View Full Version : Prelude (NWN Spoof)
Protoss119
04-15-2006, 10:21 AM
Why didn't I do this before? It's a NWN spoof of the Prelude to the official NWN campaign and blah blah blah. Enjoy.
Prelude
Serind Tylner: You are about to visit a world of complete insanity, of lunacy, of craziness where order is established through chaos and discord. We are about to enter...the Drop Zone.
Nissan Motormouth (as seen on the commercials): Drop zone drop zone drop zone drop zone drop zone drop zone drop zone drop zone drop zone drop zone- ~gunned down~
Serind Tylner: Gawd, Nissan commercials suck nowadays. Anyway, into the Drop Zone we go...
~insert special effects here~
My dear friend Rain Mirnimane has just warped into the module.
Rain: Hey! How the hell did I get here?
Heat: ~from the Great Fox~ Beats me.
Snow: I have no clue.
Hurricane: IDONOTKNOWILIKETOTALKINALLCAPSAND ~insert forgotten part here~
Rain: Whatever. Since I'm here...
Rain walks out of "his" room to find the evil Pavel who tries to throw a very long conversation at him.
Rain: ~matrix dodges conversation~
Unfortunately, the conversation hits him in the back and he is thrusted into it.
Pavel: Finally, you're up! I was-
Rain: Blah blah blah blah BLAH! Jeez, what else do you do besides talk?!
Pavel: My name's Pavel. You must be-
Rain: SHUT UP!
Pavel: -Rain Mirnima- ~scythe'd~
Rain: THAT'S IT! I've got to escape this insane asylem!
Rain attempts to get out through the door but it is locked since he hasn't spoken with Bim yet.
Bim: You need to get a tutorial first.
Rain: I don't NEED a tutorial! I NEED to get out of this dump!
Bim: OK, then you need a tutorial.
Rain: If it gets me out of this, fine...
5 hours later...
Bim: So we're clear on all of this?
Rain: I thought I told you, I already KNOW all of this!
Bim: OK. Now you can pass through this door.
Rain: You know what? ~attempts to scythe him~
Bim: You can't kill me.
Rain: Why not?
Bim: Because I'm the tutorial guy.
Rain: So how do I kill you?
Bim: The goblins kill me later.
Rain: I hope they come early this year.
With that, Rain is off to see Olgerd/Olgard/Whatever and flies right past him.
Olgerd: Come back here and get your equipment!
Rain: Take a look at me! Whaddya call this?!
Olgerd: Loincloth?
Rain: YOU DUMMY! This is armor, and in my hand is a frickin' scythe!!!
Olgerd: Well, do you want to buy something or not?
Rain: Hmmm...come to think of it, yes. One large shield, please.
Olgerd: That'll be 50 gold pieces.
Rain: Done. ~gets his Large Shield and comically flattens Olgerd with it~ Sheesh.
Rain then walks into the next roo-
Berna: Come over here if you want to learn about your map and journal.
Rain: Say wha?
Berna: Come over here if you want to learn about your map and journal.
Rain: Sorry, not interested.
Berna: Come over here if you want to learn about your map and journal.
Rain: I said NO!
Berna: Come over here if you want to learn about your map and journal.
Rain: Is that all you can say or something?
Berna: Come over here if you want to learn about your map and journal.
Rain: You're just trying to annoy me, aren't you? Simple solution...
Berna: Come over he- ~scythe'd~
Rain: Sheesh.
Rain then walks into the next room to find Herban.
Herban: It's about time you showed up, recruit! My name is Herban but for your worthless hide, you can just call me sir!
Rain: OK, Herban.
Herban: I said call me sir, maggot!
Rain: Sure thing, Herban.
Herban: You better call me sir or else I'll BIN YOU!
Rain: Whatever.
Herban: Look here, you worthless piece of scum! You...~lots of yelling here, a lot of reprimanding there...~
Rain: O RLY?
Herban: Yeah, really! And to prove it, I'm gonna test you in melee and ranged combat tests! GET TO IT, MAGGOT!
Rain: Kay. ~is off~
0.01 Seconds later...
Rain: Done.
Herban: WHAT?! There's no way you could...have...O_O
Herban sees the combat dummy trashed, Dendy unsubconsious, the target totaled (due to the boomerang effect of the scythe) and Hewwet in a daze.
Herban: I underestimated you, recruit. Here, take these boots.
