000,000 troops spill from all corners to Dredoc's base armed with Death guns - guns with no weaknesses at all, kill an enemy with one hit, seek their targets so they don't miss, and can't be stolen - and coated with 2 layers of Adamantine and gun down the invaders~

~meanwhile, super-fast wraiths coated in 12 layers of mithral spill from the base gunning down their foes with Death guns as well~

[Felonious Monk]

*punts puppy into France*

ZERG RUSH!

[JYAP]

O RLY?

(a lone Slippy Toad attacks as the Shy Guys fall back)
(Slippy is hit,and dies)
(2 more Slippys spawn,which are hit and die)
(4 Slippys spawn)
(it continues until they surrender from all his quotes)

[Protoss119]

~shows up and is an inspiration to his troops and they keep on fighting despite their being disadvantaged at having to listen to Slippy~

[JYAP]

O RLY?
(a respawning Beltino appears,and Slippys spout quotes off as if they were hasted)
(puts a demon sniper laser in Dredoc's head for a instant kill)

[Protoss119]

~JYAP lags up the world with so many Slippys and eventually crashes~
~everything that is his disappears and he can't come back for 5 minutes~
~in that amount of time, order has been restored to the world and an unpassable/invincible shield is put around the world to keep JYAP from getting in~

[JYAP]

O RLY?

(the shield doesn't stop me from hacking and logging in as a DM)
(destroys shield,recreates minions minus Slippy with the same stuff,destroys Dredoc's uber gear,and gives him a chance to retrofit Protoss mechanical machines for his own minions for WAR!)

[Protoss119]

~nothing happens, as Dredoc's shield is unpassable/invincible and not even hacking works~
~takes all the times JYAP has said O RLY and copy + pastes them 1000 times, then putting each one into a separate e-mail and spams him with it~

[JYAP]

(spams each spam mail with 2 YA RLYs in return)
(server shield suddenly becomes vulnerable,which is then hacked by me and I carry out my plan)
(blame the wizard who did it)

www.nuklearpower.com for 8-bit Theater and laughs ahoy.

[Protoss119]

~not even magic will pierce the shield...~

O RL-~is hit by the number of e-mail messages he sent which bounced off the shield from the inside and went right back at him~

~...and niether can e-mail messages~

[JYAP]

(unfortunately,the deflection from the wizard who did it awakens the wrath of the RP god,who promptly smashes the shield into bits and curses Dredoc)
(sends 3 times as much YA RLYs back)

[Protoss119]

~the RP god's own attack is reflected back at him and he dies and falls on JYAP~

Y'know, all I wanna do is live in peace without interference. Go find your own world to cause chaos at. :P

[JYAP]

...
(Dredoc suddenly drops dead)
Where the RP god fails,God pwns.
(God smites the barrier,which crumbles)
(Dredoc is revived on the condition that he never makes another invulnerable barrier like that again)

[Protoss119]

Yeah, OK-

~withers and dies due to agreement~
~his soldiers do the same~
~hell breaks loose again, killing all of his peeps~

[JYAP]

...how boring. Oh well. The point of life is to raise fallen party members.
(casts Life on Dredoc)

[Protoss119]

~is ressurected~

I LIVE AGAIN!!!

~Zerg and Protoss rip him to shreds shortly after he is ressurected~

[JYAP]

Now you're just being mean. Besides,those were under your control,how else can you match my Shy Guy tech?

[Halfwingseen]

*walks in with black and white 2 power* muahhaha? *brings his 300 meter tall evil wolf with meteor miracle and heal miracle and wrecks havoc on both sides then casts siren effectively causing all millitary guys in here to become villagers and migrate to my citadel then o their way here I cast fireball miracle and burn them all and hand force a giant hole a bury them*

and yes I can do this in BW2 you are a god...get used to it

[JYAP]

Sigh.
(turns off god powers in topic)
(resets everything)

[Felonious Monk]

Heh. It's a little strange to see JYAP being the voice of reason in a random insanity thread when most of the time it's the other way around. Old age getting to you, old chap?

[JYAP]

No,it's no fun when someone becomes god and owns everything. There has to be balance for insanity to actually work.
(builds up shy guy tribe again)

[Protoss119]

~learns from his mistakes~

~tries to turn on his shield which proves that he never did learn from his mistake but blows up in the process~

~gets up, repeats process over and over~

[Unregistered-JYAP]

(zerg rushes Protoss while he's messing with the shield)
OMFG ZERG RUSH GG

[Protoss119]

~rushes to make 12000 Battlecruisers like some sort of noob while being ripped to shreds by Zerg~

[Almuric]

looks like I need to find a way to get JYAP's password to him.

[Protoss119]

Indeed. You could always put a new thread in the General Discussion with his password in it and when he replies with his account, you can go ahead and delete the post. Since most of the people I know here are honest, JYAP shouldn't have to worry about impersonators. Otherwise, he could always change his password when he gets it.

[Almuric]

umm...that would be assuming that I knew around what time of day he'd be on. Not a very secure way of doing it.

[Protoss119]

Ah, I overlooked that. We just need to HAVE him come - ask him to come on a certain day he's on or whatever.

[Unregistered-JYAP]

Sniff...my account...