Rain: ~puts them on~ So what do they- ~boing~ Heh. They make me bouncy! HAHAHAHAHA!!! ~boing boing boing boing boing~
Some random adventurer: Hiya- ~bounced on, crushed like in Super Mario Bros.~
Emperor Palpatine: Join the dark side- ~bounced on~
Darth Vader: I'm your father- ~bounced on~
Herban: Just try not to overexaggerate them- ~bounced on~
Dendy: ~comes to~ Ughn...what happen? Somebody set up us the bomb? We get signal? ~bounced on, is unsubconsious again~
Rain: Well, my training's finished. Now I for some reason have to head out into the main hall to recieve a "blessing". Jeez, I'm Level 20 for pete's sake!
Rain goes there and encounters a guard.
Guard: Now that you've- ~bounced on~
The door opens and Rain sees Snow, Sleet, Hail, Heat, and Hurricane along with a bunch of dead graduates.
Snow: We somehow managed to get here.
Rain: I noticed.
Hail: Hey, what's that you're wearing that's making you all bouncy?
Rain: Well, I got these new boots and they make me all bouncy and when I jump on people they die like in Super Mario Bros.
Sleet: ...could I try them on?!
Rain: NO THEY'RE MINE
Aribeth: Congratulations. Your training here in the Aca-
Rain: Ah Shaddup. ~bounces on her~
Aribeth: ~is a plot character and thus invincible~ Wait...do you feel it? Brace yourselves, we are under attack!
Rain: We are?
Heat: IT'S THE INVISIBLE SPECKS! They come to destroy us all!
Snow: ~quietly reads a book while waiting for attack to begin~
Hurricane: OMGLOOKSOMEMAGESAREABOUTTOWARPINHERE
Some mages warp in there.
Aribeth: We are under attack! Destroy the invaders!
Mage 1: DIE UNWORTHY- ~bounced~
Mage 2: I'LL HAVE YOUR- ~bounced~
Mage 3: TASTE THE- ~bounced~
Aribeth: I must speak with you!
Rain: You ARE speaking with me.
Aribeth: Listen to me! There is not much time-
Rain: Blah blah blah! Give me the damn key already!
Aribeth complies while talking her mouth off and Rain is off.
Mage: What's this? I was expecting Aribe- ~bounced~
Rain: What fool would expect Aribeth in this environment?
Later...
Rain has reached the mage again after going through that big door that needed the key.
Mage: What? You survived?!
Rain: Didn't I just kill you?
Mage: It matters not. You die here and now! ~bounced~
Rain: Sheesh.
Rain opens the door to find Pavel.
Rain: YOU!
Pavel: Thank the- ~bounced~
Rain: Where the hell did Herban get great boots like these?
Later, Rain has encountered the old man with packs of levels.
Rain: Hey, I could use a level up or two.
Old Man: Well, what level are you and do you need to learn how to level up?
Rain: Uh...1 and no.
Old Man: OK, here's your level.
Rain: HOORAY, I'm epic! ~levels up, gets Epic Weapon Focus Scythe~ Who needs Armor Skin here anyway? The people here are too easy!
Finally, after grabbing a lot of 1337 treasure, Rain encounters the mage again.
Rain: DIE ALREADY! Sheesh, I killed you, like, twice. ~bounces the mage~ Oh forget this. I don't have to put up with this! ~saves character, gets out of game~
Serind Tylner: The deadly Rain Mirnimane, who used a lie and a pair of magical boots along with a deadly scythe to get his way across the game, has just left in disgust. It goes to show you that all the servers are either down, full, need a password, or just plain suck. And the pity of it is that these things cannot be confined to the Drop Zo-
Rain: That's not true at all! I mean, look at EB! It's great as hell if some people would take the time to come visit.
Serind Tylner: Will you just let me dramatize things?
Rain: HELL NO! ~scythes Serind~
Fin.
This gets a standing ovation from my undead army.
Protoss119
07-01-2006, 11:04 AM
Doesn't matter. You're just in time for my B-DAY!
~battalion of lurkers spike the undead army~
~subterrainean spikes just happen to be covered in cake~
~puts on Darth Nihilus mask to hide identity~
Yes, I play KOTOR II now.
EDIT: I learned what a standing ovation is. ~bows politely~
Let me continue this,actually.
Rain: DIE ALREADY! Sheesh, I killed you, like, twice. ~bounces the mage~ Oh forget this. I don't have to put up with this! ~saves character, gets out of game~
Bzzt.
Rain: WTF? I SAID get out of the game!
Bzzt.
Rain: Sonuva...Fine,I'll continue.
Next room...
Goblin: Got any 3s?
Fenthick: Go fish. (crushes goblin with mace)
Dryad: Ah! Violence! I must flee like the pansy that I am!(magically warps out of the Academy)
Yuan-Ti: My bonds-
Rain: Hey,you're that wacko that tries to raise an army of the undead. Let's skip 1/5 of the next chapter. (SLICE)
In the Docks meanwhile...
Cockatrice: I'm,too sexy to appear,too sexy to appear,way too damn sexy-
Nissan: (runs over Cockatrice,then asplodes cause Toss hates their commercials)
Back at the Academy.
Intellect Devourer: (I'm so much smarter than you inferior humans and elf boy. I've already figured out the secret to eternal happiness. It's-)
Desther: YARRR(falls on devourer,shooting his brain into Rain's hands)
Rain: Well,that's that-OH SHI-
Fenthick: We came too late,the Academy students slain,my gothic desires will never be fulfilled now! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111shift+1
Desther: All is lost cause I'm a total jackass and I'm out to destroy the world with my fake blessings. Oh,speaking of which,since I hate you...("blesses" Fenthick)
Fenthick: You're my bestest friend!
Rain: Can I move on to the next chapter since I'm stuck here?
Fenthick: NEVARRRRRRRR-(bounce)RRRRRRRR-(bouncex3)RRRRRRRR!
Rain: God,SHUT UP!(steals his free level up and moves on to next chapter)
Meanwhile,in the Great Fox,Rain is hooked up to a Matrix-esque thingy while Snow is the operator.
Heat: He's made it to the next level.
Hail: Woot.
Hurricane: BUTHEMIGHTDIEAT-
Snow: Uh oh. This looks bad...
TO BE CONTINUED!
Protoss119
07-20-2006, 04:06 PM
Rotlfmfao!!!
Dammit, they should have a way for the player to figure out the fake blessing thing prematurely. Like the HK-50 thing in KOTOR II.
Jedi Exile: ~walks out of room with HK Protocol Droid~ Wait a minute...you're an Assassin Droid!
HK-47: http://objection.4camp.net/go.php?n=48926
At any rate, I believe I was a little vague. It's Victory Nissan that I absolutely hate. I mean, they're just pathetic...
V. Nissan Motormouth: FalseSavingsFalseSavingsFalseSavingsFalseSavings.. .grr, it's about damn time I stopped reading the script. He's right, Victory sucks.
Head of V. Nissan: http://objection.4camp.net/go.php?n=49084
I'm addicted to this Objection thing.
Type (edgey) before you make your objection. Or add (tunes) as well.
Protoss119
07-20-2006, 05:50 PM
Oh. Shweet.
IT IS ALIVE!!!!!!
Except it's a skeleton. Cause,y'know,I'm a lich.
Rain: When will this load?
Loading 1%.
Rain: YAY!
Loading 0%.
Rain: NO! CURSE THIS PIECE OF NOOBISH CRAP!
Loading -1%.
Rain: GAH!
---
Snow: Yup. The DMs found Rain and they're locking him out of Chapter 1 with a loadscreen of death.
Hail: Why death?
Snow: You'll kill yourself soon.
---
Loading -23%.
Rain: (rolls will save,succeeds)
---
Snow: Time to counterhack.
POOF
---
Loading 96%
Rain: Huh? That was fast...
Load complete. Initiating Chapter 1.
Fenthick: Greetings Kirby. I-
Rain: The hell? I'm R-(morphed)Kirby!
Fenthick: Yes,I know. Shut up so I can go whine emo-style.
---
Hail: You used a spoofer on him?!
Snow: Got any brighter ideas wise one?
---
Desther: We're leaving the city in the hands of this whelp? Good Morag,we're all gonna pwn.
Rain: Eh?
Fenthick: Don't mind him. He's always talking like that. That only shows his complete loyalty to Neverwinter.
Rain: You're not very bright are you?
---
Heat: I got the statistics guys. Fenthick's intelligence is 3. It's a miracle he's speaking literately.
---
Rain: Whatever. I'll be going now. (walks to door)
DM: (materializes behind Rain but out of sight of Fenthick and Desther,stealths,and sneaks up on Rain)
---
Hail: SHIT! DM! And a sneaker too! Quick Snow,log me in!
---
The DM creeps up behind Rain...ready to strike with his Kukri+94...
THUNK
The DM falls dead,a spirit escaping from his body. Rain of course is humming the WCII theme and doesn't hear the arrow as he enters the next room.
Hail: Crisis averted.
Desther: Who the hell are you?
Fenthick: An innertuber! Err,I mean...
Hail: Shit! SNOW! You didn't log me in as a PC! Now they're after me and they're invulnerable!
Snow: I can't log you out now. By the time I log you back in Rain could be in Chapter 2. You're just gonna have to deal with them.