I can be on tomorrow at practically any time. Just not past 9 PM or before 5 AM,or during 4-7PM.

Of course,I live in Miami.

[Protoss119]

Soon, your account will be back in your hands, JYAP.

Al, post JYAP's password with all due haste while he's still here. Pardon me if I'm pressuring you, but this is urgent.

[Unregistered-JYAP]

(is eaten by Sinistar while waiting)

[Protoss119]

~makes it so some warrior shoots him so he died because he got shot and he died while getting eaten by Sinistar, so he has -1 lives and can continue playing because the game is set to end when he has 0 lives and didn't say anything about -1 lives~

[Unregistered-JYAP]

(is morphed into a Sinibomb)
(flies into Sinistar)

[Protoss119]

~Sinistar loses a piece~

Sinistar has 12 pieces.

You have 999999999 Sinibombs.

[Unregistered-JYAP]

WAR!
(flies Sinibombs into anything moving)

[Protoss119]

~fires Metroid Gun, reloads with a clip of 100 Metroids (with the gun firing 5 metroids a second), fires again, reloads, and so on until all the sinibombs are wasted~

[Unregistered-JYAP]

(the bombs regenerate due to gameshark)
(Protoss runs out of ammo and is hit)

[Protoss119]

~suddenly, everything looks all Sinibomby and Toss falls unsubconsious~

[Unregistered-JYAP]

VICTORY FOR THE BOMBS!
(now bombs France)

[Protoss119]

~plucks Great Britain out of certain death by France~

[Almuric]

xxxxxxxx <-- what could that be?

oops...it got deleted :P

[JYAP]

I'm baaaaaaaaack...

And to prove I'm real...

(Shy Guys somehow get their hands on WMDs,which they then use to nuke what's left of France)
(Great Britain is too cool to get nailed by the blast)

[Protoss119]

YEAH!!! YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Just so you know, I'm working on a new episode of Star Fox 6400 and a new series: Star Fox Assaulted, a spoof of Star Fox Assault.

Oh, and be sure to explore the rest of the forum. There's more to it than just EB...Trogworld's the place for any and all games, or anything of that sort...or just anything.

[JYAP]

Now to steal a high score from someone.
TO THE ARCADE,ROBIN!

[Almuric]

Now to steal a high score from someone.
TO THE ARCADE,ROBIN!

You dont stand a chance! :P

[JYAP]

Nope. ;_; ;_; ;_;

[Almuric]

Arcade > JYAP

[Protoss119]

~builds around 5,000,000 Battle Droids, 1,000,000 Droidekas, and around 2,500,000 of every other droid as preparation for trench warfare~

[JYAP]

You'll need them...the noobs are coming!
(a army of 100,000,000,000 noobs charge towards Protoss' current position)
...oh fine,I'll help.
(snipes a noob)
Helped...OH FINE!
(raises noob as undead)
(skeleton then kills another noob,who is raised)
(about 1,000 noobs die this way)
(sets his Raise Dead skill on autocast)
(is hovering above the battlefield)

[Protoss119]

~Destroyer Droids, who act as alternatives to STAPs, obliterate noobish troopers~

~if the artillery fire didn't kill the noob vehicles first, the AATs blast them to death~

~all in all, the battle seems to be going well~

[JYAP]

NOOBPIRES!
(noobpires start attacking)
(since Protoss is lacking anything wooden,the noobpires are dominating)
(a hijacked Science Vessel EMPs the Droidekas,which are then noobnuke'd)

[Protoss119]

Clone Trooper: Darth Maul! Watch out for that double blade!

~Darth Maul hits the Battlefield and slices open the noobpires~

~meanwhile, assault droids blast the Science Vessel to smithereens~

[JYAP]

(the noobs see Maul)
Noob: IT BE MAUL! I PLAY TRAP HOLE!
(for some freakish reason a hole opens below Maul,causing him to fall in)
(yes,it is lethal)
(noobs then start summoning random Yu-Gi-Oh monsters)

[JYAP]

Me>Arcade. Take that!

[Protoss119]

~Assassin Droids snipe the card-playing noobs one by one and their monsters are removed from play~

[JYAP]

(unfortunately the Yu-Gi-Oh fanboys are provoked by this)
(We: 200000 They: 3500000)
Wow. Protoss is going down at this rate. I should help...
(undead angel pops up on right shoulder)
UA: Yes,help him!
(undead devil pops up on left shoulder)
UD: NO! LET HIM LOSE!
UA: Shut it noob!
UD: Make me!
(both fight)
Morons. Well,since he's the only competiton I usually have...
(utilizes awesome ice powers to freeze about 1/4th of the army)
(then creates a army of ice soldiers to assist)

[Protoss119]

~activates Garrison Bonus to give his army another 2,000,000~

~meanwhile, Darth Sidious and Count Dooku hit the battlefield, using Force Lightning to zap waves of noobs~

Since I have hundreds of Assassin droids on good sniping spots, most of the key officials are pretty much dead.

~10 Trade Federation Cruisers enter the battle, launching waves of fighters as air support~

[JYAP]

(the noobs somehow smuggled secret duplication technology)
(while the generartor lives,each noob dead=2 more spawned)
(too lazy to ice it)

[Protoss119]

~1000 CIS Strike Bombers bomb the duplication machine~

[JYAP]

(the bombers do 1 out of 100000 HP damage to the shield of the generator)

[Protoss119]

~General Grievous lands on one of the bombers, using his rage 100000 times thus amplifying the damage of all the bombers to that~

[JYAP]

(the noobs hit Grievous with a anti-droid AA missile,causing him grievous(lol)wounds and stopping him after his 152nd rage)
(noobs then gun down the bombers)
(makes a will save)
(fails)
(watches some more)

[Protoss119]

~at least the bombers are doing 152 damage now...152x1000=152,000 damage~

Poof.

[JYAP]

(cept after the second run the bomber count<100)
(makes will save)
(succeeds)
(polymorphs into a shaman)
(walks up a conveniently-placed hill)
STORM EARTH AND FIRE,HEED MY CALL!
(WCIII TFT end music plays)
(noob population dies from spontaneously spawning orcs,lightning bolts,flameblasts,earthquakes,and incredibly heavy rock music)

[Protoss119]

~The few bombers left that are doing 152 damage bomb the thing to smithereens~

[JYAP]

(except it was the entire team that did 1 damage,not individual bombers)
(bombers take off about 9 more HP before blown away)

[Protoss119]

Introducing the upgraded arwing...

Slippy: Darn it! I'm being chased! ~Slippy and two other enemies behind him crash into the duplicator~

~has a damaged Great Fox in store (like the one in the cutscene before the last level) if that fails~

[JYAP]

(is tired of seeing Protoss fail at destroying the shield)
(freezes the duplicator)
(then summons a giant glacier freezing 1/3 of the enemy)
(except they number>9,000,000)
(is also tired)

[Protoss119]

~had NO freaking idea that there was a shield generator~

~20 Victory-class Star Destroyers fly into the fray delivering a total of 10,000,000 Storm Troopers who blast noobs and Battle Droids alike~

~they are followed by 1500 squadrons of TIE fighters~

~all built for Trench Warfare~

[JYAP]

(unfortunately,the noobs call upon random movie characters to assist them)
(and Sauron with the ring is nasty in ANY situation)

[Protoss119]

~Sauron and his ring are no match for the dark side; Darth Sidious/The Emperor zaps him from the inside out~

~meanwhile, downed Trade Federation cruisers crash into other movie characters~

[JYAP]

(except being all powerful with the ring,the lightning is deflected,leaving Sidious open to a mace in the skull)
(Agent Smith somehow got out)

[Protoss119]

The Emperor: ~flees~ I'll be back...

~Stormtroopers somehow steal the ring and bring it back to Mustafar where Mt. Doom has been relocated to~

~The fires of Mt. Doom flow into Mustafar's lava lakes and the stormtroopers can just place it any ol' place~

~they drop it into a river near the separatist base, thus destroying the ring and killing Sauron~

Slippy: Darn it! I'm being chased!

~Slippy and three other enemies crash into Agent Smith and whatever other goonies he might have~

[Halfwingseen]

*dear lord you both idiots casts Kill all Idiots Spell save vs Dc of 999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 or die instantly all of you.... ( naturally u all roll 1's cause you are idiots) Its over...*

[JYAP]

(everyone activates Reincarnation)
(Agent Smith dodges Slippy and his pursuers,which plow down Halfwing instead)
(when Smith sees Halfwing is still alive,he turns him into another Smith)
(unfortunately,GOLLUM saw the ring get tossed in)
(Gollum rolls will save...fails...he goes berserk)

[Protoss119]

~Two members of the 501st gun down Gollum~

Peppy: Out of the way, everybody!

~Peppy's blowing-up ship is launched into the noob horde~

[JYAP]

(Peppy's body is taken over by Smith)
(Smith turns the ship into the droids)

[Protoss119]

~Aparoids infect the smiths~

[JYAP]

(Aparoids get Smithified)
(those who resist are pwninated)
(all Smiths but one jump ship as the Great Fox blows up a lot of droids)

[Protoss119]

~the last of the downed Trade Federation Cruisers fall on noob hordes~

~stormtroopers gun down Morpheus and his Red Pill, thus the matrix ceases to exist~

[JYAP]

(on the contrary,killing Morpheus somehow released the Sentinals upon the droids)

[Almuric]

The real question is: could protoss and JYAP have made their sigs any bigger? good lord *scrolls endlessly to read posts*

[Protoss119]

Be thankful that our sigs aren't 5750x5750.

~3 AT-ATs are released which gun down the sentinels and Morpheus's red pill~

~On the other hand, 10 AT-STs have hit the field which provide support for the other stormtroopers~

[JYAP]

(Al somehow enters the fray and is hit by a meteor randomly)
(Smiths draw random high-powered weapons and blow down the AT-ATs)
(for whatever reason,Green in Seven Force comes by in Soldier Force and plows down the AT-STs)
(Green is from Gunstar Heroes BTW)

OH GOD IT'S MY 666TH POST-
(Satan suddenly appears)
Satan:BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!(blows up 5/6 of droids)
Alpha: (flies by in starfighter,shoots Satan with Demon Launcher)
Satan:WTF HAX-(blown back to hell)

[Protoss119]

~the droids are defeated, leaving just the empire~

~saboteurs sabotage the high-powered weapons, causing them to be not as powerful as they want it to be~

~AT-TEs covered by AT-ATs attack the noobs~

This is just the beginning of the Empire, where they're still working on the Imperial-class Star Destroyer and the Death Star. They're not completed yet, so Clone Wars tech will still be in use. What's the noob count, BTW?