Hail: Pretty-(ducks mace swing)hard to do-(jumps back from stab)so while talking-(sidestep,trip,Desther falls)to you Snow!
Snow: Fine. (warps Hail out of there and into the next room)
Next room.
Aribeth: Listen to me here,I must speak with you.
Rain: No. (tries to bounce her)
SOCK
Rain: The hell? What happened to my boots? Oh well,that's why I got my...scythe? MY SCYTHE! IT'S GONE!
---
Snow: Shoot. The DMs saw through the spoof already and removed his items.
---
Aribeth: Welcome to you and blah blah blah blah blah.
Rain: Hurry up and give me the stone so I can go save Neverwinter.
Aribeth: Right. (gives)
Rain: Good. Now how do I save Neverwinter barehanded?
Hail: Rain! Rain!
Rain: Hail,what the hell are you doing here?
Hail: The DMs...they're onto you.
Rain: Eh?
Hail: The DMs know you're the only one that can stop them. Just back there I shot one trying to kill you.
Rain: But why would they chase me?
Hail: Because you're the One.
Rain: What the ****ing hell? JYAP! WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION?!
---
Me: There's nothing wrong with the Matrix you noob!
---
Rain: **** you too.
Hail: Good news though. Snow's warping in weapons you can use. Problem is,the DMs deleted all scythe weapons.
Rain: Can it get any worse?
Hail: And the DMs could be anyone,and if they kill you,you're dead for good.
Rain: Can't you kill them?
Hail: I ain't the One. I can only disable their current body. Let's go though.
Rain: Fine fine.
The two walk outside to find...
Bethany: WAH!!! MY HOME IN THE WORST PART OF TOWN IS THREATENED! WAH! SAVE IT! WAH!
Rain: Shut the hell up!
Bethany: WAH! HE TOLD ME TO SHUT UP! WAH!
Doomsayer: DOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
Rain: It's impossible to get anything done here. Let's go save the dryad.
Hail: Fine.
Unbeknownst to our two heroes,in the shadows lurks something dangerous...
A raccoon walks out of the alleyway.
NOT THOSE SHADOWS! THAT ONE!
Oh,that one,where there's a pair of DMs conspiring to kill Hail and Rain?
Yes,that one you idiot!
DM 1: I see he's brought some help.
DM 2: We need to work fast. They're onto us.
The two DMs ready their crossbows and activate stealth mode.
Between the Blackgate(That is it right?)area and the Main Core...
Hail: Rain,thugs!
Thug: YARRRR!
The thug swings his club at Rain,who ducks and promptly uppercuts the thug,knocking him into a full backflip onto the ground.
Rain: He won't need this anymore.(grabs club)
Hail: More!
THUNK THUNK!
Two more thugs fall dead to arrows. A dog jumps out at Hail,teeth bared ready to strike...then Hail pulls out his concealed assassin dagger and stabs the dog,then throws him off his dagger. +5 coolness points.
Meanwhile,Rain is beating off thugs with his club. Not too much to say here.
Eventually all the thugs are dead.
Rain: Let's move on.
A black box materializes in front of them. Rain can't see it and trips.
Rain: OW! WTF!
Hail: Snow just warped in a weapon.
Rain: Cool. (opens it)
Rain got the Twin Light Crossbows!
Rain: That's IT?!?
Snow: Take it or leave it.
Rain: Fine.
Hail: Wait...
Rain: What is it?
Hail: ...
Rain: Well?
Hail: Rain,take cover!
Several bolts shoot out of nowhere. Rain sees them and has no time to dodge...but this is the part where we discover Rain has that cheesy focus thing going. So insert a fancy Matrix dodge scene here.
Rain: Awesome!
Hail fires back,but the DMs also Matrix dodge...without the slow-mo.
Hail: Dammit! Rain,I can only kill with sneak attacks! If they're aware of my presence,THAT happens!
Rain: Ok then. Bring it!
Insert cool crossbow fight here.
20 minutes later(19 of which was cinematic goodness and 1 was Rain rolling a natural 20 on both crossbows followed by rolling maximum damage),the DMs take a fatal bolt and die. Unlike the one Hail killed,no spirit emerges from their body.
Rain: That's it? This is gonna be easy.
Hail: I wouldn't count them out...Let's hurry to sanctuary though.
They move on to the Blackgate area after knocking the stupid guard out.
---
Snow: They're doing quite well.
Heat: When they only send two DMs,they're not trying. It won't be pretty later.
Hurricane: LYKOMGIPICKEDUPASIGNALATTHEBLACKGATEAREA
Heat+Snow: WHAT IS IT?!?
Hurricane: ITSA-
To be continued!