[JYAP]

Too many...wait,the noobs are going to win? WTF?
(decides he should actually DO something)
(calls his undead army to combat the noobs)
(then summons his Yoshis to engage with Shy Guys upon them)
(calls a Kirby airstrike)
(and equips a C.A.R.D. system and masses Sinow Zeles)

[Halfwingseen]

( and such JYAP MUST COME TO EB AT THIS MOMENT)

[Protoss119]

~TIE Bombers bomb groups of noobs~

EDIT: Spelling mistake. X_X

[JYAP]

(dials up Black Mage and Red Mage)
(Black Mage Hadokens noobs)
(Red Mage mimics Hadoken)

[Protoss119]

~dials up Tassadar to Psi Storm noobs and make hallucinations of Black/Red Mage~

[JYAP]

(with Black Mage's robes giving extra spell slots for Hadoken,BM flings it several more times)
(Red Mage follows)

[Protoss119]

~The Emperor spawns again and starts zapping noobs~

What's the noob count?

[JYAP]

Too many. I know!
(changes jobs from Undead Lord to Calculator)
CT5HOLY!
(all the noobs are blown away by Holy)
(except one battle-hardened ultra noob)
(said noob's power=(Sauron w/ring)10+(Emperor's force powers)10)
(and BM ran out of Hadokens)

[Protoss119]

Peppy: Outta the way, everybody!

~Peppy in Great Fox infected by aparoids comes crashing into that last noob~

[JYAP]

(noob pulls out BFG,blows Great Fox away again)

[Protoss119]

Slippy: Darn it! I'm being chased!

~the BFG blows up the enemies behind Slippy~

Slippy: Thanks, Fox! I thought I was a goner! ~crashes into BFG noob~

[JYAP]

(noob takes damage...except said damage is 1/1000th of his lifebar)
(noob sends mass spam messages to any remaining droids/droid ships,disabling them)

[Protoss119]

~thankfully, since there are no droids left, the Empire is unaffected and artillery fire blasts the noob~

[JYAP]

(noob turns on portable deflector)
(artillery is destroyed)
(noob makes slow march towards the commander,spamming all in his path fatally)

[Protoss119]

~Commander gets on speeder bike and speeds away from the supernoob~

~meanwhile, a downed Star Destroyer crashes on the noob~

[JYAP]

(still marching on)

[Protoss119]

~still speeding away~

~the Star Destroyer explodes which should at least hurt the noob badly...I think~

[JYAP]

(noob lost 1/10 of his health bar)

[Halfwingseen]

JYAP if your gonna post here come to NWN more then

[Protoss119]

~this being said, one of the six Torpedo Spheres fires a volley of around 250 Proton Torpedoes which all hit the noob~

Note: The Death Star, as well as the 4 other Torpedo Spheres, is still under construction. A Super Star Destroyer has just been finished, one out of four of them. I get all this information from the Star Wars Roleplaying Game Imperial Handbook.

[JYAP]

(noob activates reflector quickly)

[Protoss119]

~the split second before the noob can activate his reflector, the commander shoots it out of his hand and renders it useless~

~the proton torpedoes blast the noob to bits~

[JYAP]

(noob makes reflex save and draws another reflector before the torps hit)

Ok,this noob is too good.
(draws Soul Eater+9)
(slices)
(noob's soul is gone)
VICTORY!...now what?

[Halfwingseen]

now play NWN more!

[JYAP]

Computer still unplayable. >_<

[Protoss119]

-=VICTORY=-

~Stormtroopers throw their rifles in the air and cheer~

Meanwhile...

~two guys are just walking along when suddenly, a car drives by and two trombonists open fire on them with their almighty trombones; the two guys die~

Drive-by Tromboning.

[JYAP]

(pursues car in the Deathmobile)
(opens fire via violin)

[Protoss119]

~trombonists think fast and attach illegal Gb devices on their trombones and start playing Bb at their pursuers~

[JYAP]

(calls backup)
(3 undead police cars pursue firing flute notes)

[Protoss119]

Trombonist 1: AAAAHHH OMG

Trombonist 2: FLUTE NOTES OMG

~The car asplodes~

[JYAP]

No one escapes the flute mafia...

[Protoss119]

O RLY?

~flying stick men crash into flute mafia car, allowing trombonists to escape~

[JYAP]

(a giant eraser comes out of nowhere and murders the stick men in mid-flight)

[Protoss119]

~the flute mafia guys, distracted by this, unintentionally allow the trombonists to escape~

[JYAP]

Aw dang it! Get the elven tuba mafia on them ASAP!
(stabs some loser sneaking up on him from behind with violin bow)

Example of Elven Mafia:

Elf 1: Hey there. We'll help you with that monster there for only half of your treasure.

Dude: No thanks.

Elf 2: No,you don't understand,you NEED our help.

Dude: It's just a level 1 goblin,I can take it.

Elf 2: I'm sorry it had to come to this.(powers up goblins to level 17)

Dude: Whoa,now I NEED your help.

Elf 1: That's nice,but now it'll cost you ALL of your treasure.

We should do something like that on EB if my comp stops being laggy. We could have a group of archers to shoot up peeps.

[Protoss119]

Sounds like a good idea. Killing them could get you a little bit of XP/Gold so its actually WORTH going into someone else's base.

Trombonist 3: IAMAGOD ~activates Star Wars: Mysteries of the Sith code for all force powers and starts zapping elven tuba with Force Chain lightning~

Trombonist 4: DIEDIEDIE ~activates Star Wars: Mysteries of the Sith code for all weapons and blasts elven tuba with concussion rifle~

[JYAP]

(Hanzo Hattori randomly drops down from the ceiling and takes out the trombonists like the master ninja that he is)

[Protoss119]

~suddenly, ARIBETH falls out of nowhere and starts whining~

Aribeth: I can't face Morag, for fear of falling once again under her spell!

Trombonist 4: ~scurring away with what few feet he has left~ RUN AWAY!

[JYAP]

(two shuriken later, Hanzo is still on top)

[Protoss119]

~due to the effect of Aribeth's whining, the shuriken are burnt to pieces, therefore time functions normally~

[Driv3r]

*Smashes head against brick wall full pelt* w00t !!!!!!!!!!!!


Kind Regards
Driv3r

[Protoss119]

~welcomes WNxDriver to EB by arming him with several mega-uber weapons and placing 100 dragoons under his command~

[Driv3r]

Be's really mean And sets the 100 dragons onto protoss119 and hits him with mega-uber weapons *Giggles* *Says sorry* :P


Kind Regards
Driv3r

[Protoss119]

~flies off the island where this is taking place and finds himself rescued and in command of 200 mutant trombone players whose trombones kill like ahernia (How the heck do you spell that?)~

[JYAP]

(Hanzo appears on island,kills Protoss in .2 seconds)

[Protoss119]

~while getting killed, realizes (in RL) that the new Cartoon Network show, "Princess Natasha" uses Bungie Resources, the kind of resources used to make Halo~

~before the ultimate end to his life (the ultimate end to his life being him dying and respawning again), he destroys Princess Natasha (as in the show) and recovers resources made for making Halo~

The below statement is false
The above statement is true

[JYAP]

(Hanzo set a trap for Protoss in his spawn point)
(Protoss flips on the ground dead,then respawns in same point)
(trap reactivates infinitely...with DC 920)

[Protoss119]

~switches command posts and spawns there~

~the combined team of Kakashi (Naruto) and Boba Fett (Star Wars) attack Hanzo and are about equal to him when it comes to...err...superiority~

[JYAP]

(while that was your only command post,the other post nearby was guarded by Chunyu Qiong,who was too drunk to defend it)
(Hanzo uses a random ninjitsu art to destroy Boba Fett's gear,then is more than a match for Kakashi,especially after he splits into 5 regenerating copies)

[Protoss119]

~Boba Fett uses rocket darts on knee pads to destroy a few copies, Hanzo obviously forgetting to destroy those~

~The Hanzos' left arms are Sai'd by Kakashi and Boba Fett grabs a nearby carbine and shoots off the other arms~

Note: Arm + Sai = Disabled Arm. At least in Naruto.

[JYAP]

(except Hanzo NEVER makes a mistake,and fully disabled Boba)
(Hanzo aces reflex save(16+293=Good enough DC 20)and snags sais out of air,then flings them back at 2.5435626122577882 times the speed Kakashi threw them)

[Protoss119]

~dodges~

(JK)

~Kakashi manages to dodge a few, but the last one hits him in the ribs~

~calls for drastic measures, God makes Hanzo explode~

[JYAP]

God! You're supposed to be on my side!
(Hanzo reassembles)
TY!

[Protoss119]

Suxxors- Err, I mean, Slippy: Darn it! I'm being chased! ~he and 3 other enemies crash into Hanzo~

[JYAP]

(Hanzo dupe disappears)

[JYAP]

Hanzo doesn't like this topic at the bottom.

[Protoss119]

~throws all the topics at the top, therefore making this one at the bottom, thus Hanzo doesn't like this post~

BTW, when do you plan on continuing that Chao RPG? It stopped right in the middle of nowhere...it was getting good, too.

[JYAP]

I'm planning on just reversing time before the fight and redoing that part again.

[Felonious Monk]

Ninja Art: Shinkuu Hadouken!

*Hanzo is blasted back to Japan*

[Protoss119]

Kay.

~In the wake of Hanzo's blasting, 50 Lurkers come and spike France~

[Felonious Monk]

...

France sucks.

[Protoss119]

Yup. ~has a beer~

~realizes that he is allergic to beer~

~flies into a drunken rage, destroying the rest of France~

~In RL, swears he will never ever ever ever ever drink alcohol~

[Felonious Monk]

*points out that it was non-alcoholic beer*

[Protoss119]

Oh.