Protoss119
09-04-2006, 12:03 PM
~falls over, dies laughing~
ROFL! Awesome!
Damn,I can't think of anything creative/funny/cool. I was gonna plan a Burly Brawl-esque scene in the Docks. Any ideas amigos?
Protoss119
09-05-2006, 04:08 PM
Clone Sergols!
Sergol Clone Army: Listen to my words. You must hear them. ~world population is reduced to 500~
Maybe if someone dies.
coughcoughnotraincoughcough
Halfwingseen
09-05-2006, 08:58 PM
well im no help enevr got past chapter 2 beginning lol
Summary of NWN story for Wing.
Academy starts to get people to fight the plague. Academy pwninated by...oh God,I'm forgetting all the names! That town you invade in chapter 2E. Character comes to Hall of Justice after Fenthick forces you to join the militia. Bastard. Character finds the four cure reagants. Character can only watch as Desther steals the cure and Fenthick goes with him...moron. Character finds and pwns Desther. End of chapter 1.
Chapter 2,Aribeth turns emo. Aarin wants you to find two pieces of evidence against whats-that-town's-name. After that,you invade,only to find that Aribeth commited suicide. Then you wake up and realize Aribeth is gone. Much killing later,Aribeth is seen with Morag and Maugrim turning to the dark side. End chapter 2 after you pwn the guards.
Chapter 3,Neverwinter is under siege. You need to find the four words of power before Maugrim does. I can't remember anything else here though.
Chapter 4 is vague in my head. Aribeth you can finally smack down or be nice and get her to join your side. If you do kill her you get a sword that can only be used by lawful evil paladins. Yaaay-wait,WTF? Oh,and you get to kill Morag and save the world. No one cares about that. DIE ARIBETH!
Protoss119
09-06-2006, 02:33 PM
Luskan.
I always liked to mod the sword so it pwns stuff so easily, you need geared characters & 777 Heal potions to actually survive it.
Burst of story.
Rain and Hail are in the Blackgate Area. >_>
Formosa: Y412! 1<11_1_ 731-1 (V)4G3!
Rain: Oh God the 1337sp33k. Can we kill her and say she was a DM in disguise?
Hail: I don't see why not. Make sure you leave no witnesses though.
Rain: K.
Rain draws his crossbows,and shoots Formosa in the head.
Civs: ZOMG!
Rain shoots the nearby civs listening in various spots.
Rain: Wow. She's quite wealthy.
Hail: Rain,you just lost approx. 15 alignment points. You're Chaotic Neutral now.
Rain: Doesn't it affect you?
Hail: I'm already Neutral Evil.
The two proceed on to the guard.
(STORY MOD HERE)
Guarddude(See! I MUST PLAY NWN! Preferably the original campaigns with Rain and Dredoc while RPing): Yar,you shall not pass.
Rain: O RLY?
Guarddude: YA RLY.
Guarddude sent out Sunkern!
Rain: Hail,isn't Sunkern one of,if not the,weakest non-single move Pokemon in the games?
Hail: Yes.
Rain: Do I REALLY need a Pokemon to kill it?
Hail: >_>
Rain: I take it that's a yes.
Guarddude: SOLARBEAM!
Sunkern absorbs energy!
Rain: Whatever.
Rain picks up Sunkern and throws him out of Neverwinter.
Sunkern: KERRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrnnnnnnn...
Guarddude sent out Gyarados!
Gyarados's Intimidate cut Rain's Attack!
Gyarados's Intimidate cut Hail's Attack!
Rain: Run?
Hail: Yes.
RETREAT
In the pub...
Rain: Right...I'll be over there looking at the scythe gallery.
Hail: I'll go check around for a Pokemon.
The two split. Behind the bar,all is not so well.
DM 1: (drags down bartender) What do you think you're doing? They're onto us!
DM 2: Now calm down,he ain't done nothing wrong...
DM 1: Are you sure? I could've sworn I saw rich-boy giving them two signals or something!
Sadly,as they argue,Rain comes back looking at an article of a triple-bladed scythe. Hail found a Pokeball Snow warped in with Psion in it.
Hail: I got Psion!
Rain: Look at this scythe though!
As soon as Rain puts down the article,they see the two DMs.
Rain: Son of a bitch.
The bartender gets thrown out as cover and eats 3 bolts. Rain and Hail duck behind some nearby tables and return fire. Hail goes out to shoot but he gets shot in the hand.
Rain: Are you alright?
Hail: They shot me in the ****in hand!
Rain: Well distract them. I got a plan.
Hail,with his spare hand,shoots out the bottles behind the DMs,forcing them to duck. Rain throws a fire bomb behind the counter.