~in that case, drinks two cans of non-alcoholic beer at once~

~becomes drunk off the non-alcoholic beer~

[Felonious Monk]

*draws on Toss' face when he passes out*

[Protoss119]

~face explodes, revealing Luke Skywalker's face in place of his own, kinda like in The Empire Strikes Back~

[Felonious Monk]

Toss, I am your father.

[/james earl jones]

[Protoss119]

Err...well...I am your father's cousin's brother's nephew's former roomate's grandmother's son's FATHER!

[Felonious Monk]

Lonestar: So what does that make us?
Dark Helmet: Absolutely nothing! Which is what you are about to become!

FEEL THE POWER OF THE SCHWARTZ!

[Protoss119]

~feels the power~
~has a flower~
~needs a shower~
~in a tower~

~this rhymy thingy makes him asplode~
~insert Lurker death sound here~

[Felonious Monk]

Ewwww, gross. I just got Toss all over me. And I just bathed last week, too.

[Protoss119]

Dude, you only need a shower once a year...ah well.

...Dibs on JYAP's throne!

~while JYAP is away, uses invinced Arbiter to recall him onto the throne~

YAY! ~dances on his throne~

[Felonious Monk]

*throne is actually a disguised gelatinous cube, which immediately engulfs and begins digesting Toss*

[Protoss119]

~clone is disintemagrated~

~A battlecruiser rush completely destroys the gelatinous cube~

[Felonious Monk]

Psionic Storm!

[Protoss119]

DAMMIT!

~throws another High Templar at Felonious' High Templar, causing them to form an archon~

Archon (upon forming): WTF JUST HAPPENED?! ~randomly decimates stuff using Psionic Shockwave~

[Felonious Monk]

Mmmmmm... archon.

EMP Shockwave!

*stimpak marine rushes up and kicks archon in the jewel bag, killing him*

[Protoss119]

~a vulture comes out of the explosion and shoots the Marine once, killing him~

Damn, this is just like Battlecraft.

~vulture proceeds to kill Felonious~

[JYAP]

(a Aparoided Vulture blows up the vulture attacking Monk,then fires Aparoid Spider Mines every which way)
(brings REAL throne,sits)

[Felonious Monk]

*as JYAP sits a loud fart sound rips through the pub*

Whoopie cushion. Gets 'em every time.

[JYAP]

(Monk explodes from hearing it)
(throws whoopie in furnace)

[Protoss119]

Abyss.Knight (one of my friends on SC): WTH?!

~Abyss gets hit by the Whoopie Cushion, he being in the furnace~

~he comes out and RPs the hell out of JYAP~

~Invid Gurab Troopers slice the hell out of the Aparoid'd vulture and proceed to unkill JYAP, then kill him again~

Unkilling something means that you're making them not Undead. I just made that up.

[Felonious Monk]

PWN'd!

*Monk chunks (hehe) melt into liquid metal, then reassemble themselves into a giant miniature space hamster*

Terrible hamster justice shall be wreaked upon you!

[Protoss119]

~Veritech Valkyrie in Guardian Mode rains missiles down on the space hamster and then switches to Battloid mode where it fires waves of bullets~

[JYAP]

JYAP: Immune to Unkilling.
(got his grammar from RPing)
(engages in RP duel)
(wins a few seconds later due to the highspeed intensity of it)
(meanwhile,steals some of Planet Bob's lurkers and burrows them)

[Protoss119]

POACHER WTF

~BIG Gurab Trooper falls right in front of JYAP and takes off his head~

[Felonious Monk]

Go for the eyes, Boo, GO FOR THE EYES! RAAAAAAAAAAAURGH!!!

[JYAP]

MY HEAD! PRECIOUS!
(grabs it back,goes all Gollum on the punk)

[Felonious Monk]

*hamster throws JYAP into Mount Doom*

For anyone who hasn't seen/read Return of the King: *SPOILER ALERT*

[JYAP]

(pulls out switch hook)
(shoots hamster with it,trades places with it)

The movie changes a lot of stuff in the book.

Example: Saruman-

SPOILERS FOR LOTR! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!






dies at the Shire,not at Orthanc. Gimli never ever tries to ride a horse. Bill Ferny is left out. Merry and Pippin never took Gandalf's dragon firework,but I still want him at my house tomorrow! Screw Miami's firework limitations!

[Felonious Monk]

Yeah, but that's pretty much true for any book to movie conversion.

And I feel your pain on the fireworks limitation. Where I live you can't buy anything that explodes, flys, or can put your eye out. We can buy smoke bombs and $40 paper tubes that shoot sparks, though. The last time I got good fireworks was when I was down in TN for my wedding, and that was 3 years ago.

[JYAP]

Wait,no insanity?

(several dragon fireworks go off)

[Felonious Monk]

Oh, yeah.

*hamster incinerates in the lava, then is reborn as a pheonix shortly thereafter*
*hamster-pheonix burns the living hell out of everything*

[JYAP]

A hamster-phoenix? Oh brother.

JYAP sent out Gyarados!

Gyarados used Hydro Pump!

It's super-effective!

Critical hit!

Enemy Hamster-Phoenix fainted!

Gyarados got 920 exp!

Gyarados leveled up!