Rain: RUN!
The two evacuate as the bomb goes off,killing the DMs and the entire basement below. Sidequest pwned.
Back with Guarddude,Psion pwns Gyarados with a Psybeam.
Guarddude: OBJECTION!
Hail: http://objection.mrdictionary.net/go.php?n=1002099
Guarddude: BLARGH! (explodes from Hail speaking a link)
Rain: How'd you do that?
Hail: Internet. Let's go.
TO BE CONTINUED!
---
Snow: Next time on Prelude.
Hail: Take cover Rain! He has Ice Storm!
Rain: There's too many! We need assistance!
Meldanan: This is a message from Lord Nergal: I await you on the Dread Isle.
Heat: WTF?
Protoss119
09-07-2006, 04:19 PM
Ice Storm spam...not as bad as PK spam IMO, since you can get resistance/immunities for it.
Really though,a Rain+Dredoc RP through all of the game would be nice. Maybe add Thox but I'm not sure Wing can RP. >_>
Protoss119
09-07-2006, 07:43 PM
Yes it would...Dredoc turns to the Dark Side. >:D
And given Dredoc's uber AC (gets around 43-44), he is now a challenge.
Of course we could make custom gear. It'll be hilarious,what with Rain killing everyone on a touch. Maybe a heavy crossbow as well with bolts that,on hit,cast Fireball. GRENADE LAUNCHER!
Protoss119
09-08-2006, 02:59 PM
I did that a couple of times, actually. Ice Storm Arrows FTW.
My idea's cooler. So hah.
Protoss119
09-08-2006, 04:28 PM
...don't make me get out WotB arrows...
The level required would be so frickin high Dredoc would asplode if he touches one.
Protoss119
09-08-2006, 11:52 PM
Item Level for L20 WotB arrows = L34. Dredoc could use them if he were L34+.
For a L20 player, you'd need around L4 WotB arrows. Which still isn't bad, I guess...
Uh huh. DC<20=Phail.
If you want to know,the bar scene was from When Hillbillies Get Mad. You can find the movie,and the other two parts,and more,at http://www.2dplay.com/flash-movies.htm
Oh yes. It appears my friend on DotD(which I can post again)is being blamed for what happened to the board. Being the nice guy that I am,I'm ready to declare war. Wanna help?
Protoss119
09-09-2006, 08:51 AM
Sure sure. But it appears that they have a front on the infamous Campaign Creations board, so I might go there.
DC<20 per 3 seconds = winzors.
I'll see what I can do.
DC<20 per 3 seconds=Dredoc commits seppuku.
Protoss119
09-09-2006, 08:25 PM
Because there's a chance the enemy will roll a 1 on either of them? Yeah, Dredoc would commit seppuku. Of course, I'm controlling him, so he doesn't. >:D
Edit: 1,333 posts. Ph33r t3h 3ness.
You ever see Rali kill himself with Implosion? The same thing can potentially happen to Dredoc.
Protoss119
09-10-2006, 01:06 PM
Except this is WotB we're talking here, not implosion. So it's probably not going to happen.
If a fireball can hurt you at point blank range,so can WotB.
Protoss119
09-10-2006, 04:21 PM
Not with Death Ward...
~pulls out a Rod of Death Ward~
Halfwingseen
09-10-2006, 06:06 PM
WotB doesnt affect yourself usually unless its rescripted and then just freaking shadow shield invuln to necro
Whatever. I got writer's block. Help?
Protoss119
09-10-2006, 07:31 PM
Clone Sergols!
XD
I'd seriously like to see that happen.
Again,if someone dies.
Wait. You just inspired me.
(makes some changes to the script)
There we go. :)
Protoss119
09-11-2006, 02:59 PM
Nyatar: Beware the Sergols, Dredoc.
Dredoc: The Sergols?
Nyatar: Yes, I believe they are plotting something...wait, someone is stalking us.
Dredoc: Wha?
Nyatar: Oh blast! The DMs! They have found- ~ban'd~
Dredoc: !
DM 156: Dredoc knows too much and his AC is too high to get hit from our Ban Bolts.
DM 157: Release the Sergols!
DM 156: Immediately.
Dredoc enters the Halls of Justice.
Sergol: Good day, Dredoc. We have been waiting for you.
Dredoc: Who's "we"?
Sergol: Why me, of course.
Sergol 2: Me.
Sergol 3: Me.
Sergol 4: Me.
Sergol 5: ...me too.
Dredoc: Just great. And let me guess, my arrows won't affect you, right?
Sergol: Very clever, Dredoc.
Sergol 2: Too bad you-
Sergol 3: -won't survive-
Sergol 4: -this encounter.
Sergol 5: How come I don't get a part-
Sergol: Shhhh.
Sergol: ...oh.
Dredoc: I have a Wis of 14, so I know that's a threat. Die.
Dredoc unleashes a load of WotB arrows which kill everyone in the room except for himself. However, they all get rez'd as more Sergols.
Dredoc: WTF?
Sergol: You vastly-
Sergol 2: -underestimate us-
Sergol 3: -my good chum.
Dredoc unleashes more arrows killing more people but more and more Sergols come in the room and pile up on him.
Sergol 43, 23, 35, 9, 3, 77, & 101: It is...inevitable, Dredoc.
Suddenly, Dredoc puts on his melee gear & starts flying through all the Sergols, somehow escaping.
DM 156: He escaped somehow...
DM 157: No matter. We shall bring him back...soon...
...
Dredoc: That sucked.
Caradril: No matter, did you succeed in your mission, my lord?
Dredoc: No, Nyatar was banned.
Caradril: Misfortunate.
Dredoc: Yes...we have many agents working in that campaign, but soon they shall all be rooted out and banned.
Non-Canon Fin.
Rain: THAT SUCKED!
Dredoc: I know. 'Tis why I wrote it.
Caradril: You wanted it to suck? ...wierd...
OMFG. OMFG! I was typing up this hilarious post for once when I hit a few buttons and the window refreshes. SON OF A BITCH! Since I'm not gonna retype that...
Summary: Rain and Hail encounter 6 idiots inside the mansion,who eat a Ice Storm for them. Snow sends him a custom grenade launcher(Rain's words: But it's a heavy crossbow.)that Rain uses to clear a room of beetles. Meldanan is revealed to be Denning in disguise,but Rain tricks Bartre,who spawned nearby,to murderize him. Rain then blows up the door to the dryad,asploding her too. Mission accomplished. But when Rain recalls,he left his weapons behind. Insert Burly Brawl with clone Sergols. Outside,Snow finds Sergol's true identity,but before he could disclose it noobalisks attack his ship. Heat and Hurricane ward them off with dual-barreled photon cannon turrets while Hail meets a DM in plain daylight out to kill him and Snow calls Harner's ship for backup. Harner appears and throws Rain a jet glove which he uses to escape Neo-style. Hail? Let's just say Serind appeared and they threw the DM in a vat of Barney merchandise.
Protoss119
09-12-2006, 02:08 PM
Whewt!
Sergol 1138: I'm still alive! ~shot with anti-matrix gun~
I pray to God more people come when they visit the NWN2 server. I need the popularity. >_>
Halfwingseen
09-12-2006, 04:19 PM
infamy*
heheh
Protoss119
09-12-2006, 04:26 PM
So do I, JYAP. I might bring Dark Archon (Warlock) to the server just to test out the Warlock.
I wanna try Warlock too. I'll be Archon instead. Then we can wage war on each other over whose build is the best. Sadly,Al probably won't put in something to change us into willowisps so we look somewhat like Archons.
Protoss119
09-13-2006, 02:05 PM
Microscopic Archon: ~in voice that sounds something similar to a beetle~ We burn!!!!1111one
Microscopic Dark Archon: ~same voice as MA~ Must feed.......periodperiodperiod
Maybe I'll be able to make a Dark Archon portrait for NWN2...
We should ask Al to implement a model changer in EB2. We could have stuff like the Wraith Mafia,which is a bunch of monks. ^_^
Protoss119
09-13-2006, 04:01 PM
Ph34r t3h gh0ul 4rm13ยง!!!11111111one
When NWN2 comes out,let's get together and rampage through the story with our respective powerhouses,armed with kickass custom gear. It'll be swell.
Protoss119
09-15-2006, 02:21 PM
Swell is an understatement. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Prepare the Dark Archon for departure to NWN2!
Guy: OK.
...~shoots Guy~
Now should my archon be Light Archon or just plain Archon?
Protoss119
09-15-2006, 09:51 PM
Not sure. Archons have kick-ass Splash damage. Not much beating that other than the DA's MC.
Probably Light Archon so non-SC fans see the difference.
DA can eat EMP Shockwave. ^_^
Protoss119
09-16-2006, 08:45 PM
Yeah, but so can Archon. And Archon moreso than Dark Archon.
But Archon can get an attack off before dying. Dark Archon has to wait for energy to charge up and by then the technology hating marines will gank him.