[Protoss119]

~Gurab Trooper tackles Gyarados and beats it to death with claws/fists~

~It then proceeds to beat the hell out of JYAP's cannons & pylons like in Battlecraft, ending the game~

[Felonious Monk]

Come back Boo! Come back to me!

Wait... I am the hamster.

*is dead*
*comes back as the terasque*
*chaos ensues*

[JYAP]

Gurab uses Tackle!

But,it missed!

Gyarados uses 1337 Hydro Pump!

SUPER critical hit!

Enemy Gurab fainted!

(watches as Gurab dissolves into a pile of 1337)

(recalls Gyarados)

Go! Psion! (a Abra appears)

Psion uses Psiblade!

Enemy Terasque fainted!

Psion can't level anymore...

[Felonious Monk]

*devours psion*

[JYAP]

(Psion slices his way out)
(which is ****in painful)

[Protoss119]

~mob of zealots appears behind the two, one of them holding a sign that says "Give your life for Aiur"~

Protoss Zealots: For Aiur! En Taro Adun!

Muslim Zealot: For Allah! En Taro Mohammad! ~sliced~

(Note: I'm sorry if I have offended anyone)

~The Protoss Mob gangs Gyarados and Psion along with the hamster~

[Felonious Monk]

*regenerates*
*devours Protoss mob, Gyarados, and psion*

Bland, yet filling.

[Protoss119]

Zealot Mob in stomach: For Aiur! For Aiur! For Ai- ~goes through Esophagus into stomach acid~ OWOWOWOWOWOWOW- For Aiur! -OWOWOWOWOWOWOW!!!

~reaches for his gun which he just can't find~
~'cause Batman stole it and he shot and he missed~
~and Jackie Chan deflected it with his fist~
~and he flipped in the air and he did a somersault~
~as Abraham Lincoln was try'n to jump the vault (or something)~
~and they both collided and fell right there~
~and they both got hit by a carebear stare~

This is the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny
Good guys, bad guys, and explosions, as far as the eye can see
And only one will survive, I wonder who it could be
This is the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny

If you have no idea what I'm talking about...

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/showdown

[Felonious Monk]

*has indigestion*

[Protoss119]

Random Zealot: The Sarlaac found me somewhat indigestible- ~hit in the back~

Zealot: For Aiur!

~at any rate, Zealots fly in mad rage at Felonious~

[Felonious Monk]

*belches*

By my calculation the Zealots have lost their shields and only have ~64 HP remaining. And they're still getting digested.

*thorws one up, then steps on it*

[JYAP]

(red dots appear in such a way,All your base are belong to us is spelled out)
Nuclear Launch Detected.

[Felonious Monk]

*makes save*
*is immune to fire*
*regenerates everything else*

[JYAP]

(you can't regen the regeneration gene that got radiated in the nukes)

[Felonious Monk]

*carapace blocks radiation*

[JYAP]

(then a giant ion cannon vaporizes you from orbit)

[Felonious Monk]

*regenerates*

The tarrasque is a badass. All forms of damage are treated as nonlethal and it regenerates 40 HP every 6 seconds. Even if it fails it's saving throw against FoD or some other insta-kill spell, it just regenerates itself again.

*eats JYAP*

[JYAP]

(from inside,destroys regeneration gene)
(then hacks his way out)

[Felonious Monk]

You destroyed the undead vulnerability gene instead. Now you can't hurt me by any means.

*eats JYAP again*

[JYAP]

Uh huh. Ok. So I can't injure you by punching or whatnot. Ok then.
(summons a FF Monk inside with him)
(casts Temper 99 times on him and Haste)
(commands him to destroy every gene and you after properly equipping him)

Really,FF monks are overpowered. The summary of the battle between my party and Astos went kinda like how it did in 8-bit Theater. To recap:

Black Mage: Astos? Mo' like your ass IS toast!
Astos: (THUD)
Thief: I don't think he's breathing.

[Felonious Monk]

*regenerates from stray tail fragment*

There's only one way to kill a tarrasque, and a FF crossover ain't it.

[JYAP]

You didn't reswallow me though.
(Hadokens you,completely annihilating you)
(failing that,converts your molecules into air molecules,which would logically kill you)
(if all else fails,Sarda gets annoyed and changes Monk back to normal...which is a miniature toad)

[Halfwingseen]

*decides to help jyap out deals 900 damage to monk effectively reducing his hp into the negetives and then casts wish* bam ace in the hole





Halfwingseen scores even more im right and your wrong points!!!!!!!!

[JYAP]

Doesn't Wish give the target some of your HP? Or do you mean something other than the FFT one?

Whatever.
(undead minions swarm Halfwing's ISP's office and overrun it,then disable Internet on Halfwing's comps)
Bwahahahaha...

[Felonious Monk]

GAH! Halfwingseen actually knows how to kill a tarrasque! You have to reduce it's HP into the negatives and use a Wish (level 9 mage spell) to keep it dead. Yes yes, more "right" points for you.