Protoss119
09-17-2006, 07:07 AM
Maelstrom > Marine
Protoss119
09-18-2006, 02:35 PM
Touche. Forgot that EMP Shockwave kills energy, too. Then again, we always have Shuttles, and Dark Archons have more HP than Archons so they can live to run longer toward the Shuttle.
Depending on the supporting units sent,the Shuttle or DA might not live to fight again.
Marines: They can stim and wtfpwn either person.
Firebats: Best chance of living. Despite stim,if the Shuttle got upgraded,the DA will probably live.
Ghost: Lockdown FTL.
Goliath: Lose-lose on both fronts due to AA capability.
Siege Tank: Will probably blow up the DA before he gets to the shuttle.
Wraith: No chance of survival for the shuttle. Period.
Science Vessel: WTF?
Battlecruiser: Yamato'd.
Vulture: They could run down the DA and shoot him to death before the shuttle arrives.
Dropship: Good one.
SCV: What is he doing there? Seriously,he's like No. 1 on the MC list just to get a different tech tree.
So yeah. Of course pretty much all of them will kill the Archon too,but that's not the point.
Protoss119
09-18-2006, 05:10 PM
Arbiter FTW.
Arbiter would get the Archon out as well. >_>
Protoss119
09-20-2006, 02:26 PM
So there; there's no need to be arguing about who would survive when the Arb can just pull 'em out.
The Archon can fight though,and has an easier time healing. The Dark Archon could get like 4 guys then needs to wait 5 minutes to recharge.
Protoss119
11-17-2006, 02:57 PM
In 2006 war was beginning. ~bomb goes off on the Great Fox~
Snow: What happen ?
Heat: Someone set up us the bomb.
Sleet: We get signal.
Snow: What !
Sleet: Main screen turn on.
Snow: It's you !!
Kest Nihan (Newb-loving DM of Kest's Server/Local Vault): How are you gentlemen !! All your base are belong to us. You are on the way to destruction.
Snow: What you say !!
Kest: You have no chance to survive make your time. Ha ha ha ha . . . .
~shot~
(blows smoke off sniper rifle)
Protoss119
02-08-2007, 03:06 PM
Meanwhile, in Chapter 2...
...and if you ask how Dredoc got to Chapter 2, I will kill you.
Dredoc's in the superdimensional Temple of Tyr.
Dredoc: Aren't you worried about enemy DMs?
Neurik: Not the DMs themselves. This temple's in another dimension, so they can't get in. They do, however, have many agents that can enter here.
Angry Priest whose name I forget: F*** YOU DREDOC! GO TO HELL YOU MOTHER F***ING SON OF A MOTHER F***ING B****!
Dredoc: Can I count him as a spy?
Neurik: Go ahead.
Dredoc places an unplotination bomb on the Angry Priest whose name I forget and it explodes, deplotting him. Dredoc then unleashes a storm of Ice Arrows on him.
DM 141241: Damn. He found out.
Neurik: So anyway, I've developed an anti-DM shield for you. It will protect you from bannings and all other DM powers for as long as 4 game hours.
Dredoc: That's 8 RL minutes, you dolt!
Neurik: It is? Damn, I better redesign it then.
Dredoc: No no, it's good. It's perfect for what I'm about to do.
Neurik: DAMN YOU TRAITOR!
Dredoc: Not that, you dolt.
Neurik: Oh. What are you planning?
Dredoc: I'm going to pester those damn dirty DMs with a Planet of the Apes reference.
Neurik: You mean you're going to-
Dredoc: Yes.
Neurik: In that case, you have all the protection you need. Good luck, Dredoc.
Dredoc: I'll be back shortly.
Dredoc, upon going through the exit door, is beamed up Star Trek-style to the surface.
Farmer's Son: PLZ U MUST HELPZ ME
Dredoc: Die.
Dredoc puts an arrow through his head. Following him is about 10 mercs and 20 villagers.
DM 154213: Impossible! Dredoc's supposed to suck! No matter...
Jaheel walks up to Dredoc, looking right at him.
Jaheel: Oh, I didn't see you there. You startled me.
Dredoc: You walked right toward me, you fool! How could you not see me?!
No response. Dredoc guns her down. Unfortunately, that triggers thousands of Jaheels being spawned from the doors, all after Dredoc.
Neurik: ~from a Starfleet Badge/Com thingy on Dredoc's Robe~ Dredoc! It won't be long before the DMs can harm you again!
Dredoc: Right. Beam me back up!
Neurik: Roger.
Dredoc is beamed right back into the temple Star Trek-style.
Dredoc: Mission complete.
Neurik: Mission? What I witnessed was a mindless slaugter.
Dredoc: Shut up and improve upon the DM shield.
Fin.
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