*hits JYAP's router with a DNS attack*

[JYAP]

Grrr...
(takes out cell phone)
(realizes he never bought one)
(raids a shop for one)
(calls Sarda)
(tells him to make my solutions work all the time or I teach Black Mage some blue magic to put the hurt on him)
(obviously he complies)
(masses carriers,frost wyrms,and zerg rushes at the same time)

[Halfwingseen]

*blows on the barrel of his pistol labeled Google.com search engine* ahhhhh well you would be amazed what forums on killing a tarrasque exist


And you would be even more amazed at how stubborn jyap is to go for help on a subject

[JYAP]

(shoots Halfwing's family jewels with a shotgun)
(since his solutions always work,Halfwing gets no save and thus is neutered)

[Felonious Monk]

To be honest I'm surprised JYAP didn't Google it or check the SRD a long time ago. No matter.

*turns JYAP's solutions into suspensions, then separates the components via vacuum filtration and scatters them across the multiverse*

[/nerd]

[JYAP]

(Sarda doesn't like Monk,and turns him into a Mini'd Frog)
(then drops a Hill Gigas next to him)
(and those things are bitches)

[Protoss119]

~Zergling-rushes Sarda~

I learned to Zergling-rush the computer in an FFA game while I was at NC. I brought my laptop with SC on it. X_X

[Felonious Monk]

*swallows Hill Gigas*
*tastes like foot*
*spits it at Sarda*

I have a very large stomach for a frog.

[Protoss119]

~Zerglings get squished by Hill Gigas~

DAMN YOU!

~Muta-rushes Felonious~

[JYAP]

(Sarda is irritated at Protoss's insolence and Toads him too)
(then 100 missile turrets appear under the mutas)
(boom)

Hey Toss,if you're a blue Arbiter in SC,what does that make me?

[Protoss119]

Err...that's your decision.

~morphs from froggie to Gurab Trooper, mauls Sarda~

~then morphs to Blue Arbiter, recalls around 50 Hydras, each with L10 ranged weapons~

[JYAP]

I wanna be a Red Scout with smuggled photon torpedoes! Yay!
(also smuggled his own Arbiter recall device)
(warps 50 Dragoons to counter hydras)

[Protoss119]

~flies in, uses Stasis Field on Dragoons~

~Hydras take it from there~

[Halfwingseen]

fine then i guess ill be the only one left a single lone zergling >.> <.< F@312
/\/\Y @\/\/3$0/\/\3/\/3$$ *burrows* then attacks once*then burrows* ( rinse repeat all the hydralisks and dragoons die and in their place spawn exact copies of me who all burrow far away and explode as jyap and protoss try to move away


muauahahahahahahahahaa

[Protoss119]

~Cloaked Overlord appears over the Zergling~

~Zergling is fragged by Hydras~

[JYAP]

You forget Protoss,Stasis Field renders my Dragoons invulnerable to your Hydra attacks!
(since Dragoons are stronger and have more HP,they destroy the Hydras)
(photon torpedoes Protoss)

[Felonious Monk]

You can't attack from a stasis field!

*waits for stasis field to end, then annihilates dragoons with a mass of siege tanks*

All this SC talk is making me want to play. I think I'm going to go kick my brother's ass and get my disk back.

[JYAP]

(reavers come out of nowhere and blow up the siege tanks)
I know! We can make Monk a green observer since he rarely gets involved in stuff between me and Toss! It's perfect!
(hit by scarab)

[Protoss119]

I know that, that's why I froze them so I can stasis some, pick a few off, and kill the rest with sheer numbers when they unfreeze.

~catches Photon Torpedo~

Oh bloody hell- ~boom~

~deploys 1337 Tassadar which mauls JYAP over with Neutron Flare-ish Psi Assault~

[Felonious Monk]

*clicks eye button*

[JYAP]

Oh shoot-
(Scout goes down...into Tassadar)
(meanwhile,at the Red Base,I ressurect on board the Scout)
(leads a army of red zealots and red dragoons into battle)

[Protoss119]

~takes Armed Kakarus and pits them against the armies~

~meanwhiles, deploys more Tassadars~

[JYAP]

(but as the zealots and dragoons near,a shadow looms over the battlefield...)
One of Toss's Goons: OH GOD NO! RETREAT!
(yup,mass carriers)

EDIT: Post 999. lol

[Protoss119]

One of Toss's Goon's: What just happened? Did I get MC'd or something? But where's the Dark Archon? ~explodes~

~Anti-Air Ursadons rape the Carriers~

[Felonious Monk]

*eats popcorn*

[JYAP]

Ursadons? We're going back into Pokemon? Fine then.

JYAP sent out Mass Hitmonlees!

(lots of kicking later,I win)

[Protoss119]

Ursadon's a critter in Starcraft in the Ice terrain. <_<

~A TIE-launching Carrier spits TIE Fighters at the Hitmonlees which are disintegrated in the explosion~

[JYAP]

(the Carrierlord attacks the TIE-shooting Carrier)
(then ANOTHER carrier pops up shooting out Arwings piloted by Slippy)

[Felonious Monk]

*EMPs Slippys on principle*
*goes back to eating popcorn*

[JYAP]

Not that popcorn! That's The Ninja's special blend!
(Monk explodes)
...tried to warn him...

[Felonious Monk]

Whoooooooooweee! That's some good popcorn!

*throws a handful at JYAP*